Is there any hope?

my hubby joined me for my first tri - though he didn't train so much and his hope was it would "bring us together."  But I wasn't looking for a team effort, I was looking to race!  He didn't have the competitive spirit so our unmatched passions were not well suited for tri-togetherness. 

Now, off season, I'm training for my first 10K.  his contribution is encouraging me to go run when I mention I need a training session, and, of course, pulling more kid duty then. 

My wife and I have been running and racing for about 7 years. This year I finally got her to try a duathlon. She doesn't swim and doesn't want to. However, we almost never train together as we have much different speeds and training philosophies. It bugs her for me to run at her speed and she can't run at mine.

It would be great if your husband would see the benefit of exercise. If you have kids maybe you can get them involved.

although my wife does not want to do a tri...after seeing me loose 25lbs in a few months and watching my overall anexity and stress level decrease...she bought a HRM and is in the "prep weeks" of a 10K program herself! 

I never pushed her...she just wants to join in on the fun.

Ok, enough with those answers and I'm not trying to be pessimistic but...

You've found something you love and enjoy. He obviously doesn't want to enjoy it with you right now. He may never want to. He might be content going to watch you race, or sleeping in late while you train or race. There are many others here that fall into this category. Some SO's even resent the training and time away from the family. I know of some who even try to sabotage their efforts of weight loss and progress. Laying the guilt trip won't help anything, it'll push him farther away (see: resent above).

As I said, your SO might not ever enjoy this stuff with you. He has his own interests and you can't make him like yours. You'll have to enjoy it on your own, after all this is for YOU.  Find other people to enjoy it with (training partners, clubs, group events, etc). They are out there, see your states forum in the training section. There is nothing wrong with having other friends to train with and sometimes it can be a break and an outside outlet.

You just have to deal with it for now and maybe one day your love and passion for the training and racing will rub off. But it might not. Be happy with what you do and maybe he'll come around.

I feel your pain.  My wife has zero interest in competing in or training for a tri.  Since I was in high school 20 or so years ago, I have always gravitated towards individual sports.  Back then it was wrestling, then rock climbing, now it's triathlon.  I have become acustomed to training and competing "alone".  As most have stated, you can't force them into it, so you kinda just have to accept that and find other things to do together. 

honestly, probably not much hope.

My husband and I met through and internet dating website.  One of his interest listed on his profile was "triathlon"!!  As I was busy training for Ironman I thought that was a definate bonus so I emailed him.  I asked him if he competed, he said no, he likes to watch.  Hmm ok,   I was sure I could work with that.

I have tried, begged and pleaded for him to give if it a tri, all to no avail.  He has not taken part in one, and point bland refuses to get on a bike. 

I have come to terms with this and now enjoy that fact that all though he does not take part, or even come and watch every triathlon he will be there for the big ones - as my top supporter.   

I wouldn't give up as you never know how things peculate in folk's mind and come out. If anyone 5 years ago would have told me I'd do an IM this year, I would have laughed. I was out of shape and didn't even like to walk.

My husband says he wants to do a tri but doesn't ever do anything about it. I will not nag or ask as he needs motivation to come from within. If I bug him and then he  does it it won't feel right. I know for me if someone pushes me often I rebel...he may be jealous or uncomfortable with the new things you are doing.

I agree easiest thing for him to do with you is cycyle. It may be a pride thing as you probably would be faster than he would be.

Even though my husband doesn't tri, he is very supportive. He comes to almost all my events, helps schlep my stuff, finds stuff I lose, encourages me to ge my workouts done, when I do long workouts he asks what he can make me to eat afterwards and what time I'd like it, he helps out with laundy and he supports my dreams and adventures.

x2

My boyfriend is NOT an active person.  I wish we could train together, but that'll probably happen the day cows fly over VA.  And it's so true that it will cause resentment and just overall annoyance.  We do short races together sometimes, like 1k or 1 mile, because that's all he wants to do.  And I'm happy to do them with him.  But I know that if he ever does more, it'll be because he wants too.  I tried at first to get him to be more active, but really, he didn't want to and he just got annoyed with me.  So I stopped and let him do his own thing.  We have an understanding about racing and training and as long as I am not bugging/guilt tripping him about his own stuff, we have no issues.  I think you should just do your own thing with the expectation that he will not join you. 

My wife just recently got the itch to try a tri.  After going to a few tris with me, especially tris with sprints as an option and seeing all the different type of folks that participate on whatever bike and some that look in pretty bad shape, I think she got the idea that "I can do this"  The racers at some of the Olys and Half Irons are a little intimidating but sprints are a good introduction to newbies, to see everyone isn't on a fancy tri bike with fancy gear.

So I found a decent used bike for her, we do rides together but I also do other bike workouts without her, she swims with me which works out fine for swims of an hour or less I do my longer swims on days were not off together, and we do a lot of trail running together and this works out great, as I run ahead on the trail, then turn around and run back to see her, then keep going before turning around and passing her again heading up the trail further.  So she does the pace she wants and I get some extra hill work in or whatever I may be working on that day.

We enjoy our extra time together.

This is really great for you, but I think answers like this are going to make the OP feel worse. Her SO does not feel this way.

Her hubby needs to express an interest on his own and she needs to be ok with that or they're going to have other issues. Hang in there OP, and go enjoy your bike riding and running with other people who enjoy it!

My Buddy joined me 4 years ago...

After sees me in the Races for 1 year...He got interested and motivated...and...he decided to try and he was hooked...LOL

So I get to bring a little bit of the other perspective...My husband was always athletic...when we first met it was cycling and now it is running.  During the first 7 years of our relationship I was "too busy" with college and then medical school to join him.  He never pressured me, he never pushed, but I know that he was frustrated by my lack of activity.  Sometime in the early part of 2007 I got sick of being the slug that I had become (I had not always been too busy for physical activity, I had been a swimmer through high school) and decided that I was going to do a triathlon.  I started training and completed my first tri this summer.  I am hooked and already planning tris, runs, and bike races for next year.  So I guess there is hope...but it probably has to be something that he wants to do.

Now I have the same problem in that I want my husband to do a triathlon...and he doesn't want to (he is not a great swimmer)...For right now we have compromised and we are trying to find events that have a tri and duathlon on the same day...and we are planning on doing my first and his second century next fall. 

I'm very lucky. I train and race with my father and now my mother starts training for a duathlon.

We can always motivate each other, it is great. I hope to find a girl that will share the same values of training and racing.

I have tried (and failed) to get my husband interested in triathlon, or even just a running race.  I did get him to run a few times a week for about a month, but then that fizzled out.  I hope at some point he decides to return to exercise (any exercise) for his own personal health, but I have accepted the fact that he will never want to train or race with me. 

However, my sister is all into it now, so that's cool.

Nat,

HTFU 

Honestly, I totally relate. I train alone, and I attend races alone. My wife has absolutely no interest. She supports me in that she doesn't complain about my taking the time to train or mney spent on "toys", but I do make sure I give back.

My wife has never been active since her high school soccer and field hockey days 25 years ago (actually, I wasn't either until only a few years ago) and although I have talked her into a gym membership a couple of years ago, the odd group aerobic session with friends is about it. She enjoys some very minor activities like gardening, walks almost daily, and at least is within her IBW, but running? Fagetaboudit.

runningwoof, lol, the "dolphins"

The Nat, maybe you could carrot and stick him with the latest computer gadget, say if he trains for and completes a sprint triathlon you'll buy him the G1 phone or something