Dating question

Married input. To me the most important part of a relationship is friends first. The fact he is interested in something you care about could be a great foundation. Too many spouces get "widowed" on the weekends because they don't care enough to do the same things as there partners (IE watch 12 hrs of football etc.)

The only thing that I feel cautious about is are you competing with each other to win or share in each others glory. Compitition is great but not when your feelings get hurt.

Good luck. Joe

I think you need to probe WHY you're having this reaction. If you're like SOME people I know, you're merely looking for an excuse to run away from anything that looks like a relationship for any handy reason. But then again, maybe he IS smothering you. Once you know which one is your problem, you know whether to work from your end or to tell him to find his own damn hobby.

This statement: "In a way I like to have a partner to do my workouts with but in the same respect, I feel like "hey, this is my thing, find your own"" makes me wonder if you like being admired for being a triathlete (hey, who doesn't?) and maybe feel like he's taking away what 'sets you apart'. Maybe way off base, but a possibility. And might I add, a completely natural thought. When some friends of mine all told me they wanted to do a tri, I had this instant gut-reaction of "Hey! I'm the triathlete around here. Not you guys!" Like if they accomplished it, it would somehow undermine what I had accomplished. Which was lame, of course.  And once I realized it, I called myself on it and now I'm really stoked that they're into tris.

You all have been great in your advice.  I think my biggest problem is that I have finally found something that I love and am relatively good at (pat on back) and in past relationships when this happened I wasn't encouraged or supported.  I'm trying like hell not to compare past relationships with this one, but sometimes it's easier said than done.

This guy is really really great and I definately want to make a go of it.  I pretty much just need to get over myself and move on.  I'm just getting back into the dating thing so the road is kinda rocky and I'm trying out my navigating skills while at the same time trying to remain from getting hurt again.  WHATEVER!!

Thanks again and I can't wait to see where this goes.  I'll keep you posted!

xoxo

Shauna

Oh mah garsh!!  That was you?!?!?!?!  Ha, you were such a ner...OK I'm just kidding.

FIN...trust your gut.