Trying to rejoin the club?

So... I'm a former clyde in my 3rd season of tris. When I started training I was around 230lbs and competed in my first season as a clyde. I decided before my 2nd season that I'd drop the weight and race in my AG. I've always been a pretty muscular guy, but had a nice spare tire. So I figured it would do me good to cut some fat, and just get to down to a good lean weight below 200.

Well, I'm in season 3 now and my weight is down to around 185. Great you say? Sure... I feel overall healthier, and my performance in all three sports has increased considerably. I'm doing fairly well in my AG, and I'm on track for my HIM in September.

Now... the vanity stuff kicks in. I was at the gym last night, and was going to do my once weekly workout (which sucks because I used to spend hours lifting). I had an old T-Shirt from my muscular days, and had a weird moment where I almost didn't recognize myself in the mirror. I looked really skinny... not the good skinny. I noticed my arms were really small, and I could see my shoulder bones. I haven't seen my shoulder bones since high school.

Anyways...  I got to thinking. Has all the muscle mass loss been worth it? My wife hates the fact that I lost my muscle mass, but understands it's part of the tri gig. So I started thinking, what if I focused on lifting again and moved back into the clyde club? Would I be able to take in enough good calories to put on a good 15lbs over the next few months?

Anyone having second thoughts about getting out of the clyde club? Anyone gone to the dark side and back? Just curious to see if I'm just crazy.

You know, you are NOT doing this for a living - it's for fun and fitness right?

So - if you want to gain some muscle weight to "look better" - go for it.  Yeah, you know you'll probably be slower (especially on the run) but it's really up to you what you want  your end result to be.