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2006-03-31 4:29 PM

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Sun Prairie, WI
Subject: Wedding etiquette question
So Brian and I are having a whopping 15 guests at our wedding. The wedding is at the Arboretum, followed by a dinner at a nice place. Question is, do Brian and I pay for the dinner for everyone?? At a "normal" wedding, obviously we'd pay for the reception, so I would assume we should pay? I can just see chaos ensuing though, when our fathers fight over the check. So we need to establish this now. Comments?


2006-03-31 4:31 PM
in reply to: #385161

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Resident Curmudgeon
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question

Whoever is hosting, doing the inviting, should pay.

2006-03-31 4:41 PM
in reply to: #385161

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molto veloce mama
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question
first, congratulations!!!

and yes, you should pay, and yes, figure it out before hand. when we did our rehearsal dinner, we had a pre-established menu people could pick from and a simple list of drinks. you don't want to worry about it the day of, so figure out the details as much as possible now. 17 people isn't a huge wedding reception, but its a larger than average table for a regular dinner out, so the restaurant will probably be willing to work something out for you.

2006-03-31 4:48 PM
in reply to: #385161

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2006-03-31 8:59 PM
in reply to: #385161

Elite
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question

Not sure how much this applies to your situation (since I don't have all the details), but tradition usually dictates that the Groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner and the bride's pays for the wedding/reception.  If you aren't really having a rehearsal dinner this could get a bit dicey.  Just make sure you talk to the waiter beforehand.

bts 

2006-03-31 9:12 PM
in reply to: #385161

Wife, Mother, Friend.
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question

Yeah, you could pay for it, but I wouldn't turn down any offers of payment from  anyone.    

congratulations!!   "normal wedding".....  is any wedding normal, by the way? 

My DH's family didn't do a dang thing for our wedding.  They didn't even come!  NOT ONE PERSON from his family was there.  Dang, this is their first born son's wedding.   So it was all my friends and relatives.  We had a buffet type thing and a CW band and a couple of kegs of beer with a couple bottles of whiskey.   My relatives did a lot of the cooking, some of it was bought it.  My nana and her Slavic friends/cousins made a lot of the ethnic pastries.  It was very informal reception and very fun.  IT was the only time I've seen Daddy drunk. 

For those who are wondering- they didn't think their son getting married was worth an 8hour drive.  humph.  His brother was the only one with a real excuse- he was in Iceland!

 



2006-04-02 10:04 AM
in reply to: #385161

Sun Prairie, WI
Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question
Our surprise wedding invites made it to the fam yesterday. After much freaking out by my parents, they both INSISTED they will be paying for the after dinner. So the issue worked itself out. Pretty fun surprising everyone with our wedding date on April Fools day So its set for May 27th, fun times.
2006-04-02 11:11 AM
in reply to: #385312

Elite
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question
Lucy - 2006-03-31 8:12 PM

For those who are wondering- they didn't think their son getting married was worth an 8hour drive. humph. His brother was the only one with a real excuse- he was in Iceland!

I can't even fathom that.  I've flown 5 hours then driven 8 more to get to friends weddings... I actually had a few folk who drove 14 hours the day befor my wedding then turned around and drove back the next day.  And none of those cases were even family.  Was it his 6th or 7th wedding or something... even with that, it's still messed up.

bts 

2006-04-02 11:19 AM
in reply to: #385883

Champion
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question

We had a friend fly in from Hawaii for our wedding.  I hope there's more to the story than just lazy parents.

Brett - 2006-04-02 11:11 AM
Lucy - 2006-03-31 8:12 PM

For those who are wondering- they didn't think their son getting married was worth an 8hour drive. humph. His brother was the only one with a real excuse- he was in Iceland!

I can't even fathom that.  I've flown 5 hours then driven 8 more to get to friends weddings... I actually had a few folk who drove 14 hours the day befor my wedding then turned around and drove back the next day.  And none of those cases were even family.  Was it his 6th or 7th wedding or something... even with that, it's still messed up.

bts 

2006-04-02 6:03 PM
in reply to: #385312

Wife, Mother, Friend.
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question

to answer the two gentlemen above...  yep, the in laws are lazy and self centered.  They hardly ever socialize with family.  They don't spend time with the kids, they live 20 minutes away!!   They call every so often, yes.  They are just extremely uncomfortable being out of their element- their house, walmart, and flea markets.   They don't take vacations or anything of the sort.  Never went on family vacations with the kids when they were younger.    Thats just the way they are- hermits.   And yes, it was our first wedding each, maybe the fact that we  met, a month later engaged, three months from meeting he got deployed for six months, two months after his return we got married.  quickie, no shotgun.  That was 18 years ago and we are still at it,and his brother and sister (whom of yes, they went to their weddings- they were here) are both divorced.   Maybe that's a good thing- they may be bad luck or something?  humph.    I could go on and on about the weird things my in laws do.

to the OP---  glad it all worked out!! 

2006-04-02 6:13 PM
in reply to: #385161

Expert
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Subject: RE: Wedding etiquette question
I had my reception in China Town, Sydeny and it cost $10 per head (14 people attended), after bargaining with two different restaurants opposite each other. It was then my dad payed. Cheapest wedding reception ever.


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