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2013-06-03 2:23 PM

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Seattle
Subject: Keep your goals to yourself

Has anyone seen this TED talk? It's about the substitution effect.

http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html (don't worry, it's short)

I believe I already do this on some level but don't consciously do it for the reasons they say. 

Of course everyone is different and I would be curious to know what you all do and why you think you do it?



Edited by Asalzwed 2013-06-03 2:32 PM


2013-06-03 2:41 PM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
I put my goals out there. There's no way I could keep them to myself--it's part of my motivation, having everyone's support. Especially my parents. It's a huge boon when on the low of a roller coaster. I keep my super crazy, long term goals I'm serious about (that most people would think is actually a joke) to myself though unless specifically asked. My short term "I want to hit X amount of time at this race" is usually pretty vocal.
2013-06-03 2:46 PM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself

Specifically speaking of triathlons, goals are a very natural part of interactions and conversations. It's really hard, IMO, to not bring it up - both when talking about your own experiences and talking to others. 

2013-06-03 2:59 PM
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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself

I can't even say I have goals anymore when it comes to triathlon or sports.  Now it's just a matter of keeping fit so that I can do the things I enjoy doing.  I suppose something like, "I'm going to run the entire IM marathon" is a goal.....but if it doesn't happen I really don't care that much....it's a small thing in life.  I'm more comfortable calling them "ideas" rather than goals.....a goal is something you really need to be tied to, and I don't have to have that with triathlon.  Four years ago I had an idea to run an IM in 4 - 5 years.  I hadn't thought about which one, or what time of year, or any other arrangements.  Like most things, it all just kind of fell into place as I continued to have ideas about it.  I guess if the wheels fall off it was all just a bad idea. Laughing 

I don't mind talking to people about ideas I have for things I'd like to do.....but I don't do it much because I'm not that interested in the feedback......after all, it's something I'd like to do, and it's usually my idea for myself....so it's much more enjoyable for me to just work through it.

I once had an idea of running 100 days in a row after my last bout with PF....I posted about it and was met with a pretty unanimous, "that's a bad idea".......I'm on day 267.



Edited by Left Brain 2013-06-03 3:10 PM
2013-06-03 3:04 PM
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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
That was really interesting and makes a lot of sense about how people can get the psychological satisfaction they are looking for by simply mentioning their goals to others.

For me, I usually don't tell anyone about specific goals unless they are the type of person to hold me to it. For example, I may tell my bike mechanic my bike racing goals for the year, fully knowing that he's not going to give me a pat on the back for setting those goals. And God forbid I fall short of them, he'll likely make fun of me and tell me how much I suck. He'll also blame any of the swimming and running I do as to why I'm not faster on my bike.


As for general goals in life...I also tend not to speak out about them in advance unless necessary. That's just not the type of person I am. I don't think there is anything wrong with publicising them, but I never thought of the perspective the video was coming from. Interesting to say the least.

ETA: I did start a Predict my HIM thread where I stated my goals for a race, but I don't think that's in the context of this discussion. I had already put in the training and work for the race before stating my goals...and they still blew up in my face...hahaha.



Edited by tri808 2013-06-03 3:07 PM
2013-06-03 3:19 PM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
Very interesting.  I'd say I usually keep my goals to myself mainly for fear that if I don't acheive them, no one will know anyway!  Plus in my mind there is a superstitious angle as well.  If I say specific goals, I feel like I'm jinxing myself, so I usually throw the words 'try' or 'hope' in there so the goal is less definite.  But that's just my whacko way of thinking!


2013-06-03 3:43 PM
in reply to: melbo55

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
Interesting video. I tend to keep my goals to myself simply because I realized long ago that no one really cares about anyone else's goals in life. It's kind of narcissistic to think that anyone else *should* care. Your actual achievements? Perhaps. But your goals? No one cares.
2013-06-03 4:03 PM
in reply to: johnmoran

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
I do have long term target goals that I don't mind mentioning in the proper context if asked. Like qualifying for Boston or getting to Kona but It is kind of taboo for me to utter a specific time goal for a particular race. I think that if I do I will jinx myself.

I do have very specific goal times for every race that include a goal strategy (i.e negative split or good transitions), pace, overall time, etc. I also have a goal I can live with, a goal that would be a good day, and an optimistic goal if everything went perfect. All this I keep in my head. I do so many races anymore that no one really cares but me anyway.

2013-06-03 4:39 PM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
People annoy the ever living dog snot out of me when they yammer on about how they're going to do this, going to do that, going to break 6 minute miles for a marathon.

I really never want to put others through that having to listen to my inanities about stuff that honestly doesn't matter one whit in the long run so I rarely even talk about what the heck I do outside of work. Why on Earth would they care?

2013-06-03 6:45 PM
in reply to: DanielG

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself

Originally posted by DanielG People annoy the ever living dog snot out of me when they yammer on about how they're going to do this, going to do that, going to break 6 minute miles for a marathon. I really never want to put others through that having to listen to my inanities about stuff that honestly doesn't matter one whit in the long run so I rarely even talk about what the heck I do outside of work. Why on Earth would they care?

 

Dude....you can tell me......I care. Laughing

2013-06-03 6:52 PM
in reply to: DanielG

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself

Originally posted by DanielG People annoy the ever living dog snot out of me when they yammer on about how they're going to do this, going to do that, going to break 6 minute miles for a marathon. I really never want to put others through that having to listen to my inanities about stuff that honestly doesn't matter one whit in the long run so I rarely even talk about what the heck I do outside of work. Why on Earth would they care?

My expression of the week - love it!



2013-06-03 7:29 PM
in reply to: #4765308

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself
I wonder what would happen if someone stated their goals but they did not receive a uplifting affirming reaction? I think they would still with not complete the goal.

So I don't think it's the reaction of others. I think it has to do more with personality type.
2013-06-03 8:09 PM
in reply to: Asalzwed

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Subject: RE: Keep your goals to yourself

Interesting thread.

I don't like to put that stuff out there.  Race day brings too many variables, and I like to just do the "best" I can on any given day.  I will tell people what races I'm doing, but will only talk to my husband about "goals" and, as LB said, they're more like "ideas" than goals. 

I think part of why I don't put stuff like that out there is that I feel like those things are very personal. As many others have said, I don't know many/any who would care, and the ones that do care, probably "care" for the wrong reasons (smallish community with some women silliness/pettiness/competitiveness). 

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