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Is there any hope? (Page 2)
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 2008-10-10 9:49 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
Master  1741     Chapel Hill, NC |  Subject: RE: Is there any hope?You can't make somebody want to exercise and get healthy. They'll just resent you. I say just keep on tri-ing yourself, and maybe someday you'll inspire him. |
| 2008-10-10 10:07 AM in reply to: #1732776 |
Elite 2527 Armpit of Ontario | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? KimoKali - 2008-10-10 10:48 AM ...maybe you could carrot and stick him with the latest computer gadget, say if he trains for and completes a sprint triathlon you'll buy him the G1 phone or something or show him what all the "cool' triathletes are playing with, like a Garmin 405, computrainer, etc... |
| 2008-10-10 10:12 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
Member 381 | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? we (triathletes) are kind of outside of the norm. many people do not seek to endure hardship for the sake of testing and bettering themselves. however, excercise in and of itself does not need to be this way. maybe you can find "fun" things to do that you will both enjoy. like hiking with the goal of getting some awesome outdoor photos. or playing softball. or badminton. or canoeing. there are many other people that stay away from exercise because they don't want to feel inferior or like they aren't good at something. think about 6th grade PE. Your signature line says Know Thyself. In this case, the answer to your question requires knowing your husband and why he feels as he does. good luck |
| 2008-10-10 10:14 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
| Extreme Veteran 494 Morris County, NJ | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? Nat, It is wonderful that you love "everything about training for triathlons," but consider whether you have always felt that way. A few years ago, if someone had asked you to train with them would you have considered it. You came to it in your own time, and perhaps, some day your husband will as well. In the meantime, loner as you are, you need not train by yourself. There must be a local group you can join. Think of the time as a personal indulgence outside your married life. You both need time to yourselves. Don't attempt to coerce your husband into the sport. He will most certainly resent it. Essentially, you are telling him he is unfit, and I imagine this has a negative impact on him emotionally. And, as you have admitted, he clearly hasn't enjoyed the attempts he has made when running. "Suffering through a handful of runs," is no way to inspire someone. You think it is fun--he does not. Leave it alone. I am sure he has plenty of interests he wishes you would share. For the sake of his health, encourage him to seek out another physical activity that he can master on his own. Then, don't complain when he nags you to tag along! |
| 2008-10-10 10:26 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
Member 297 | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I've heard the saying that opposites attract, but at some point I think you have to share a significant common interest. The fact that he isn't interested at all in maintaining his fitness is a sad reflection of American society in general. Hopefully your good example will eventually bring him around. Good luck. Matt Cazalas - Technical Writer
Edited by sbrstlouis 2008-10-10 10:27 AM |
| 2008-10-10 10:39 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
| Regular 154 | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? Have you actually raced in a triathlon yet and did your DH go with you? He might get the bug after he sees/experiences an actual event. I am one of the lucky ones that "trains" with my DH. Actually we go on group rides together and he stays with the men and I stay with them as long as I can and then drop back with the women. When we run he either runs longer or goes out again because my pace was a bit slow for him. I can barely beat him in the swim  but when we swim together he is always right behind me pushing me to go faster. Just keep up your training, don't nag and make sure he comes to watch you when you compete - I bet at some point you might inspire him to try something. Also, I think biking might be a great way for him to start. If I had started triathlon training with just running at first I would have quit but the bike won me over Good Luck! |
| 2008-10-10 10:48 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
| Member 279 DC Metro | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I know you've received lots of responses but ultimately, who knows? It was mostly me that started 'this' and my husband has followed. He was pretty reluctant with running but we are now both in a 5k training class. Although most of our 'training' is done by ourselves. We run at different times, we swim at different times and mostly bike at different times. We will go hiking together or biking together on the weekends but that is about it. If you want to encourage him to be more active, I'd try to see what he might have interest in doing. |
| 2008-10-10 11:08 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
Extreme Veteran 589 Gig Harbor | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? Thanks for all of the posts! I love my baby and I know I have nagged him in the past and I am resolved to cut it out. If he doesn't ever do tri's thats ok - I just worry about his health. I have bought him a higher end bike - but he has gotten on it maybe 10 times in a year. I tried the gym membership thing too - he went twice. I should probably mention that he did do 75 miles of the STP last year - ....and hated every minute of it. He also did a 12k with me 2 years ago - ......and hated it. My last tri he showed up 20 mintues after I had crossed the finish line - I know he loves me - he just doesn't "get" my passion for sports. Maybe one day it will rub off on him - either way we are still best friends who love to hang out and do everything together....almost
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| 2008-10-10 11:12 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
Master 1996 Woodbridge , Virginia | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I hear you on that!!! My wife hates everything about the gym and working out. She says I'm obsessive about training and competing in races.. But it's what i like to do(i like the feeling of wow when i'm done)... She does what she likes.. Though she has run some races with me.. so, i guess there is a small break through. The words I would say are "IN TIME" be patient.. try entering his world some time(computers).. may help him enter yours(training). |
| 2008-10-10 2:22 PM in reply to: #1732105 |
Master 1993 Riverside, IL | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I'm going to hop on the "be patient, and he just might come around" bandwagon. I've always been active and "into" exercise...ever since my late teens/early 20's. When I met my hubby in college, he was a total couch potato...skinny guy, but no athletic ability whatsoever. At some point after we were married for a few years, he decided to join my gym. He started running on the treadmill...liked it enough where he would run for like 10 miles on the thing! Then one day, I told him that he should try a spin class with me. Suddenly running took a backseat to spinning...he was hooked in a big way. He always was into casual cycling, but his bike (an old Schwinn 12-spd) was stolen out of our backyard shed years ago, and he never bothered to replace it. Until last spring, that is. When I made the decision to do my first triathlon earlier this year, I needed to buy a road bike. It must have given him the "itch", because a week or so later...he came home with a new Lemond Buenos Aires all-carbon fiber roadbike. Now I can't get him off the thing! LOL We've been riding together on the weekends since May. We've done 2 century rides this season, and are doing another one tomorrow. We never have a plan, we just get up and go...if we feel good, we keep riding...if one of us starts hurtin', we call it a day and head back home. Will he ever be interested in doing a tri? I seriously doubt it. He hates running now. Says it hurts too much, plus he sees all of the pain and injuries that running has caused me over the years and says it's just not worth it. BUT...he has expressed an interest in possibly doing a relay tri...I would swim and run, and he would bike. I'm totally open to that idea. |
| 2008-10-10 2:57 PM in reply to: #1732105 |
Regular 168 Southern Maryland | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I like the gadgets/software idea. I'm a IT guy myself, and all that stuff gets me fired up too. Get him a Garmin 305, heartrate monitor, etc. and show him all the neat graphs he can make out of it. Mmmmm. I'd also suggest you try sweet talking him into going for a ride with you. Then 'reward' him for trying. Rinse, repeat. Quickly he'll get the idea that cycling with you isn't necessarily fun, but the end result is. Then eventually he'll just get excited about the cycling. May take some time, but men are all dogs (self included). |
| 2008-10-10 3:05 PM in reply to: #1732105 |
| Subject: RE: Is there any hope? Start him out easy, say have him pick his nose Just could't help myself, I grin everytime I see your pic Joe |
| 2008-10-10 4:38 PM in reply to: #1732105 |
Master 1790 Tyler, TX | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I'd like for my wife to be physically active, but figure the best way is to not say anything and just stay active myself. I'm happy that she's fairly supportive of my In the last few years she's gotten the urge to try, including a stint or two of swimming, took a Chi walking class (bought the shoes, took the class, but didn't start walking), bought a bike (but has never really ridden it, other than a few short family bike rides), and likes the idea of taking an easy bike tour in France. One of these days I expect she'll decide to start exercising and stick with it. I'd enjoy more of those family bike rides! When people think of exercise as work it's difficult to get started and stick with it. Once it becomes a habit it's easy to continue. There is hope for our spouses, but they need to be inspired from within for it to happen. Brian Edited by famelec 2008-10-10 4:41 PM |
| 2008-10-10 7:22 PM in reply to: #1732105 |
| Veteran 381 | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? He could be a computer addict. Being adddicted to computer games/ programs is a serious problem and him not wanting to exercise is a result of that. I speak of this because I myself used to be and I know many who are still. |
| 2008-10-10 11:33 PM in reply to: #1732105 |
Extreme Veteran 589 Gig Harbor | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? Thats funny that you mention being addicted to computers - we both love computers - we worked together for 5 years doing telecomm - networking, etc. We also played video games for days at a time....oh back in the day - Now we still play but not so much now that I have a 9-5. Maybe I need to spend a little more time with him on the PS2..hmmm..... |
| 2008-10-11 4:07 AM in reply to: #1732105 |
Master 2491 | Subject: RE: Is there any hope? I talked my wife into a new road bike this spring, and it has changed the way she feels about biking, after years on a clunky MTB. She did her first century a couple of weeks ago after never going longer than 30 miles in her life before this year. She does run a bit. Swimming is not in the picture for now, but she'd a lot closer to a tri than she was a couple of years ago when her main thing was step aerobics at the gym. We will be dropping the gym membership when the contract comes up again this year. She's not planning a tri, and I'm not pushing for it, but she's much closer now than she was before. A new toy could help. |
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