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2007-04-03 3:47 PM
in reply to: #364978

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Subject: RE: Jack Bauer Blasphemy
Jack Bauer has been on the scene now for five years saving the country from foreign and domestic threats alike. Quietly, and with stealth and precision he has captured the imagination of the country. Like a bullet to the kneecap, Jack Bauer has America talking.

Jack Bauer's Bio:

Bauer graduated with a bachelor's degree in English literature from UCLA, a master's degree in criminology and law from UC Berkeley, and a doctorate in -kicking from the Jack Bauer Institute of Badassery.

After completing his schooling, he worked as a Los Angeles Police Department SWAT team member, and in the U.S. Army's elite Delta Force. Bauer also did fieldwork for the Central Intelligence Agency before joining the Counter Terrorist Unit.

BIO
Name: Jonathan"Jack" Bauer
Birthday: Classified
Birthplace: California
Current Location: ????
Eye Color: Fire with a hint of determination
Hair Color: Depends on how much blood he has shed on any given day
Height: 5'11
Right Handed or Left Handed: Jack Bauer's hands are lethal weapons and are not limited by any preference
Heritage: 100% Badass
Death Count : Approx. 350
Weakness: Getting framed
Fears: Clowns
Hobbies: Clearing his name
Long Term Goals : Saving the World
Motto: "All in a day's work"
Favorite Color : Fear
Favorite TV Show: The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross
Favorite Movie: The Fugitive


Chuck Norris has been fighting evil for four decades. An original American badass, Norris has roundhouse kicked his way into popular culture with the fury of a thousand suns. If you are not a fan of Chuck Norris be afraid, he knows who you are.

Chuck Norris' Bio:

In 1968, Norris became Middleweight Karate champion. In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the fighter of the year award by Black Belt magazine. It was also in 1969 that Norris made his acting debut, in the Dean Martin movie The Wrecking Crew.

In 1970, his younger brother Weiland was killed in Vietnam. Norris later dedicated his Missing in Action films to his brother's memory.

Long story short... Chuck Norris is an angry man.

BIO
Name: Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris Jr.
Birthday: March 10, 1940
Birthplace: Oklahoma
Current Location: Right behind you
Eye Color: Blue with specks of insanity
Hair Color: Strawberry-Blonde
Height: 5'10
Right Handed or Left Handed: Chooses to use his feet in most situations
Heritage: 50% American Indian, 50% American Hero
Death Count : Unknown
Weakness: None
Fears: None
Hobbies: Telling little boys they have AIDS
Long Term Goals : Roundhouse kicking
Motto: "I am Chuck Norris "
Favorite Color : Lavender
Favorite TV Show: Texas Ranger
Favorite Movie: Delta Force





2007-04-04 10:18 AM
in reply to: #364978

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Supersonicus Idioticus
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Subject: RE: Jack Bauer Blasphemy
We could bring Vin Diesel into the mix...

"When Vin Diesel dives into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Vin"
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