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2010-03-10 8:33 PM

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Subject: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
I found this and couln't help but post the 70 facts about him. He just keeps kicking as he gets older.
http://www.asylum.com/2010/03/10/chuck-norris-turns-70-we-present-a-norris-fact-for-every--ki/

Edited by scotty930 2010-03-10 8:50 PM


2010-03-10 9:10 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
70 turned Chuck Norris.
2010-03-10 9:53 PM
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Iron Donkey
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
The Chuck Norris page was funny, but the Maxim's Girls in Tubs was great eye candy.
2010-03-11 7:37 AM
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Supersonicus Idioticus
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
... and yet he still can round house kick to epic proportions.
2010-03-12 11:22 AM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...

Website restricted for me. If these weren't on there, then here you go!

1. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

2. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

3. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.

4. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than death can process them.

5. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

6. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

7. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

8. A cobra once bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

9. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

10. The most honourable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bullet-proof.

2010-03-12 12:35 PM
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Champion
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.

The Grim Reaper is afraid to tell him.


2010-03-12 12:42 PM
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Champion
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
rumor has it, his stache is only 68
2010-03-12 1:10 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
When Chuck Norris falls into the water he dosen't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
2010-03-12 1:17 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...

These are my two favorites:

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

After hearing of Lance Armstrong's bout with testicular cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his testicles to Lance.  Lance went on to win 7 Tours.  Chuck Norris still has two testicles.  We are unsure if he re-grew his donated testi, or if he had three to begin with.  We are too afraid to ask.

2010-03-12 4:25 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
meherczeg - 2010-03-12 10:35 AM Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.

The Grim Reaper is afraid to tell him.



ROFL!  Hadn't heard this one before.  Win!
2010-03-12 4:27 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
Tripolar - 2010-03-12 5:25 PM
meherczeg - 2010-03-12 10:35 AM Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.

The Grim Reaper is afraid to tell him.



ROFL!  Hadn't heard this one before.  Win!


It was a friend's FB status the other day, I nearly died when I read it.


2010-03-12 4:40 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
My personal favorite

Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands, now they're just called the Islands.
2010-03-12 8:04 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
I love how Chuck Norris was actually kind of p!ssed off about the "Facts" when they were new, and then came around after realizing he couldn't stop them. My favorite:

Unbeknownst to most Biblical scholars, Chuck Norris was actually the fourth wise man. He gave the Baby Jesus the gift of Beard. Jesus loved the gift and wore it proudly to his dying day. The other wise men, jealous that their gifts were less well received, conspired to have Chuck Norris written out of the Bible. Shortly thereafter, they each died of roundhouse-kick-related injuries. 
2010-03-13 3:18 PM
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Subject: RE: Chuck Norris Turns 70...
My favs...

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.  Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris's hand beats a Royal Flush.

Edited by Indiana_Geoff 2010-03-13 3:18 PM
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