Other Resources My Cup of Joe » What would you guys do? Rss Feed  
Moderators: k9car363, the bear, DerekL, alicefoeller Reply
2011-01-06 2:34 PM

User image

Extreme Veteran
462
1001001001002525
Auckland, NZ
Subject: What would you guys do?

Hey all. Two girlfriends of mine are getting married to each other today. It's a special day, a milestone for them and they've been planning and arranging their wedding for a really long time. I'm invited to go, and am really excited.

BUT, I'm as sick as a dog, barking like one with a horrific chesty cough and feeling utterly under the weather. I'm desperate to see my friends get married, but don't like the concept of hacking all through the ceremony and speeches, and hate even more the thought of making anyone else sick.

Wondering if I can just hover quietly in the back, or if my coughing will be the equivalent of the screaming baby soundtrack....

What would y'all do?



2011-01-06 2:37 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Champion
10668
500050005001002525
Tacoma, Washington
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
I skipped a family memorial service this past Sunday for the same reason. I understand the regrets, but I think you'd regret more if you passed on any sickness to others.
2011-01-06 2:37 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Champion
10018
50005000
, Minnesota
Bronze member
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?

I wouldn't go.

But I would make sure to call them, let them know why, and wish them the best of luck.  You have the rest of their lives together to celebrate their union.

2011-01-06 2:43 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Master
1736
100050010010025
Midcoast Maine
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
BikerGrrrl has a good point...let them know and offer to celebrate it with both of them when you are feeling better.
2011-01-06 2:45 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Expert
3126
2000100010025
Boise, ID
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?

I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.

2011-01-06 2:52 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Champion
16151
50005000500010001002525
Checkin' out the podium girls
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Codeine works the best. Not sure if you need a prescription for it in NZ, but here in the US you do. I've suffered through my share of bronchitis and lung congestion and know what you're going through. Not fun anytime.

Maybe ditch the reception and after parties. Show for the ceremony, then split. I did this with a 102fever once. Regretted missing the fun, but did go.


2011-01-06 3:04 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Champion
4942
2000200050010010010010025
Richmond, VA
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?

I say make an appearance, but a short/brief one.  How would you feel if your friends honeymoon was spent sick as dogs?

It is simple, part of your wedding present to them is wishing them "good health" and that starts by not getting them sick!

2011-01-06 4:00 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Master
1903
1000500100100100100
Portland, Oregon
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
I would heavily medicate and go for just the ceremony, extending my congratulations from an armslength away. I'd also stay at the back in case I had to head out.  To me it's a milestone that I wouldn't want to miss, even if I couldn't stay for the whole thing.
2011-01-06 4:04 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Master
1929
100050010010010010025
Midlothian, VA
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Talk to the couple about it!  How they feel about it will mean a lot.

Perhaps you could hover out on the fringe, in the lobby etc to not spread noise and nasties but still be present.  If you manage to suppress the cough, you could wear a mask.

However you might handle it, definitely check with them.  If you are close there is a good chance they will WANT you there if you can be.

-eric 
2011-01-06 4:08 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Member
181
100252525
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Stay long enough for the "I do's" and then take your leave.  

This may be a poor comparison but.......

My friends father just passed not too long ago and I myself was in the early stages of recovering from a broken femur from a motor/bike accident.  I went to the service long enough to pay my respects and share my condolences.  Literally there about fifteen minutes, I'm sure less.  Made my way back to my bother's Suburban and he drove me home.  Went back to bed for the rest of the day.  I remember with a haze (medicated) his wife and he calling me up and thanking me for making every effort to go.  They were touched and I was humbled that in their time of mourning they called me......just can't figure it out some times.

Respectfully,

-J 
2011-01-06 4:11 PM
in reply to: #3282804

User image

Master
1366
10001001001002525
PNW
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Aarondb4 - 2011-01-06 12:45 PM
I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.



This.

I was too sick to attend a friend's wedding once (I was throwing up...no WAY I was attending) and she never forgave me.  I even called and let her know that morning that I wasn't going to be there.  I don't think she believed me.

We are no longer friends (there were other reasons...but I think she never got over this).


2011-01-06 4:49 PM
in reply to: #3283028

User image

Champion
10018
50005000
, Minnesota
Bronze member
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?

This surprises me.  If I was the one getting married, I would say "hey, I totally understand, thanks for not infecting my friends".   A negative response is paranoia on the part of the ditched (unless you have a history...) and no loss.

In fact, I would understand if they were peeved by the disruption of coughing or worry about spreading the illness.   If you do, I like the face mask idea and don't touch anyone/thing.

I stand by my advice, but I can see that is not the consensus.

I like the idea of calling them the best - why guess at this? 

GLC1968 - 2011-01-06 4:11 PM
Aarondb4 - 2011-01-06 12:45 PM
I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.



This.

I was too sick to attend a friend's wedding once (I was throwing up...no WAY I was attending) and she never forgave me.  I even called and let her know that morning that I wasn't going to be there.  I don't think she believed me.

We are no longer friends (there were other reasons...but I think she never got over this).

2011-01-06 5:02 PM
in reply to: #3283001

User image

Veteran
478
100100100100252525
Chicago Area
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
ell-in-or - 2011-01-06 4:00 PM I would heavily medicate and go for just the ceremony, extending my congratulations from an armslength away. I'd also stay at the back in case I had to head out.  To me it's a milestone that I wouldn't want to miss, even if I couldn't stay for the whole thing.

X2
2011-01-06 5:11 PM
in reply to: #3283103

User image

Master
1366
10001001001002525
PNW
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
BikerGrrrl - 2011-01-06 2:49 PM

This surprises me.  If I was the one getting married, I would say "hey, I totally understand, thanks for not infecting my friends".   A negative response is paranoia on the part of the ditched (unless you have a history...) and no loss.

In fact, I would understand if they were peeved by the disruption of coughing or worry about spreading the illness.   If you do, I like the face mask idea and don't touch anyone/thing.

I stand by my advice, but I can see that is not the consensus.

I like the idea of calling them the best - why guess at this? 

GLC1968 - 2011-01-06 4:11 PM
Aarondb4 - 2011-01-06 12:45 PM
I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.



This.

I was too sick to attend a friend's wedding once (I was throwing up...no WAY I was attending) and she never forgave me.  I even called and let her know that morning that I wasn't going to be there.  I don't think she believed me.

We are no longer friends (there were other reasons...but I think she never got over this).



Yeah, I think it really depends on the people getting married and your relationship to them.  When I was the bride, I totally would have understood.  Not everyone does though and of course, as internet advisors, we have no idea how to judge it!  

Definitely call and ask them their opinion!
2011-01-06 5:18 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Extreme Veteran
586
500252525
Edgewater, CO
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
I would not go. I would not want to ruin the videorecording with me barking away like a dog. I also would not risk getting them or any other guests sick.
2011-01-06 8:07 PM
in reply to: #3282804

User image

Master
1327
100010010010025
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Aarondb4 - 2011-01-06 3:45 PM
I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.



I'm still gonna go with ^^^ this.

You must have some cough suppressant or medication that suppresses the cough some of the time?  You can't be coughing non stop ?  You'd be hospitalized, no?  Sit in the back, medicate, make the appearance.

And of course any polite friend is going to say "Oh gee I understnd you're sick don't come" but I still think they'd be disappointed.  especially over a cough/cold.  Lying on a gurney on the way to the hospital would be another story.

As for infecting the couple or other such assertions, I mean I doubt you're gonna be hacking lugies all over the place, right?  People appear in public all the time with colds and coughs and don't infect everyone.

Edited by travljini 2011-01-06 8:09 PM


2011-01-07 10:19 AM
in reply to: #3283437

User image

Lafayette, CO
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
travljini - 2011-01-06 7:07 PM
Aarondb4 - 2011-01-06 3:45 PM
I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.



I'm still gonna go with ^^^ this.

You must have some cough suppressant or medication that suppresses the cough some of the time?  You can't be coughing non stop ?  You'd be hospitalized, no?  Sit in the back, medicate, make the appearance.

And of course any polite friend is going to say "Oh gee I understnd you're sick don't come" but I still think they'd be disappointed.  especially over a cough/cold.  Lying on a gurney on the way to the hospital would be another story.

As for infecting the couple or other such assertions, I mean I doubt you're gonna be hacking lugies all over the place, right?  People appear in public all the time with colds and coughs and don't infect everyone.


This. And in fact the most contagious time is the days just before showing symptoms.  When you don't know that you're spreading it to everyone.  Don't forget the cough drops too.  I prefer Ricola Sugar Free Lemon Mint. 
2011-01-07 10:30 AM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Expert
1830
100050010010010025
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Of course, if you over medicate, you could end up like "Frank the Tank" during the pool scene in "Old School".
2011-01-07 10:36 AM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Expert
664
5001002525
Ross, Ohio
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?

I am materialistic and assume everyone is like me so I would not go but increase the value of my gift.  Either something really nice or something that is very special with meaning.  This way I would fell better about missing their day but getting someting nicer than the average gift

2011-01-07 12:33 PM
in reply to: #3283103

User image

Champion
5376
5000100100100252525
PA
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
BikerGrrrl - 2011-01-06 5:49 PM

This surprises me.  If I was the one getting married, I would say "hey, I totally understand, thanks for not infecting my friends".   A negative response is paranoia on the part of the ditched (unless you have a history...) and no loss.

In fact, I would understand if they were peeved by the disruption of coughing or worry about spreading the illness.   If you do, I like the face mask idea and don't touch anyone/thing.

I stand by my advice, but I can see that is not the consensus.

I like the idea of calling them the best - why guess at this? 

GLC1968 - 2011-01-06 4:11 PM
Aarondb4 - 2011-01-06 12:45 PM
I'd take a bottle of cough suppressant and go.

The old, "I was really sick, no really I was!" routine has been done so much that even though you are sick it will still sound like a cop out.

Just keep the bottle handy and take a pull whenever the cough tickle starts acting up.



This.

I was too sick to attend a friend's wedding once (I was throwing up...no WAY I was attending) and she never forgave me.  I even called and let her know that morning that I wasn't going to be there.  I don't think she believed me.

We are no longer friends (there were other reasons...but I think she never got over this).



I would consider you a GREAT friend for being considerate.
2011-01-07 12:42 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Extreme Veteran
574
5002525
Southwestern Ontario
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
Make sure the cough syrup is alcohol-free since you'll apparently be downing the whole thing...lol...sick and drunk.  Who invited her?! Smile


2011-01-07 12:44 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Champion
11641
50005000100050010025
Fairport, NY
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?
I'm really sick right now. Coughing, incredibly sore throat, headache, weak, gnarly stomach, the works.  It's pretty obvious if I try to speak.

If I were in your position right now, I'd attend the ceremony in the back wearing a face/surgical mask.  I'd then come right back home. 

If it were my wedding, I'd completely understand if someone was too sick to attend . I'd understand if they did what I described above. I would never have an expectation that someone would attend the ceremony and reception if they were sick. That's not what a friend does.  Life happens.
2011-01-07 1:27 PM
in reply to: #3282771

User image

Expert
3126
2000100010025
Boise, ID
Subject: RE: What would you guys do?

I guess what everyone is getting at is it depends on your relationship with the couple.

I have friends that I might bow out on and neither of us would care.

I have others that I wouldn't miss if I was bloody and broken from a car accident on the way there.

So guage your relationship, but I really think you would be fine to go to the ceremony with the meds, say congrats and then bug out.

New Thread
Other Resources My Cup of Joe » What would you guys do? Rss Feed