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2016-07-19 8:21 PM

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Subject: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
So I am swimming in the lake with my best friend this evening. She helps me with my sunscreen and she says " Boy your back is so bony!" Later she comments "I am not used to you looking so small on top! What are you now, a B cup??"

How do you even respond to this??

(For the record... I have lost a little weight this season, but not a huge amount... about 10 pounds (5 foot 1 inch, was 120, now 110). I realize that I am now at the low end of healthy weight for my frame, but I am still within the range of normal and don't intend to lose more!

I know this has been said before... but can't people understand how self conscious this can make someone?? No one wants to think they are gaunt and sickly looking!


2016-07-19 10:19 PM
in reply to: Caroleena

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!

The bra size comment is pretty bad. And how offended would people be if the discussion went the other direction "gee, your back is so meaty. I'm not used to seeing you so large on top etc.... 

Don't let it get to you. Some people get really insecure about change of any kind even if it doesn't have anything to do with them. 

 

2016-07-20 5:56 AM
in reply to: trigal38

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by trigal38

The bra size comment is pretty bad. And how offended would people be if the discussion went the other direction "gee, your back is so meaty. I'm not used to seeing you so large on top etc.... 

Don't let it get to you. Some people get really insecure about change of any kind even if it doesn't have anything to do with them. 

 




Thanks. Yes, I think she is concerned I will waste away, but no chance of that with my appetite!
2016-07-20 6:59 AM
in reply to: Caroleena

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by Caroleena

So I am swimming in the lake with my best friend this evening. She helps me with my sunscreen and she says " Boy your back is so bony!" Later she comments "I am not used to you looking so small on top! What are you now, a B cup??"

How do you even respond to this??

(For the record... I have lost a little weight this season, but not a huge amount... about 10 pounds (5 foot 1 inch, was 120, now 110). I realize that I am now at the low end of healthy weight for my frame, but I am still within the range of normal and don't intend to lose more!

I know this has been said before... but can't people understand how self conscious this can make someone?? No one wants to think they are gaunt and sickly looking!


From Dan Empfield of ST

"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight."

2016-07-20 7:40 AM
in reply to: Caroleena

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by Caroleena

So I am swimming in the lake with my best friend this evening. She helps me with my sunscreen and she says " Boy your back is so bony!" Later she comments "I am not used to you looking so small on top! What are you now, a B cup??"

How do you even respond to this??

(For the record... I have lost a little weight this season, but not a huge amount... about 10 pounds (5 foot 1 inch, was 120, now 110). I realize that I am now at the low end of healthy weight for my frame, but I am still within the range of normal and don't intend to lose more!

I know this has been said before... but can't people understand how self conscious this can make someone?? No one wants to think they are gaunt and sickly looking!
maybe it was her indirect way of saying to you that she is worried about you. Surely if she is your best friend there is a bit of leeway with her saying stuff like that, it's not like she is just an acquaintance or a stranger.
2016-07-20 9:36 AM
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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by marcag

From Dan Empfield of ST

"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight."




I can relate to this.
I lost 100+ lbs. and there's a group of people I see in my other hobby life about 3-4 times a year. Generally all over the summer, except one weekend in the winter.

I had a ton of people asking me that weekend "You're OK, right? Nothing we need to worry about."

As for, the OP's issue....I can't say how to react to that/. Being a dude and all I've got no experience in that arena. On top of that (apart from some gnarly leftover skin tags from my fat days, and even then....it was a practical issue as much as a self-image issue), I've fortunately not had to ever real deal with self-image consciousness. Except in middle school......when EVERYBODY gets some of it at some point.

But, being a dude and all....without appearing rude in any way....

There's very few of us dudes that are truly into the overinflated bolt-ons. In my unscientific estimation (based on years of hanging around on the more seedy elements of the interwebs and messageboards), 97.63% of all dudes would gladly welcome the demise of that particular industry. I know it's completely different from the "wearer's" perspective. It goes beyond the bolt-ons. In general, the perception of ideal on body shape and various sizes of bits and pieces greatly differs between the sexes.

Sometimes us dudes don't get enough credit. We are not all lecherous pigs. Well, we are. But it's not really all that rooted in a specific idea. Great example:.....the "thigh gap". If that was a "thing" dude's ever noticed.....I would have KNOWN about it prior to 3 years ago. I venture to say that no dude had ever heard of....or noticed a 'thigh gap' or lack thereof.....until some female blogger/reporter/Lululemon marketing exec. brought it into the light of public discourse.

Then again, us dudes in general, do tend to have our own....uhm....'size' issues.

Edited by jhaack39 2016-07-20 9:37 AM


2016-07-20 8:00 PM
in reply to: marcag

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by marcag

Originally posted by Caroleena

So I am swimming in the lake with my best friend this evening. She helps me with my sunscreen and she says " Boy your back is so bony!" Later she comments "I am not used to you looking so small on top! What are you now, a B cup??"

How do you even respond to this??

(For the record... I have lost a little weight this season, but not a huge amount... about 10 pounds (5 foot 1 inch, was 120, now 110). I realize that I am now at the low end of healthy weight for my frame, but I am still within the range of normal and don't intend to lose more!

I know this has been said before... but can't people understand how self conscious this can make someone?? No one wants to think they are gaunt and sickly looking!


From Dan Empfield of ST

"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight."




LOL! that is exactly what I was thinking! Of course, I DO have some vanity and still want to look good and not like a cadaver!
2016-07-20 8:07 PM
in reply to: StaceyK

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by StaceyK

Originally posted by Caroleena

So I am swimming in the lake with my best friend this evening. She helps me with my sunscreen and she says " Boy your back is so bony!" Later she comments "I am not used to you looking so small on top! What are you now, a B cup??"

How do you even respond to this??

(For the record... I have lost a little weight this season, but not a huge amount... about 10 pounds (5 foot 1 inch, was 120, now 110). I realize that I am now at the low end of healthy weight for my frame, but I am still within the range of normal and don't intend to lose more!

I know this has been said before... but can't people understand how self conscious this can make someone?? No one wants to think they are gaunt and sickly looking!
maybe it was her indirect way of saying to you that she is worried about you. Surely if she is your best friend there is a bit of leeway with her saying stuff like that, it's not like she is just an acquaintance or a stranger.


Yes, understand your point. But it doesn't make it any less hurtful.
2016-07-20 8:09 PM
in reply to: jhaack39

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by jhaack39

Originally posted by marcag

From Dan Empfield of ST

"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight."




I can relate to this.
I lost 100+ lbs. and there's a group of people I see in my other hobby life about 3-4 times a year. Generally all over the summer, except one weekend in the winter.

I had a ton of people asking me that weekend "You're OK, right? Nothing we need to worry about."

As for, the OP's issue....I can't say how to react to that/. Being a dude and all I've got no experience in that arena. On top of that (apart from some gnarly leftover skin tags from my fat days, and even then....it was a practical issue as much as a self-image issue), I've fortunately not had to ever real deal with self-image consciousness. Except in middle school......when EVERYBODY gets some of it at some point.

But, being a dude and all....without appearing rude in any way....

There's very few of us dudes that are truly into the overinflated bolt-ons. In my unscientific estimation (based on years of hanging around on the more seedy elements of the interwebs and messageboards), 97.63% of all dudes would gladly welcome the demise of that particular industry. I know it's completely different from the "wearer's" perspective. It goes beyond the bolt-ons. In general, the perception of ideal on body shape and various sizes of bits and pieces greatly differs between the sexes.

Sometimes us dudes don't get enough credit. We are not all lecherous pigs. Well, we are. But it's not really all that rooted in a specific idea. Great example:.....the "thigh gap". If that was a "thing" dude's ever noticed.....I would have KNOWN about it prior to 3 years ago. I venture to say that no dude had ever heard of....or noticed a 'thigh gap' or lack thereof.....until some female blogger/reporter/Lululemon marketing exec. brought it into the light of public discourse.

Then again, us dudes in general, do tend to have our own....uhm....'size' issues.






What the heck is an overinflated bolt on?? Or don't I want to know?
2016-07-20 8:39 PM
in reply to: 0

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!

Originally posted by Caroleena
Originally posted by jhaack39
Originally posted by marcag From Dan Empfield of ST "the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight."
I can relate to this. I lost 100+ lbs. and there's a group of people I see in my other hobby life about 3-4 times a year. Generally all over the summer, except one weekend in the winter. I had a ton of people asking me that weekend "You're OK, right? Nothing we need to worry about." As for, the OP's issue....I can't say how to react to that/. Being a dude and all I've got no experience in that arena. On top of that (apart from some gnarly leftover skin tags from my fat days, and even then....it was a practical issue as much as a self-image issue), I've fortunately not had to ever real deal with self-image consciousness. Except in middle school......when EVERYBODY gets some of it at some point. But, being a dude and all....without appearing rude in any way.... There's very few of us dudes that are truly into the overinflated bolt-ons. In my unscientific estimation (based on years of hanging around on the more seedy elements of the interwebs and messageboards), 97.63% of all dudes would gladly welcome the demise of that particular industry. I know it's completely different from the "wearer's" perspective. It goes beyond the bolt-ons. In general, the perception of ideal on body shape and various sizes of bits and pieces greatly differs between the sexes. Sometimes us dudes don't get enough credit. We are not all lecherous pigs. Well, we are. But it's not really all that rooted in a specific idea. Great example:.....the "thigh gap". If that was a "thing" dude's ever noticed.....I would have KNOWN about it prior to 3 years ago. I venture to say that no dude had ever heard of....or noticed a 'thigh gap' or lack thereof.....until some female blogger/reporter/Lululemon marketing exec. brought it into the light of public discourse. Then again, us dudes in general, do tend to have our own....uhm....'size' issues.
What the heck is an overinflated bolt on?? Or don't I want to know?

Nah......you don't....you're doing great! I bet you look like a million bucks!



Edited by Left Brain 2016-07-20 8:40 PM
2016-07-20 9:09 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: Sheesh! Thanks alot!
Originally posted by Left Brain

Originally posted by Caroleena
Originally posted by jhaack39
Originally posted by marcag From Dan Empfield of ST "the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight."
I can relate to this. I lost 100+ lbs. and there's a group of people I see in my other hobby life about 3-4 times a year. Generally all over the summer, except one weekend in the winter. I had a ton of people asking me that weekend "You're OK, right? Nothing we need to worry about." As for, the OP's issue....I can't say how to react to that/. Being a dude and all I've got no experience in that arena. On top of that (apart from some gnarly leftover skin tags from my fat days, and even then....it was a practical issue as much as a self-image issue), I've fortunately not had to ever real deal with self-image consciousness. Except in middle school......when EVERYBODY gets some of it at some point. But, being a dude and all....without appearing rude in any way.... There's very few of us dudes that are truly into the overinflated bolt-ons. In my unscientific estimation (based on years of hanging around on the more seedy elements of the interwebs and messageboards), 97.63% of all dudes would gladly welcome the demise of that particular industry. I know it's completely different from the "wearer's" perspective. It goes beyond the bolt-ons. In general, the perception of ideal on body shape and various sizes of bits and pieces greatly differs between the sexes. Sometimes us dudes don't get enough credit. We are not all lecherous pigs. Well, we are. But it's not really all that rooted in a specific idea. Great example:.....the "thigh gap". If that was a "thing" dude's ever noticed.....I would have KNOWN about it prior to 3 years ago. I venture to say that no dude had ever heard of....or noticed a 'thigh gap' or lack thereof.....until some female blogger/reporter/Lululemon marketing exec. brought it into the light of public discourse. Then again, us dudes in general, do tend to have our own....uhm....'size' issues.
What the heck is an overinflated bolt on?? Or don't I want to know?

Nah......you don't....you're doing great! I bet you look like a million bucks!




Thanks LB!


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