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2005-05-10 8:33 AM

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Lake Mary Florida
Subject: Any single parents?


2005-05-10 8:42 AM
in reply to: #155267

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Lake Mary Florida
Subject: RE: Any single parents?
Oops sorry hit enter instead of tab!

Ok I will try again. Is there any other single parents out there? I am a single Mum with 2 lovely teenagers (13 and 15). I make a good living, and I get child support and I am a great budgeter. However as a single parent I often find I just don't have enough. I finally managed to buy a house this past year, but that plus my car and bills is too much.I often feel guilty about all the things I can not do for my kids. My kids are very understanding and never ask for what they don't need. I am lucky. Anyway I am thinking of getting a part time job on top of my full time job to help make ends meet. It would just be for the summer as durring the school year one of my daughters needs much to much homework help to make that feasible. I am just so stressed all the time from being behind on bills.

So I was wondering what other single parents out there are doing to make it work. I spoke to a friend of mine and she joked that I should just meet a man, fall in love, get married and share expences. Seems a little far fetched to me though.

Have a great day.
Sarah
2005-05-10 10:13 AM
in reply to: #155267

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Subject: RE: Any single parents?
I am not, nor ever have been, a single parent, but I have raised 2 kids who are now 23 and 28. I can tell you from experience that spending time with your kids is way more valuable than any amount of money you can throw at them. Kids learn to adjust to the economic situation around them, and do it without complaining if it's obvious that Mom and/or Dad love them enough to want them in their daily lives. There is nothing worse than a parent who gives his/her kids money and sends them off to the mall as a convenient baby sitter. Get your kids involved in the same things that you like. Swimming, running and biking are all great activities and teach them more valuable lessons than they get from Play Station. Life isn't always viewed through rose-colored glasses, and when they see that Mom and/or Dad gets along just fine despite a few economic hardships, it builds their character too.

Decide what's most important in your life and channel your energies into that. And if you get married, do it for love and not economics...kids see through that right away!

Oh...BTW, a lot of the answer to your question is in your signature line!

Edited by max 2005-05-10 10:16 AM
2005-05-10 10:52 AM
in reply to: #155267

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Subject: RE: Any single parents?
I do not have kids, but my father died when I was 11.
My mom raised me and my brother as a single parent. She did not have a career, she barely made it every month. I have no idea how she managed. We didn't have the nice things my friends had, but she managed to give us a roof, food, education, and the MOST important: a loving, caring, nuturing environment to grow up.
Yes, we complained as kids
Yes, we were sad we didn't have a lot of stuff... but at the end it was that, stuff.
Now I am a grounded (I like to believe), professional woman that would not change her mom for anything in the world. I am so proud of her.
You will be ok....
2005-05-10 10:58 AM
in reply to: #155267

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Lake Mary Florida
Subject: RE: Any single parents?
Thanks Max, I agree with you 100%. I would not worry about me being tempted to marry for money. I was just trying to interject some humour there. I would not want anyone to think I would ever really do that. I would also never sacrifice time with them. That is why I am conflicted. I need to buy them new beds, replace my furnace, and other stuff like that. Other things would go first. Way before time with them.

2005-05-10 12:18 PM
in reply to: #155269

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Subject: RE: Any single parents?
I am not a single parent, I'm not even a parent. But whatever you are doing must be right, because of how your children are, how they are very understanding and not asking for anything they don't need. You are definitely an inspiration and I do admire how successful you are with job, life, house with the situation you are in.

Personally, I would try to do the little things first and you probably do these things already but, for example, changing the bulbs to florescent, or shopping with coupons, or cutting the eating out, or using public transportation or riding a bike to work instead of spending gas money, selling the old junk in a garage sale. The small things. It will all add up eventually.

Then I would look into things like financial stuff, like taking advantage of a credit card which gives you cash back, or making sure you have your money in a decent saving account (like Orange has a saving account that gives 3% interest I believe), or cutting back on your 401K up to the point where your job matches, to get some more income. Maybe changing your dependents on your w-2 to a higher # so you can get more money back per month because it will even off at the end because of your tax interest write offs from your new house. Stuff like that.

Doing many of the things above can probably bring in hundreds of dollars more per month and that may be all you need.

And if nothing else works or you have pretty maximized your other options, then I guess a part time job is in order. That would be my last resort though.


2005-05-10 12:26 PM
in reply to: #155267

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Lake Mary Florida
Subject: RE: Any single parents?
Thanks everyone. Great advice! I like this site. The people here are so supportive.

I should be thankfull, because everytime I get stressed I go running. So theoretically, if I did not have money problems I might be a couch potatoe!
2005-05-10 3:04 PM
in reply to: #155267

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Subject: RE: Any single parents?

I had been a single parent of three boys for several years.  The teenage years are financially tight, I think, for even two working parent households.  So it might help to know that you are not alone in pinching the pennies.  Are your children able to babysit, walk dogs, or mow lawns?  I found my kids enjoy making their own money and they become more economically conscientious with their own money.  One of my kids loved shopping at thrift stores, the others would not dream of it.   Do what you can and above all, give them your time and love and your children will be richer by far.



Edited by zagagirl 2005-05-10 3:05 PM
2005-05-11 4:47 PM
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Subject: RE: Any single parents?
Hi Sarah, I noticed your post on the "Introduce Yourself" forum and sent you a PM earlier. There is a great resource for triathletes in the Ottawa area, and you can find their website at "TriRudy.com". This is a large community of endurance athletes around Ottawa, and the site is full of information about races, training sessions and social activities. It might be just what you need to help with the stress of being a single parent with teenagers.

Cheers
DaveH
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