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2006-01-24 3:07 PM

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Pro
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MA
Subject: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

The coporate Board of Directors will be visiting our site this coming Friday, and it is supposed to

"provide us with an excellent opportunity to demonstrate the strength and accomplishments of the people in our world-class organization.  It is a unique opportunity to showcase our efforts in the development and commercialization ....of our products.  ..... On Friday, January 27th, we encourage you to go about your normal business and to maintain a business-like appearance (no jeans, sneakers or tee shirts).  We ask you to minimize the number of visitors to the main campus on this day in order to reduce the overall traffic in the corridors and entranceways.  Most of the Building ... first floor and the elevator will be closed for the entire day.  Access/egress for Building .... will be limited to the side entrance ......  " yada yada yada (from company email)

1.  For a company with 2000 people on site at the same time during work hours, the bigger one of the 2 cafeteria will be closed to the employees so that the BOD can have their lunch there. 

2. The BOD meeting will be held on the floor where where my office/lab is.  All employees whose office is adject to the conference room will be evauated, in case we overhear sensitive info.  Yet we are not to leave work early.  We should show the BOD that we are a bunch of hard working people.

3.  Since the BOD are of the wealthiset people in the entire US, they are not to share the restrooms with us.  Our building has 3 floors, we are on top.  The entire First floor will be closed, as per the email above.  Third floor restrooms will be no access to us also, in case the lords and ladies will need to use them during their conference.  The 3rd fllor restrooms will have fresh flowers and real towels (as opposed to paper towels) for them, which we're not allowed to use.  So the all the employees (>300 people) who work in our building will need to use the restrooms on the 2nd floor, or go to the other buildings. 

4.  They expect us to dress up and work in the lab/manufacturing suites. 

5.  No talking in the hallways, coz it doesn't look professional and we're not suppose to talk about anything other than work-related subject.  Work discussions should be done in the form of meetings. 

6.  They need "volunteers" to hold the coats for the BOD while they're on tour to areas where lab coats/clean room gowning are required. 

7.  The company spent $20,000 to repaint the interior wall of all the buildings and replaced carpets etc. 

My question is, aren't we supposed to impress the BOD of how we ACTUALLY work (numbers show that we're doing a good job)?  Why make is so inconvenient for the employees?  Why are we faking the whole thing?  If they have so much money in painting/renovating restrooms etc, why not give us a bonus or a raise? 

 

 



2006-01-24 3:12 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Crystal Lake, IL
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Perhaps asking a board member these questions would get you some attention and possibly zip you up the corporate ladder (if that's what you want).  Of course, if it didn't work your immediate supervisors would not be too happy.  This is the kind of thinking that led my to have my own company.  I can't stand coporate/office politics and bullsh**.

2006-01-24 3:33 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Elite
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Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Oh man do I feel your pain... in one of my old assignments we would get VIPs all the time and have to drop everything we're doing and make the place spotless... but still keep doing our work... don't leave anything out on the desks, put all your equipment away... but keep doing our work... pick every stray weed and piece of trash in site... but get your work done... oh it was such crap. 

Eff the man.

bts

2006-01-24 3:40 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Elite
2515
2000500
Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Well, now.  We sure wouldn't want them pissing with the common folk!

This is like every day at my office.  According to "pride in the workplace" as they call it, we're to have the window blinds all the way down with the louvers evenly open or shut.  We also are to keep personal items to a minimum - no more than three pieces of flair.  Isn't corporate America fun?

2006-01-24 3:46 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Master
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Bronze member
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW
Good thing you "tri" on your days off...!!!!!
2006-01-24 3:54 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Master
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Cambridge, MA
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Yikes, that's a sucky way to "showcase" one's workplace. 

Makes me glad (!) I work for a small-time company where the owners are part of the technical staff, in the office everyday with us, and not some stuck up bunch of prisses. 

Sorry -- remember that the goal is just to endure it!  -Sunny



2006-01-24 4:02 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Pro
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Woodstock,GA
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
I feel your pain! When I was in the Army we spent a week repainting all the lines in our motor pool and lining up our trucks perfectly because the President (Good Ole Slick Willy) was coming to the island (Oahu), not scheduled to even be near our base (Wheeler AAF), however everthing had to be perfect on the off chance that Willy got a wild hair and decided that he needed to go and randomly see a motor pool somewhere on the island. We even had an open ranks inspection that morning with every uniform starched and every boot spit shined to a high gloss. Needless to say Willy did his thing on the other side of the island and left.
2006-01-24 4:43 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Champion
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Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
Cough...Cough...

Maybe a cold comin' on?

Would be a pity to be too sick to come to work on Friday.

If you can't lie too well, then make sure your Thursday evening activities leave you with a debilitating headache/drymouth so you can legitimately claim to be in too bad a shape to come in...

2006-01-24 4:54 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Veteran
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Dallas, TX
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

I happen to be one of those 25,000 to 30,000 job cuts everyone has heard about for the past couple of days from a certain company that shall remain nameless.  Yet even though my office is closing and moving operations to Nashville, TN at the end of May, we have a bunch of VP's coming in a couple of weeks and we as managers are supposed to put on our happy faces(and convince our employees to as well) and show how much pride we take in our work? 

This is why I am leaving the corporate world next week!

2006-01-24 6:59 PM
in reply to: #330867

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Pro
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MA
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
hangloose - 2006-01-24 4:12 PM

Perhaps asking a board member these questions would get you some attention and possibly zip you up the corporate ladder (if that's what you want).  Of course, if it didn't work your immediate supervisors would not be too happy.  This is the kind of thinking that led my to have my own company.  I can't stand coporate/office politics and bullsh**.

It'd be nice if we peons can go up and talk to them.  They'll be ascorted everywhere.  We should be posing in the lab in a "working" gesture so that when the lords/ladies walk by the labs, they'd see us performing experiments through the lab windows.   May be we should have fake monitors showing fake data to make it look like CSI or something. 

Some of us plan to stay in the lab and b!tch the whole day.  Oh yeah, since the cafeterias will be crowded, we're encouraged to go out for lunch.  But there is no restaurants, not even McD around our industrial park.  And we must not be seen by the BOD that we're taking long lunches (coming back late etc).  But hell, a bunch of employees are so going out to celebrate Chinese New Year.  If anyone express a slight disapproval, we'll file for discrimination Foot in mouth !

2006-01-24 7:41 PM
in reply to: #330867

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Master
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The real USC, in the ghetto of LA
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
hangloose - 2006-01-24 3:12 PM

Perhaps asking a board member these questions would get you some attention and possibly zip you up the corporate ladder (if that's what you want).  Of course, if it didn't work your immediate supervisors would not be too happy.  This is the kind of thinking that led my to have my own company.  I can't stand coporate/office politics and bullsh**.



you can always do the "annomous memo" like the accountant that broke the enron scandle.

i believe the momo said "has enron become a risky place to work." oh well, i fight my corporation on their own rules. i got a mohak, and when i went into work my boss go tmad, too bad i had the appearance policy in my hand, in which it does not limmit it. it didnt even have the "managers clause" (u know the 'work appropriate' or some grabage to give managers the power to decide)

i do like the out sick option. especially since i RARELY ever take them. i do it when i ever i wont BC my tack record shows that there is no that i abuse it.

Edited by tyrant 2006-01-24 7:41 PM


2006-01-24 7:47 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Master
1932
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Savannah,
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
It used to be my job to give the new BOD a  tour  and orientation....BOD stewardesss.....They respond best to one who is genuine, smiling, and honest.  No real BS required.  Good luck.
2006-01-24 7:52 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Master
2136
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A Prairie Home
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
You mentioned 2 of my favorite words: egress and peon!!
My favorite is the part about putting flowers and real towels in washroom. Please tell me what company you work for. If it is publicly traded, I shall buy 1 share and write your board a letter and tell them management is wasting money and effort to do stupid things and not running the company.
2006-01-24 9:58 PM
in reply to: #331052

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Pro
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MA
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Denise2003 - 2006-01-24 8:52 PM You mentioned 2 of my favorite words: egress and peon!! My favorite is the part about putting flowers and real towels in washroom. Please tell me what company you work for. If it is publicly traded, I shall buy 1 share and write your board a letter and tell them management is wasting money and effort to do stupid things and not running the company.

I don't even know the word "egress" until I read that email (and look up in the dictionary) today. 

I'm expecting to see bidets (is it how you say it?) in the toilets tomorrow.  They're renovating the 3rd floor women's room this afternoon.....

 

2006-01-25 7:45 AM
in reply to: #331030

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Giver
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Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
Celeb_ithil - 2006-01-24 7:59 PM

...they'd see us performing experiments through the lab windows. May be we should have fake monitors showing fake data to make it look like CSI or something.

I find lots of beakers and flasks filled with water and food coloring look especially impressive. If you want to add to the "ahhh" factor, drop in some dry ice. 

2006-01-25 7:50 AM
in reply to: #331256

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Master
2136
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A Prairie Home
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
run4yrlif - 2006-01-25 7:45 AM

I find lots of beakers and flasks filled with water and food coloring look especially impressive. If you want to add to the "ahhh" factor, drop in some dry ice. 


To top it off, make sure one of you (hopefully the one who dressed up as mad scientist) yell "eureka" when the BOD walks by.


2006-01-25 7:53 AM
in reply to: #331257

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Giver
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Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Awesome. And make sure you have a hunchback handy. It shows diversity, and everyone knows there's no science without a hunchback. 

 

Denise2003 - 2006-01-25 8:50 AM
run4yrlif - 2006-01-25 7:45 AM I find lots of beakers and flasks filled with water and food coloring look especially impressive. If you want to add to the "ahhh" factor, drop in some dry ice.
To top it off, make sure one of you (hopefully the one who dressed up as mad scientist) yell "eureka" when the BOD walks by.

2006-01-25 8:26 AM
in reply to: #330858

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Master
2136
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A Prairie Home
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
And slimey green glob.. don't forget the slimey green glob. muhahaha.
2006-01-25 12:17 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Crystal Lake, IL
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

Drop a beaker full of steaming green liquid as they walk by and run through the lab screaming "Get away!  Run for your life!"

I know, ridiculous thought.  But so is what your managers are doing.

2006-01-25 1:23 PM
in reply to: #331557

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Champion
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Fairport, NY
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)
hangloose - 2006-01-25 1:17 PM

Drop a beaker full of steaming green liquid as they walk by and run through the lab screaming "Get away!  Run for your life!"

I know, ridiculous thought.  But so is what your managers are doing.

 

Even better: drop the beaker and have everyone in the lab fall to the ground clutching at their throats and writhing in pain.

Large corporations are run for the benefit of upper management. The measure of managements skill is how much they're able to do so without getting fired or indicted.

2006-01-25 1:37 PM
in reply to: #330858

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Crystal Lake, IL
Subject: RE: Board of Directors..kiss up? (BIG TIME RANT)

marmadaddy has a point.  You would be demonstrating organizational skills and leadership ability, as well as ability to perform under pressure, take risks, and good timing.  All qualities that should be valued highly by management.



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