login
People who give you (unsolicited) feedback....
-
No new posts
 2005-03-14 4:45 PM |
Elite Veteran 1817    Cedar Rapids, Iowa |  Subject: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback....OK, here's one for you. How do you guys deal with people who offer you their (unwanted, OK, let's just say it, stupid) opinion that you are "obsessive" about what you eat because it takes a little more effort than unwrapping a Big Mac? Or another thing I have to deal with is someone giving me their opinion of what I eat WHILE I'M EATING IT. Obviously these are co-workers, and there's no avoiding them. I am not someone who goes around announcing "OK, everybody, I'm getting ready to eat some tofu now, come watch me". I know these are people who don't care about the same things I care about, so I don't go around telling them they should stop eating what they are eating because their asses are getting big, but it seems to be OK for them to announce while I'm eating that I should eat more, and am I anorexic? Good grief. I mostly just politely ignore. |
| 2005-03-14 5:08 PM in reply to: #129757 |
Buttercup 14334   | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I might ask the pushy person "Why do my food choices get your panties in a bunch?" But that's just me. |
| 2005-03-14 5:59 PM in reply to: #129771 |
Elite Veteran 748 northern Illinois | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I just say, "Thanks, I'm happy with my diet." With the right tone of voice, it's clear that you're really not accepting input today  Andrea |
| 2005-03-14 6:38 PM in reply to: #129757 |
| New user 723 | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... Bore them with every fact about eating fatty foods. They won't stand there and take the criticism and definitley think twice about bothering you about it. |
| 2005-03-14 9:56 PM in reply to: #129757 |
| Member 267 | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... Ummm, are you looking a little too thin? Just wondering, since you mention the fact that they seem to hound you alot and go as far as calling you anorexic. Maybe, they have genuine concern, but it is easier to poke fun than have a serious conversation. I eat pretty healthy at work, and honestly it seems to catch on and not the other way around. |
| 2005-03-15 9:47 AM in reply to: #129934 |
| Elite Veteran 1817 Cedar Rapids, Iowa | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... No No, not at all! I am 5'5" and weigh 125-128. However, I am by far the thinnest person at work. I live in the Midwest and being overweight is kind of an epidemic here. I think it is kind of along the lines of when one spouse goes on a diet and the other one tries to sabotage it. I suspect there is the same kind of (perhaps subconsious?) resentment watching someone do something that you should / could / want to do for yourself but for whatever reason are not doing. Which I can be understanding of 99% of the time, but when someone comes into my private office, sees me drinking some juice which just happens to be green (bolthouse farms green goodness - YUMMY!) and says "oh my god, what kind of crap is that you're drinking"? - it pretty much makes me want to slug them. But I've gotten a lot of good feed back (thanks everybody) so I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and hope, like you said that maybe it might spark something in someone else. |
| 2005-03-15 10:27 AM in reply to: #129757 |
Expert 941 WA | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... ohhh, tania, that stinks! what is this country coming to if they think you're anorexic at your height/weight? (i'm about the same, but AA is a pretty fit town so i don't get much flak). Just say, "well, i'd like to be alive when i'm 80." maybe that will shut them up. and btw - i LOVE green juice! haha. bolthouse farms is yummy, you should also try Odwalla brand too, i love green machine i think it's called. you can get it at trader joe's. |
| 2005-03-16 9:01 PM in reply to: #129757 |
| Member 267 | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... Don't sweat them then girl. When they are keeling over of Big Mac Attacks you can be the healthy one living life to the fullest! |
| 2005-03-16 9:18 PM in reply to: #129757 |
| Regular 80 | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I ran into the same thing in high school at the same height and weight. People I barely knew coming up to me and either saying I was anorexic or that I was on speed. *eyeroll* I was far from anorexia, since I ate 6 meals & snacks a day...AT LEAST! I was very active and overall made pretty healthy eating choices (oh for those days again!). I was very, very lean and mainly solid muscle, so I did seem "small". I pretty much learned to either put it back into their court, "Why do you ask?" or pretend like they weren't even there...for instance not responding to their questions or even acknowledging them. It worked pretty well and eventually the nonsense stopped. When they ask about your juice, you can smile sweetly and say..."Why do you ask?" and look like you expect an answer. Maybe they can examine their own motives for being so nasty and ignorant. Diana |
| 2005-03-16 10:24 PM in reply to: #129757 |
Veteran 300 Peoria AZ | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I got the old guess what so and so said about you from a co-worker the other day...she went on to tell me that somebody had mentioned to her that I was getting to thin and that my head was starting to look to big for my body. I told her to tell that person that at least my arse wasn't 2x bigger than my head. Did I over react? LOL Of course. Then you have those people who tend to comment that "was that you I saw JOGGING during break". I offer them a one time chance to keep up with me for a sub 7 min mile pace for 3 miles...then try and call it JOGGING again. And once and for all it's called a TRI athlon not a MARA thon...is it that hard to remember the difference? Sorry, I just had to rant too! |
| 2005-03-16 11:02 PM in reply to: #129757 |
Elite 3498 Chicago | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... Can I just tell everyone something? We are triathletes, which mean we live on the fringe of society. Because of this we are different from most people and you really must learn to deal with it because it will not go away. Unfortunately you can't change the way people act, you can only change the way you act. If you feel that you must have a comeback for the constant (and believe me it's CONSTANT) beragement (sp?) from co-workers/friends...whenever they say something you don't like or find offensive just look at them and say "It sucks to be you doesn't it." However, that's not my recommended approach. Just like the demons that surface during a race, you deal with these people the same way, just "suck it up and drive on soilder" Just my $0.02 from years of experience of living on the fringe... Edited by Steve- 2005-03-16 11:03 PM |
| 2005-03-16 11:24 PM in reply to: #129757 |
Extreme Veteran 401 Texas | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I generally eat pretty well, but I get more comments when seen with a candy bar. Like "Are you really gonna eat that whole thing, aren't you training?" And I tell them Yes, I workout all the time so I can eat whatever I want to. I'm kind of hoping it will get those people at work to start thinking a little bit more about excercising and a little less about Atkins. |
| 2005-03-17 8:28 AM in reply to: #129757 |
Champion 4902 Ottawa, Ontario | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I could not care less about what other people think about my diet or anything else! If I did, I would not be a happy "camper"! Hey, I often have people ask me how come I train so much yet I am so fat! At 6 feet and 225 lbs, I am not slim, even though I am the oldest guy at work and the fittest ... so I take it all with a grain of salt. A good retort would be: "yeah, I'm old and fat but I'll probably be doing a triathlon when your widow is attending your funeral ... bonehead!" |
| 2005-03-17 10:37 AM in reply to: #130856 |
| Elite Veteran 1817 Cedar Rapids, Iowa | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I think you hit it exactly Steve - we are 1 percenters, right? We are in a very select group, and I'm just going to think about that next time someone annoys me (and scoll down the very AWSOME list of comebacks provided here, secretly in my head, to amuse myself until they stop speaking). You guys ROCK. |
| 2005-03-17 1:56 PM in reply to: #129757 |
New user 149 Westchester County, NY | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I get flack because what I eat is "weird"......although sometimes I get the "ooh, that looks good. What is it?" and they are taken aback when I tell them homemade whole wheat mac and soy cheese. Then they bug out and deny that thye had any interest. I know they were drooling over my scrumptious mac and cheese! I personally don't care. My husband loves my "weird" food. He gets excited at the site of a whole wheat mac and soy cheese casserole bubbling in the oven. He sends me emails about it while he's at work. Everyone else can bite. |
| 2005-03-17 2:10 PM in reply to: #131072 |
Buttercup 14334 | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... My favorite reply when anyone questions what I'm doing/eating/whatever: "Oh, is it your day to watch me?" said with a big smile. |
| 2005-03-17 5:19 PM in reply to: #131078 |
| Philadelphia, south of New York and north of DC | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... Is there such a thing as being aggressively defensive? If they're feeling bad about themselves and their life, maybe they're attacking you before you have a chance to attack them (not that you would). But, it could be that you'll end up being an inspiration to someone. Mother Teresa said something like "you must save the world one person at a time". Who knows what effect your example will have on someone. Maybe tonight they'll go home and feed their kids a piece of fruit instead of a cookie. And that could be the start of a life change in that family that may take years to fully develope. You never know. Edited by dontracy 2005-03-17 5:23 PM |
| 2005-03-17 9:40 PM in reply to: #129757 |
| Member 267 | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... I am glad I dont work/live around people like you guys. I have never had anything but women telling me I look good and my buddies/co-workers commenting that I am getting in better shape. Maybe it is because I spend alot of time around military bases and most of my coworkers and buddies are former military. So we generally know what it is like to look and feel in shape. |
| 2005-03-18 10:00 AM in reply to: #129757 |
| Elite Veteran 1817 Cedar Rapids, Iowa | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... It can be challenging, but that's where the growth opportunities come in. I wouldn't want to live in a world where everyone looks, thinks, acts like I do. I would get too comfortable, and not know how to deal with people who challenge my perspectives. If I don't get challenged, I don't know whether to hold on, or look at a change. It can be kind of upsetting at times, but that's how we learn who we really are. That's why these groups are so awesome. Everyone likes a little validation now and then when it seems like the world is ganging up on us! |
| 2005-03-21 10:19 PM in reply to: #131072 |
Master 1927 Chicago | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... alanna_bologna - 2005-03-17 11:56 AM a whole wheat mac and soy cheese casserole bubbling in the oven. Wow, I've had to give up the ole' Southern favorite macaroni and cheese - WAY TOOO MANY CALORIES. But you just sparked something in me. Got the recipe? PM me please! Will Fat free cheese do for soy? |
| 2005-03-22 9:43 AM in reply to: #129757 |
Master 1249 Lexington, Kentucky | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... State the obvious. Look them in the eye and say "That's very rude." Say nothing more. |
| 2005-03-23 9:48 AM in reply to: #129757 |
Champion 11641 Fairport, NY | Subject: RE: People who give you (unsolicited) feedback.... My response to anyone who makes a similar comment about my diet or training: Look 'em in the eye, give a little smile and say "You would not believe what this diet/training plan has done for my sex life." Their derisive comments will be replaced with wistful stares. |
|
|
|
View profile
Add to friends
Go to training log
Go to race log
Send a message
View album
CONNECT WITH FACEBOOK