Want to know what I wish for? (rant on)

And yes, I know I can buy this, or have  meals delivered or whatever...

I want someone to plan a menu, give the recipes and tell me what to buy.  I am so bad with food.  I love to snack, and I don't make time to cook. I'm a lazy azz and I drive myself nuts.   I bounce with the same weight FOREVER, even though I know exactly what to do...I DON'T DO IT!! And I don't know why!  Argh!!

Rant off.

This week's rant brought to you by the letters P, M, and S.