I need help checking my self. Co-parenting with the EX (Page 2)

Big Appa - 2010-07-09 7:22 AM

Thank you everyone for you replies.


For the most part the kids are doing good and are dealing with the situation well. The real root of the problem in my opinion is my EX wants to control everything. She works from home and I don’t so I agreed to have the kids stay with her and go to school by her because she has more free time during the day then I have. So she has the majority of the time with the kids, takes them to school, and the house. In her words the kids lives are with her and I am just a visitor and she wants it this way. She is an A type personality who is very smart and is use to being in control so any time things do not go to her plan she freaks out. When she freaks out she reverts and turns to insults and just really trying to be mean to try to bully me into backing down so she can get her way.

 I am always polite but firm. I am working on almost acting with out emotion when I interact with her but this can be hard when dealing with a person who really does not care about being rational. I really do not want to fight for the sake of fighting and I really try to be fair even when it is not in my best interest but I am no longer her floor mat. I posted my situation because I really do want us to be able to co-parent and get along. Because of this when ever there is a possibility that I think I am being petty or unreasonable I always try to check my self to see. I guess it is a part of the whole trying to be a positive roll model for the kids. Being an mature adult sucks some times

Big Appa - 2010-07-15 2:53 PM

**Update**

 

So Sunday was our switch day and I was informed I was not going to get the kids till our court date on Tuesday. A bunch of drama happened but in the end the judge said she can’t keep the kids from me so I got them back Tuesday afternoon. A bunch of drama happened and my daughter told me my ex was heavily bad mouthing me. The reason she told me was because she did not agree with it and said some very grown up things for an 8 year old. I told my kids that I never want to bad mouth mommy and if I ever say anything bad or something they do not like to tell me right away so I can stop.

 For the doctors appointment in the end she accepted my offer of her picking up from my place and I pick her up from the doctors.

 We have another court date Aug 9^th and the ex is trying to get my weekdays taken away during the summers and limit me from 3-4 days a week and every other weekend to 1 day a week and every other weekend during the school year. So now I’m now I’m trying to relax and prepare for court. Wish me luck

D.K. - 2010-07-15 12:40 PMDoes your daughter has any say to the court case? 
Has anyone interviewed her about how she feels about mommy and daddy? 
What would the judge do if you daughter tells them "mommy is always saying bad things about daddy, and I don't like it.  Daddy is not like that..."

briderdt - 2010-07-16 10:24 AM

The sad thing is that our court system is geared toward screwing over the dads.

In my divorce with kid, we had already agreed on a week-on/week-off schedule with my daughter, and it was working quite well. That was before the actual divorce proceedings, while we were separated. Once the paperwork started flying, she decided she was going for full custody. A guardian ad litem was agreed on, and she did her investigation... And in her report, she says that there were no findings EITHER WAY as to whom was the better parent, and so... get this!... her recommendation was to go just a little beyond the "standard" of one day plus every other weekend!

Regardless of the already agreed on schedule, the guardian ad litem's going-in position was "one day plus every other weekend". I got totally screwed. And the legal system is completely geared toward "unless she's doing something aggregiously illegal, she gets everything".

I'd recommend checking into a local "dad's rights" organization.

ballyard7 - 2010-07-16 10:08 AM

You guys are falling into something I have seen a lot.  You are making this Dr. Appt about you.  Isn't it your daughter that is going to get a filling.  How do you think she is going to feel knowing that her dr. appt caused this huge fight.  Why does it matter who takes her to the appt?  She is getting dental work done and she wants your ex to take her....You need to give in a little especially since it's what your daughter wants.