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2013-04-09 4:25 PM
in reply to: #4693804

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:03 PM I'm...okay I guess.  I had 8 months yesterday.  I am struggling with being tired of all the work it takes to be a better person.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  I am sure if I plug on and keep working the steps I'll feel better but right now I just want to quit.
 

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.



2013-04-09 4:59 PM
in reply to: #4693835

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
riltri - 2013-04-09 5:25 PM

ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:03 PM I'm...okay I guess.  I had 8 months yesterday.  I am struggling with being tired of all the work it takes to be a better person.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  I am sure if I plug on and keep working the steps I'll feel better but right now I just want to quit.
 

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.


I am not talking about relapse.  I totally don't want to drink again.  I know exactly what will happen if I do and I am not interested in going down that path. 

What I am talking about is just being tired of doing to work.  It just seems so...exhausting.  I have seen the payoffs and I know it is worth it but I am just overwhelmed right now. 

Balance is exactly what I need to find.
2013-04-09 5:28 PM
in reply to: #4693870

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
ebshot - 2013-04-09 5:59 PM
riltri - 2013-04-09 5:25 PM

ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:03 PM I'm...okay I guess.  I had 8 months yesterday.  I am struggling with being tired of all the work it takes to be a better person.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  I am sure if I plug on and keep working the steps I'll feel better but right now I just want to quit.
 

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.


I am not talking about relapse.  I totally don't want to drink again.  I know exactly what will happen if I do and I am not interested in going down that path. 

What I am talking about is just being tired of doing to work.  It just seems so...exhausting.  I have seen the payoffs and I know it is worth it but I am just overwhelmed right now. 

Balance is exactly what I need to find.

 

I've had people tell me that I should be at a meeting as many nights a week as I drank. I've had people tell me that I should do two or more meetings a day if I can find the time, and if I can't that I should make the effort to make the time.

 

My feeling is this:  My life was unmanageable because I let something dictate my life to me, and I didn't get sober to spend every waking moment in church basements.  So why would I replace an obsession with alcohol with an obsession with AA?  That's not what AA and sobriety is supposed to be.  It's our classroom where we learn how to live, not our monastery where we hide from life; and that learning is useless if we don't get out and LIVE.

I NEED meetings, but I also NEED time for myself. So, I have a few meetings per week that I make every effort to not miss.  They are home groups, and I try to stay active with all of them.  The rest of the days, I try to actually have a LIFE.  That thing I deprived myself of while letting alcohol and compulsions rule me.  With perhaps the recent exception of HIM training, I try to avoid taking anything to extremes and instead try to just get what I NEED.  What that is will vary from person to person, but for ME, that is not a meeting every day.  For me, it means regular contact with people in the program, most importantly my sponsor. It means a few meetings per week, and it means that I live the 12 Steps on a daily basis.  Living the Steps isn't taxing or a burden.... actually, it's pretty damned easy. You just focus on doing the next Right thing, take care of your side of the street, and help others when asked (if you can).

 

I have no clue how much of that rambling makes sense, but hopefully something in there helps somebody

2013-04-09 6:54 PM
in reply to: #4693870

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:59 PM
riltri - 2013-04-09 5:25 PM

ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:03 PM I'm...okay I guess.  I had 8 months yesterday.  I am struggling with being tired of all the work it takes to be a better person.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  I am sure if I plug on and keep working the steps I'll feel better but right now I just want to quit.
 

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.


I am not talking about relapse.  I totally don't want to drink again.  I know exactly what will happen if I do and I am not interested in going down that path. 

What I am talking about is just being tired of doing to work.  It just seems so...exhausting.  I have seen the payoffs and I know it is worth it but I am just overwhelmed right now. 

Balance is exactly what I need to find.

I get what you are saying.  Since no two people are alike, it is reasonable to assume that everyone needs a varying quantity of support.  What will work for me will not work for you.  In AA, I found that a lot of folks needed a massive amount of support while others used AA as a transition tool.  It is extremely important that you find your own balance!

2013-04-10 10:35 AM
in reply to: #4056558

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Are AA folks talking at all about the new pope being a Jesuit?  As the 12 steps have some roots in Ignation Spirituality aka the Jesuits, I would think the sober crowd might be taking note.

Ebshot, good to hear you are so determined not to go back to drinking; you gave me pause when you said you were tired.  I'm a bit confused; is it the AA work that is exhausting for you? 

Rushtogether, are you still out there?  Let us know how you are doing?

2013-04-10 11:09 AM
in reply to: #4694721

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
annie - 2013-04-10 10:35 AM

Are AA folks talking at all about the new pope being a Jesuit?  

 

See Tradition 10.....

 

 



2013-04-10 3:46 PM
in reply to: #4693972

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
riltri - 2013-04-09 6:54 PM
ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:59 PM
riltri - 2013-04-09 5:25 PM

ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:03 PM I'm...okay I guess.  I had 8 months yesterday.  I am struggling with being tired of all the work it takes to be a better person.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  I am sure if I plug on and keep working the steps I'll feel better but right now I just want to quit.
 

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.


I am not talking about relapse.  I totally don't want to drink again.  I know exactly what will happen if I do and I am not interested in going down that path. 

What I am talking about is just being tired of doing to work.  It just seems so...exhausting.  I have seen the payoffs and I know it is worth it but I am just overwhelmed right now. 

Balance is exactly what I need to find.

I get what you are saying.  Since no two people are alike, it is reasonable to assume that everyone needs a varying quantity of support.  What will work for me will not work for you.  In AA, I found that a lot of folks needed a massive amount of support while others used AA as a transition tool.  It is extremely important that you find your own balance!

I used AA as a transitional tool. Went every day for 6o days and then 5-6 a week for the next 3 1/2 months. I found a sponsor that lived and breathed the program. He was able to pinpoint the reason I never quite managed to make sobriety stick. Once I understood that, I stopped going to meetings. I never even went back for my 6 month chip. I realize my results aren't typical and don't encourage anyone to follow my example, but I've managed to make it work without AA being an integral part of my life. 

2013-05-03 12:26 PM
in reply to: #4056558

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A'ali, Bahrain
Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Hi All,

I read this article http://www.spectator.co.uk/features/8857821/fixing-a-hole/and thought of you all.  I've never heard of this guy but love his writing style.

Hope all is well where ever you are.

Annie

2013-05-03 1:57 PM
in reply to: #4693870

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
ebshot - 2013-04-09 3:59 PM
riltri - 2013-04-09 5:25 PM

ebshot - 2013-04-09 4:03 PM I'm...okay I guess.  I had 8 months yesterday.  I am struggling with being tired of all the work it takes to be a better person.  It just doesn't come naturally to me.  I am sure if I plug on and keep working the steps I'll feel better but right now I just want to quit.
 

Have you actually admitted to yourself what will happen if you quit?  How many problems will it add to the burdens you already carry?  When you admit to the truth, most times it's easier to be sober.


I am not talking about relapse.  I totally don't want to drink again.  I know exactly what will happen if I do and I am not interested in going down that path. 

What I am talking about is just being tired of doing to work.  It just seems so...exhausting.  I have seen the payoffs and I know it is worth it but I am just overwhelmed right now. 

Balance is exactly what I need to find.

How free do you want to be?

How much work are YOU worth?

 

2013-05-03 2:06 PM
in reply to: #4056558

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

I grew up with a step-father who didn't drink often but when he did it always ended up with me waking up in the middle of the night to his yelling.  At 18 I went downstairs, confronted him and got in a fight with him.  I was respectful enough not to strike him but I took him to the ground and submitted him.  I then got up and left the house.  A month later I left home for the Navy and didn't speak to him for about the next 10 years.  We never spoke about it but we are now on good terms.  As a life lesson, I simply have never had a desire to drink.  Ironically, I have a steel rod in my leg from being hit by a drunk driver in a 60/60 mph head on crash.

I have no positive experiences with alcohol but I view it the way I vew firearms.  Be responsible, accountable for your actions and know what  you are doing.  I don't judge those who choose to use either of them.  I believe we need to punish those who hurt others. 

2013-06-05 5:58 PM
in reply to: Pector55

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Hey everyone!
Hope that you're well!

I don't know how many days it's been for me, but I can tell you it's been the longest I have EVER went without a drink. I am still sober, and I am living life one day at time.

I am down almost 40lbs since January 1st


I'll be spending some more time around BT now too!


2013-06-06 8:47 AM
in reply to: RushTogether

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Originally posted by RushTogether

Hey everyone!
Hope that you're well!

I don't know how many days it's been for me, but I can tell you it's been the longest I have EVER went without a drink. I am still sober, and I am living life one day at time.

I am down almost 40lbs since January 1st


I'll be spending some more time around BT now too!



Nice job Homie!
2013-06-06 9:06 AM
in reply to: RushTogether

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by RushTogether Hey everyone! Hope that you're well! I don't know how many days it's been for me, but I can tell you it's been the longest I have EVER went without a drink. I am still sober, and I am living life one day at time. I am down almost 40lbs since January 1st I'll be spending some more time around BT now too!

You are and you look awesome. {MELON PRESS}

2013-06-10 2:39 PM
in reply to: TriAya

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
I hit 10 months on Saturday.  Over 300 days.  Pretty surreal. 
2013-06-10 4:44 PM
in reply to: ebshot

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Congrats, Erica!!  That's absolutely awesome Cool
2013-06-10 4:59 PM
in reply to: cgregg

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Congrats!!! Rounding the corner.....


2013-07-16 10:03 AM
in reply to: powerman

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Over a month since this powerful thread has been updated. How's it going for everyone living their life one day at a time?
2013-07-16 10:15 AM
in reply to: Beej

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Originally posted by Beej Over a month since this powerful thread has been updated. How's it going for everyone living their life one day at a time?

I'm doing well.  I finally feel like I can breathe a bit.  I'm not constantly thinking about a drink.  It took 11 months and a lot of work but I am making progress.  It's a long road but I am so glad to be on it. 
2013-07-16 10:31 AM
in reply to: ebshot

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by ebshot
Originally posted by Beej Over a month since this powerful thread has been updated. How's it going for everyone living their life one day at a time?

I'm doing well.  I finally feel like I can breathe a bit.  I'm not constantly thinking about a drink.  It took 11 months and a lot of work but I am making progress.  It's a long road but I am so glad to be on it. 

 

That first year is the toughest, by far.  As long as you've surrendered, you'll soon find that things just get simpler and easier.

Life gets GOOD, and it just keeps getting better.  

 

 

I'm doing well these days.  Still happily sober, and just celebrated my 7th anniversary on June 30th.  I've recently started dating someone, and I generally just didn't know that life could be this good

 

2013-07-16 11:41 AM
in reply to: cgregg

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
All good here. Glad to hear things are getting easier for you Erica. And a belated Happy Anniversary to you Chris!
2013-07-16 2:01 PM
in reply to: mdg2003

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Hey folks! I just crept past 18 months and things couldn't be better... Meetings good, helping others good and being honest with myself all good... Haven't been around BT much, but I always look for this thread when I stop by...


2013-08-08 7:23 AM
in reply to: SoberTriGuy

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
Today I have 1 year sober.  Hard to believe all that has happened this year.  I have put in the work and I am feeling great.  Life is good. 
2013-08-08 10:07 AM
in reply to: ebshot

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by ebshot Today I have 1 year sober.  Hard to believe all that has happened this year.  I have put in the work and I am feeling great.  Life is good. 

 

Holy smokes!  Yay!!!

Congrats, Erica Cool

 

 

The hardest one is behind you; and it just keeps getting better.  Always remember to have gratitude, and live the Four Absolutes, and you cannot go wrong.

 

2013-08-08 1:22 PM
in reply to: ebshot

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober

Originally posted by ebshot Today I have 1 year sober.  Hard to believe all that has happened this year.  I have put in the work and I am feeling great.  Life is good. 

Congratulations, Erica, that is fantastic!

2013-08-08 11:00 PM
in reply to: bcraht

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Subject: RE: Becoming Sober
That is SO SO AWESOME!!! You have worked really hard to get it. You earned every hour of it. It's a big flippin' deal. Huge Congrats to you!
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