I've been up since 4:30 am for no reason - stressed and sad, I guess. Sad that Sam is gone, and sadder about the circumstances that led to it - the whole thing just breaks my heart. I'm thankful that I have plans to paint with a couple of friends today. I think I'd lose it if I had to hang out in my studio by myself the whole day.

When I got home last night, a bear had been in our garage and overturned and emptied all of the trash cans. There were still wet footprints on the floor, so I must have just missed it! Need to make sure we're closing the garage all the time. This is the second time in a few weeks - the first time it just got into a bag on top of the trash, so I figured it could have been anything, but last night it was obviously a bear, and I don't want it to learn that my garage is the place to go for food!

Aaaaaand here's the culprit, standing in my driveway after dinner tonight - he's pretty cute!

I'm looking forward to getting back in the groove now that I'm home!

Ate crap all weekend and my weight is (surprisingly) still down a bit, but I'm really motivated to get back to eating clean now that I'm home. Went shopping last night so I'd have veggies and stuff. On Sunday, I went ALL DAY without eating a vegetable - felt so gross.

Group ride tonight at Marshall Mesa. Hopefully it doesn't get rained out this week - I need to ride my bike after 5 days off!!

9:30 - Just found out my BIL Sam died last night. I was expecting it, but that doesn't make it suck any less. SAD.

Phew. I have never been so happy to be home in my life!! I'm not really sure why - the trip was fun - but I'm guessing it's pretty much that this is kind of a shitty week for me, and I turn into a homebody when I'm stressed.

Anyhow, to recap, the show was fun. I went by myself which was good because I wasn't worrying about Nate the whole time, but also kind of lame at times because I had to try harder to find people to go out with for meals and all that. I met a handful of new artists and sat through some really good sessions, so it was good. I was the youngest person there by at least 10 years, so a little out of place, but that's also nice because I feel like I'm in a good spot career-wise. My painting was hung in a crappy spot (which just happens sometimes in a show with 300 paintings), so no sale so far, but just being in this show is a big honor so it's all good.

My SIL didn't finish IMTX, which is a bummer. She actually had really good splits for the swim and bike and was doing well, but I guess the course was full of cops and she just had a total emotional meltdown about my BIL having an affair/leaving her (he's a cop). She decided not to beat herself up for four hours and quit 3 miles into the run. :(

Today would have been my sister's 45th birthday, so I'm sad. It gets easier to cope with as time goes by, but I miss her. A lot. And my BIL (her husband) is in hospice right now, probably not going to make it much longer, which is crazy sad. UGH.