Don't Take It Personally

This is sooooooo my problem too.  I hate when people tell me I suck.   But most of the time, it's unfortunately...and probably...the truth.  I suck on the bike.  I suck on the swim.  I need to SUAT on these things...I need to not get mad when Jess tells me my bike fitness sucks or my bike FIT is horrible.  It is.  I'm a lazya$$ for not getting my bike fit done.  I never HAVE gotten mad at this, but sometimes my brain starts coming up with excuses.  Not acceptable. 

This is a super awesome topic.

Some great points.

I think the overwhelming message here is, if you ask for advice or input be prepared for the truth and dont be offended by it.

That's a good observation for a one-on-one type of relationship.  But if you post a question to a large group on the internet, you are likely to get a wide swath of responses from many different personalities.  Some of those may jive with what you "need", others may not.  The variety of opinion & persepective is both the good & the bad you get from the internet.

Another point I would like to add is that responses to questions are almost never intended by the writer to insult or hurt feelings.  A lack of tact-- that may happen, a hard truth--sometimes, an ignorant assumption--its inevitable.  But pure naked meanness, I haven't seen it here (or if it happens, it doesn't survive long before its yanked.)   My point is that BT is like a buffet, you take what you like and leave the rest for someone else.  None of it is actually bad food.

What we do have here is an abundance of interesting stories, frequent ennobling personal triumphs, some sound advice, lots grand humor, and most of all, a place to talk about stuff that bores our significant others to tears.

Unwad the panties.

Let the small stuff slide. 

See you dudes (and dudettes) on the other side.

TW

I agree.  I have hardly ever seen outright "I am being mean, neener" attitude on this board.  Which is why I am still here.

Now, I have asked advice on occasion and on occasion had my hat handed to me.  Sometimes the advice felt very harsh.  But, looked at objectively, it was true advice given from people who wanted to tell me their best OPINION.  

I asked for it - and so, basically, it's not THEIR fault that I didn't like what they said.

Also as The Extreme BOPPER I have really not felt any "snobbishness" or whatever, from FOP people here.  Yes, occasionally, there is someone with an attitude, but usually they get taken down pretty quickly. 

Not sure what you're looking at, but I see paragraphs.

If you're going to be straight talking, at least get it right.

Wow, it looks like "coaching" has become the new "strength training" topic of discussion. That's why I hide out in the strength training forum - we're all a bunch of outcasts over there, which is why we all get along.

Seriously, though, you bring up a good point and is one of the reasons why I would've let my wife spend some money on some coaching. Her swimming form is kind of odd, she desperately needs to raise the seat on her bike, and she needs to put in more training volume. But she won't listen to me and thinks I'm just being critical if I try to give her advice. If she had to pay a coach, she would listen. And while a coach won't get her on the podium, fixing technique and form problems would, IMO, make training and racing more enjoyable for her and reduce the chances of injury.

Not to hijack, but I'm firmly convinced a husband has never actually conviced a wife of anything.  Tell a buddy what you know and she will think he is a genious and why couldn't you be more like him.

As the guy who likes to give the STFU and listen speach, most people think I'm just mean.  I'm just misunderstood; sniff. 

Here's what I like:

People who ask for opinions that don't really want them.

Nice job of summing up, Jess...

Nancy's point is a good one: a good coach gives his or her athlete what they need, not what they think they should need. Some folks need their @sses kicked, others need them gently prodded.

(yeah...i noticed...)

I was in the Marines, and have a lot of experince with being told to HTFU, although in much more harsh words than that. One day I was late, for a very legitimate reason, but when trying to explain why, was told to stop making excuses before I got two words out. I was angry for about 3 months regarding that, but one day, saw the reasoning behind it. Really what it came down to was that I was told to be somewhere at a specific time, and I failed to do it. Doesn't matter what the reason behind it is. Same thing with coaching or training type of advice. We tend to say things as matter of fact, rather than take unique circumstances into account. If your told you have bad running form, then you have bad running form. Doesn't matter why. If you are told to lose weight, then lose weight, stop making excuses for being over weight. The bottom line is that nobody here should expect to have their hands held when soliciting advice. The title of this post is dead on accurate, and is pretty much the only advice new marines need in order to survive boot camp.. don't take it personally. 

Of course we are not in the Marine Corps here. I know that. Thing is though, there is a certain amount of respect you must pay this, or any sport. The sports themselves owe you nothing, however, you owe the sport, your best attempt at honoring the accomplishment that it really is. If that means you need to be told some pretty harsh things along your journey, then that's what it means. In a way, coaches are like Drill Instructors, only usually more civil.

He was right about the rambling stream-of-consciousness.  Maybe a better suggestion would be to put a blank line between the paragraphs. 

 Coaching threads are the new strength training threads it seems

Even back in my good ol Army training days,, yelling at me did nothing to motivate me, but tell me I can't do something and boom I'm incredibly focused. Of course I realize that this only can occur with 1-1 coaching and even then it's going to take that particular individual to either notice that what they are saying is not generating the desired results or them listening to me say what has worked best for me in the past.

As I used to say when I used to  go to big shot meetings.  "don't ask me a question if your not ready to hear my answer," or my other favorite  "i'm the consultant. I'm going to be fired eventually, if you want someone to agree with you find one of your middle managers" 

Thank you for your perspective.  

I'm going to be laughing all day over this one. And I forgot to point out that he told me it was the worst thing he had ever seen IN FRONT OF A MILLION PEOPLE.  

Not to Hijack Jess' post, but does anyone think this might have something to do with us starting to ramp up our training and coming to the realization that the season is upon us?

I know I'm getting antsy...

Just a thought.

HTFU, ya wee little girl. 

Only on BT can we start with a "unwad your panties and HTFU" and turn it into a grammar debate

Well, I think instead of my "stream of consciousness" blabfest I could have just said "February Sucks" and been just as accurate. February eats at people's souls.