WSJ Article: "A Workout Ate My Marriage" (Page 2)

cbrave - 2011-02-01 12:01 PM It is easy to be a cranky baby in front of your family with sighs and exaggerated tiredness, I work really hard to be quick to help and play. Imagine if we treated our training partners and team the way we acted around our family. They would think we are amazing wusses.

brucemorgan - 2011-02-01 12:07 PM

IM training?  Pah.

cbrave - 2011-02-01 12:18 PM Great to have perspective and some amazing women in your life. Congratulations! Who inspires who?

charmander - 2011-02-01 12:36 PM From my perspective, that of a naive 18 year old "kid", I've always wondered how the older folks I swim/ride with maintain their familial relationships... It's odd seeing a few people that were at the pool for two hours the friday night prior at a morning Saturday long ride- What about family time, i wonder?  Of course, there's much more to what meets the eye... but jeez.

crazyalaskian - 2011-02-01 12:16 PM I know I've had arguments with my husband about training before.  He spends a lot of time with our kids and occasionally pulls the "well you got to go do this, so I should be able to go to that" card which is fair for the most part but it can be tiresome to have it played on any kind of recurring basis.  He has even tried that with masters swimming when I get back before any of them (including him) even wake up.  Luckily it is a pretty rare occurrence but the last one really struck a chord with me.  I told him what my goals were for the season and that I was going to have to put in lots of work but the long workouts would be far shorter than they were last summer since I'm focusing on Olympic distance this year and his response was something along the lines of "it is so nice of you to decide that without discussing it with me.  You are the boss".  Granted, more commitment on my end translates to more scheduling and cooperation on his end but, I'm not allowed to set goals for myself?

I'm not a stellar triathlete, but it makes me happy, keeps me healthy, and sets a good example for our children (though it could set a bad example if it got out of hand).  It is just another challenge in a lifelong one called "marriage".  I know he understands why I do triathlons but I need to remember the flexibility he generally affords me.

charmander - 2011-02-01 2:36 PM From my perspective, that of a naive 18 year old "kid", I've always wondered how the older folks I swim/ride with maintain their familial relationships... It's odd seeing a few people that were at the pool for two hours the friday night prior at a morning Saturday long ride- What about family time, i wonder?  Of course, there's much more to what meets the eye... but jeez.

brucemorgan - 2011-02-01 3:07 PM

If I acted cranky and tired at home I'd get zero sympathy.  My 16 year old daughter has dance classes 8 hours a week, and a dance competition once a month or so.  My 17 year old daughter is a lieutenant on her high school drill team, trains most days after school, has six-hour "lock-ins" on two Saturdays a month.  My 20 year old daughter is in New York studying at NYU and will graduate this May after 3 years, with a major in Politics, a minor in French, and a minor in Comparative Literature.

IM training?  Pah.

brucemorgan - 2011-02-01 12:28 PM

They inspire me, and have ever since they were little.  I know what's important in life:

n.k - 2011-02-01 11:17 AM IMO, for Waxmen, if it wasn't triathlon it'd be golf.  Or poker.  Or his career.  Or something.  This isn't an exercise problem, its a 'my lofty goals are more important than the commitments I made to my wife and kids' problem. 

I have no issue with massive goals that take huge time commitments to achieve.  But I do have an issue with people hurting their family to achieve those goals.  I believe that if you want to train an insane amount of hours, don't get married to someone who doesn't understand and support that.  And don't have kids.  Kids have to come first in a parent's life.  Period.

Experior - 2011-02-01 1:01 PM What I find absurd about these articles is the unspoken insinuation that somehow exercise is the cause of the problem.  The cause of the problem (if the article is presenting a fair picture, and of course we don't know) is that the guy is a jerk to his family.

Workouts don't kill marriages.  People kill marriages.

ltoson - 2011-02-01 6:14 PM  I'm pretty sure I just a broke a "man rule."  Sue me. 
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