He or She : How embarressing would this be? (Page 3)

gir1with1nose - 2009-08-21 12:54 PM Middlesex is one of my favorite books

bootygirl - 2009-08-21 1:15 PM

 

She should do something out of her norm to satisify a cultural norm of another race just because she is going to be your TV as a runer? 

 

KSH - 2009-08-21 2:38 PM Hey, an 18 year old girl who is about to be on TV... can wax.

Slugger - 2009-08-24 2:59 AM


Wow. Just, wow. You're telling me that you are about to do, I dunno, let's say an IM, and you care in the LEAST what you look like? Oh, but what if there are cameras there and they catch you? Do you stop and do your hair before the finish line where you KNOW there will be cameras trained specifically on YOU?

Chick wasn't going on TV for her looks. She was going to a race to win.

Seriously, some people just aren't that shallow concerned with their looks.


This post brought to you by someone who was mistaken for and teased mercilessly about looking like a boy, and who married a female who didn't care one whit that she had facial hair (even *gasp* when she was dating boys!), and she is a good little white American girl.

AcesFull - 2009-08-24 10:00 AM

This isn't about value judgments, although you are right, people judge people on factors unrelated to what is really important.  This is about the possibility that she is not what she believes herself to be.  NOBODY should be putting her down for her looks or her choices (and I know they are), but if there is a reasonable chance that she is genetically male, then she should be assessed.  If she is what she believes herself to be, then everyone should STFU, train harder, and try to kick her arse the next race.  If she turns out to be male, I suspect it will be devastating, and she's going to need a lot of support to cope with the revelation.

Machiavelo - 2009-08-21 3:06 PM

 poor dear.

eabeam - 2009-08-24 10:10 AM We need to put things out of our perspective and into those of others.


1. I don't know the SES of a runner of that caliber in South Africa, but in many countries, primping to western standards falls somewhere far behind getting enough to eat, having shelter over your head, and clothing that protects you from the elements.  Even if she is well taken care of now, I don't know her family's history. Remember in many parts of the world, anything more than one full meal a day makes you stinkin' rich.

2. When my wife was a student at Syracuse, she was the person (as an international herself) that had to tell the international students that they had five days to prove to her that they could speak English well enough to keep their teaching assistantships. During that week, she would also drop helpful hints like, "Showering once a week in the summer is not considered enough here" or "this is called deoderant"... Mind you, these were educated graduate students with the finances to study at a private American university.

With that perspective in mind, where does upper-lip waxing really fall?

bootygirl - 2009-08-24 11:46 AM

well said.  When I lived in Africa, I certainly saw no African cultural issue with body hair or some of the other things we worry about.  I had to bring enough personal care items with me for the time I was staying, or pay through the nose for them from a French store catering to expats.  However, the ladies there all thought I dressed rather shabily and like a man (basic expat geologist khakis and t-shirts).  For social occassions, I did try to bump it up a notch.

This woman was born black in South Africa during Apartheid.  She was about 5 when apartheid ended.  From reading accounts and listening to personal acquaintences, I have been told that being a woman was as limiting than being Black during this time. 

KSH - 2009-08-24 7:56 AM

Well actually... I DID fix my hair about a mile out from my IM finish. Of course, I'm very slow and I had time to do it.

I also made sure to wash all the salt stains off my tri suit so they wouldn't be in the picture.

If you don't want to do any of the above, so be it. That's your choice.

jneugeba - 2009-08-24 1:39 PM


Based on your responses in this thread, I'm not at all surprised.




You say this, but yet you critized her because she didn't wax or do other things to make her pretier. Which is it, do you want everyone in the world to live up to your beauty standards or is it ok to have curtural differences?

KSH - 2009-08-24 3:09 PM Well I am very sorry. If it's common for African women to have mustache and to be proud of it... then no she should not wax. I just thought that in most cultures women do not like having a mustache. I was wrong. Anyways, I'm vain. I won't deny it. I care about my looks. While I'm NOT perfect (shoot, I have a physical handicap with my eyes)... I try my best to be presentable to society.