Am I being unreasonable?

It's a tough call.  I train sometimes with a female trainer at my gym, but I make a point of not getting overly friendly with her.  No suggestions of hanging out, getting a bite to eat after the gym, no texts, calls, or emails, except for training purposes.  No hugs when saying goodbye or hello.  It's always been a cordial professional let's get to work type of relationship.  My wife has given me grief a couple of times, but nothing too bad, but she also believes in what Chris Rock said, "Men don't have women friends; they've just got women they haven't"...well, you get the picture.  Keep the relationship all about training, don't give your husband a reason to worry, and you still might have to find a different partner.  It is in some people's nature to be jealous.

I train mostly with guys. My hubby is fine with that and I invite him along to stuff like track workouts so he gets to meet the people that I train with. We also socialize outside of training with my training partner's families. I dont know how much time you spend training with one this guy- I know I do about half my training alone, but still, you could be spending many hours training with someone and that might hurt your spouse's feelings.

I hope you can work it out. Its great when you find good people to train with, that can really push you but it's also important to have harmony at home  

I've been there with my wife.  I guess I can see her point...even though everything was innocent (we were just training together).  I didn't put up much of an argument with my wife and find myself training with guys and mostly alone.   It just wasn't worth the conflict for me. 

Tell you husband that he better cowboy up and become your training partner now, since he deprived you of one.  

Triathlon is an individual sport.  Yes training in groups helps.  Yes, you should be able to train occasionally with a person of the opposite sex, but the idea that your whole training is falling apart because of this is ridiculous.  Other than an occasional swim or a rare bike with others, all my training is done on my own.

Also, remember that this is a hobby.  It is not worth aggravation just to train with someone whom your significant other disapproves of.  Put things in perspective...

Sorry, I know this sounds kind of harsh, but so did your post.  Your SO is bothered for a reason.  Maybe look into why that is.  Maybe, jelous of time, maybe insecure, maybe wishing that he could be that person that you rely on.  Whatever the reason, it is justified in his mind and you owe it to him to respect that.

Not to turn this into a CoJ thread, but really, are people obliged to indulge their partner's insecurities?

ETA: My post made me sound uncompromising, so to clarify: Yes, we have to be sensitive, but this is a good opportunity to explore the feelings. Discuss the situation and try to find a reasonable compromise.

I would say that training can be accomplished alone, and that without further discussion with the husband, or more details, it may be more than just a simple insecurity.

Either way, I'd say it sounds like the OP wants to ignore her husbands issues because she feels hers are more important. 

Lot's of other potential training partners out there who are women that with some effort I would think you could find but you only have one husband.  Jealousy within reason is a basic and normal human emotion and even though you may not have any otehr intentions other than just training and it could very well just stay that way, many bad situations start this way and I think it's reasonable for him to have a problem with that.  I know it's frustratin but it seems to be that he has a reasonable concern and it's best for you to put your marriage over your training.

I hope you can work something out with a female partner.

Is your husband a teenager? This sounds like the kind of stuff that goes on when a guy is insercure or when he doesn't have complete trust in his partner.

I train with anyone I want with no problem. There is a reason I'm married and that's because I'm madly in love and my wife knows it.

She has no problem with me training with anyone. She is the only female executive at her company and I have no problem with her traveling on business trips with her colleagues.

Tell your husband to grow up!

x2  They say 'for better or worse" for a reason.  If people don't like that part, then don't be married.  It's better to be happily divorced than miserable in marriage.

Had issues with this in an earlier life. Had more to do with SO insecurity than anything else...no more her!

NOW wifey is training partner so no problems!

That being said, sounds like something that transcends training with a person of the opposite sex. The reason for your frustration may lie beyond not being able to train with this guy. Sounds like a serious heart to heart is in order. Good luck!

That's an unfair statement to make without knowing what is going on behind the scenes... he very well could be putting his own insecurity above his wife.

Its hard for anyone here at BT to make this call without knowing more about the details of your relationship.  Does he have a reason to be jealous?  How do you know this guy?  etc...

Seems to me there is something else going on that has nothing to do with triathlon training.

Yup.. I agree. We need more details to make a call.  How often do you train together?  Do you just meet up, train, and go home or do you hang out together outside of training? 

There may be a nuance that was missed here. Indulging your partner's insecurities means accepting them as reasonable and not questioning them. If you do that, you pretty much ensure that your relationship will not grow.

How about if your husband didn't like that you had to work with men? Or didn't like that you went to the gym at all because there were fit single men there? 

There is a point where insecurities have to be dealt with. I have seen some really insecure, bordering on tyrannical men who sought to limit the activities of their wives and girlfriends based on their own fears. That is not cool.

A mature relationship is one where trust and respect is extended in both directions. If you feel insecure at one point, you have to realize it's your problem, not your partner's.

My wife actually asked her female co-worker who does Ironman's to help me train and give me advice.  And once I get better I am going to train with her.

 It sucks that your husband is so insecure to think that just because you spend time with someone, it means you are leaving.  Does it happen?  Yes, but I wonder how strong a relationship is when it does happen.  If he was comfortable with your marriage, it wouldnt bother him. (Note: I am not passing judgement on your relationship since I have no idea)

By the way, I'm new here, so hi everyone!