Elevator Etiquette - rant

7. Don't fart.

Or if you do, make sure you do it right before you get off the elevator. 

SR  

Ooooh, I have to add to #6!  If you are at the mall, do not take the frickin' elevator if you are healthy and you are not pushing a stroller!  Take the stairs or the escalator for gosh sakes and leave the elevator for those who need it!  This was a huge pet peeve of mine when my kids were babies.  I would head over to the elevator pushing my stoller and there would be a bunch of people standing there - within sight distance of an escalator!  People would actually cut right in front of my stroller to get on in front of me.  I got so mad one time that I actually rammed a lady with the stroller and said, "Oops, sorry I didn't see you cutting in front of me".  Why do people have no common sense or courtesy?

You are right.  How would one supposed to get in a full elevator if you don't let people get out FIRST??

Thought you were reading condoms, there.

my personal favorite is just picking one random person and staring at them with a huge creepy smile for the entire time. If they get off, look sad until a new person gets on, then repeat.

Or if it's only one other person with you, start looking around like you're trying to find something, then look at the person and slowly start inching away from them

wearing a walkman, leaving the earphones unplugged and singing to yourself can also be pretty entertaining. 

As a lady, I stand as close as I can to the control panel when I'm on an elevator alone.  The emergency buttons are handy just in case.  Why back myself into a corner if a strange man/men step on?

I was laughing at all the descriptions of elevators, when this e mail arrived from my mother-in-law.

http://www.toilette-humor.com/flash/brocolli.swf

I think it describes the elevator problems pretty well.

I work in a nursing home with only 2 stories and one elevator.  Try getting in and out of the elevator with a bunch of senile old ladies and gentleman in wheelchairs who only care about getting on and off the elevator fast enough so they won't miss bingo or their next smoke break.  It's the damn demolition derby most days!

I don't think Winnemucca has a single elevator, unless you cound the cages to descend into the mines.

African elevator anecdotes:

In Cote d'Ivoire, the french would SMOKE in the elevators!

I once got on the elevator at the hotel in my swim suit and a sarong to go down to the pool.  I was the only one on the elevator until it swung open and in come some African military dudes with automatic weapons did a sweep of the elevator before some dignatory in an extrordinary african robe gets on.  "Ou tu va?!" one shouts at me   "aaa aaa ala piscine?" I reply hesitently.  he smirks and they all get on, effectively pushing me into the corner, me feeling nearly naked for the ride.  They get off and I let them go, let the door shut, then remembered I had to get off at that level too.