Training Woes (family/work vs training)

^^^This.

There is nothing wrong with putting real life responsibilities ahead of your extra curricular activities.

I can completely relate.  I trained like crazy from January until June and had a pretty good sprint race in June, but that wasn't close to my A race (which is coming up in 2 1/2 weeks).  I had a week long family vacation in July so I purposely didn't schedule any races in July.  I had planned to squeeze in a little training on that vacation but it didn't happen.  That had followed 2 weeks of illness after that first race where I had substandard training.  So 3 1/2 weeks of low quality or no training.  After 3 more weeks I felt like I was back on track, then I just got over a period of 5 days with no training.  I spent all day doing some long overdue yard work last Saturday which left me with no energy to train that day.  Followed by 4 days of family stuff.  Amazingly I got back into it tonight and had a great run.  Hopefully I can hit the bike in the next day or two and find that I'm ok there too.

This summer in particular has been crazy busy on the weekends with family stuff.  My weekly training has been good but getting those longer sessions in on the weekends has been hit or miss.  I almost think I should schedule my A races in June, then play it by ear the rest of the season.

Speaking from experience, this is one thing you should not be sacrificing. Sleep is when our body recovers and builds new muscle.

I was right where you are the last year and a half. My wife being pregnant and then having a newborn takes priority over racing but I didn't want to give it up completely and I had already signed up for a couple of races. Decided I paid the money to race so I was going to go and just have fun. I did a HIM way under trained, had a great swim, a good bike and an awful run. Then about a year after that (same month my daughter was born) I did an Oly with zero training and about 30 extra pounds. Finished, but it was horrible. Slow trudging everything, I was embarrassed to have an Ironman tattoo on my calf. In hindsight I would have skipped that one.

I'm back in the swing of things this year, though I have a lot of ground to make up weight and overall fitness wise. I started a sprint training plan because the short workouts are a good balance at this point for me and I intend to stay on it right through the winter and bump it up in spring. The wife has been forewarned of IM #2 in 2-3years, but I'm going to have to get my workouts done basically when the family is sleeping (early morning or late night), seems to be the best way option for me to get the time I need.

So to answer your questions; Familiar: yes, very.  Race: I'd go and have fun, you may surprise yourself.  Come back: Yes, I think you'd be fine next year as long as you plan well for the off season, even doing 30-60mins a day will help maintain fitness so you're not starting from scratch next year.

Good Luck!

-Dave

Sometimes a race is the best motivation. Personally I have trouble with anything that isn't goal-oriented, training included. So I have to do a race at least once a month to stay on track. Sometimes it's an "A" race, sometimes it's to do something different, and sometimes it's just to be with friends.

This year I did a spring marathon with a friend who was trying to qualify for Boston. We had run together all last year and I BQ'd and she missed it by 3 minutes. So I offered to pace her, which forced me to keep running through the winter and cross-train on the bike using the trainer. My normal routine is to take 2 months off and put on 10 pounds. By not doing that I was able to jump from the marathon right into triathlon training and start out in the best shape ever. So goal-oriented training works for me.

I'm thinking this is where I'm headed after my race in August is done.  Running and weight training and that's it.  Maybe bike here and there for the enjoyment of it, swim if I feel like getting away from the office at lunchtime, but not make either one of them regimented.  Keep up a good healthy exercise regimen but lose the "gotta keep getting better, make sure I'm race-ready" mentality.  My boys are all at an age now (5, almost 7, and 9) where they are old enough that it's fun to do stuff with them and they actually want me to (unlike say a few years down the road).  I've managed to pull it off so far over the past year or so, but it hasn't left a whole lot of room for much else as far as some of the other things I enjoy doing.

The kids will ALWAYS want to do things with you if you show interest. Just that they will also have their own interests. The real question is whether or not you're interests supercede their interests, and how important is it to you to make the time with them quality time. I mean not checking email, making business calls, etc. Been down this road, it's a dead end. Glad I got the wake-up call. 

My boys are 15 and 18 now and we have a great time together. It's actually easier as they get older. They have their own agendas, especially when it comes to the oldest and his girlfriend, but we work at it. If it means getting up at 5am on the weekends to get a long run or bike in, so be it. I just had to make a choice between doing LiveStrong or taking them white water rafting and paintball. Only weekend we have free between their summer jobs and school. Am I bummed that I have been riding the road bike hard and getting ready for that event? Sure. I can always do another race or ride, but the latter is something we'll have memories of together and it's not just about me.

My dad and I used to train and run races together, including a couple half and full marathons. He can't run anymore but it's something we always had.

You get it. Be proud.

I have two young kids (5 and 8), own a business, and just trained for quite some time for IMLP in July.  I can say that it was EXTREMELY tough to get in the workouts (especially the longer ones) and it still caused a lot of tension in our relationship.  And I was lucky enough to get most of the longer workouts in on a Friday or Monday to keep weekends free.

That being said, I didn't perform as well as I would have liked to since I had to put family and work first on many occasions and missed a number of key workouts.

The saving grace is that my wife and family came with me to Lake Placid and my wife had the opportunity to talk to a LOT of "Tri Widows" there - all of whom had similar experiences.  She really began to understand that although it is somewhat of a selfish hobby, it really means a lot to me and she saw how others dealt with it.  She also found a few blog posts and other helpful advice.

The result?  Instead of being resentful of my workouts, she is now both supportive and encouraging.  We decided to communicate better in advance of signing up for any races and involving my family much more in my workout schedule so we can all plan better.

As such, I schedule my workouts now in the same way I schedule a meeting with a client, kids birthday party, etc...  You put it in your calendar and stick with it. 

Family ALWAYS comes first.  Those are moments you never get back and you need to be flexible.  However I've found that by scheduling my workouts my family and co-workers will help work around that schedule.  I think you can always "find" time (that half hour of TV, etc...) but you really need to commit to it.

If I had to choose it would be family 100% of the time.

Not sure if that helps, but that is the change that I went through this past year that helped me put everything in place.