Who has got snipped? (Page 3)

 Like most said, my wife handled that stuff for the past 14 years, it's my turn to step up.

 All I can say is, if you're a man who is afraid to get this done and would rather have your wife get her tubes tied, then HTFU.  You may not need to have it done because you obviously don't have a pair.

 I have 0 respect for any male that makes his wife go though a tubal ligation (unless they're already in there of course) instead of having this trivial minor procedure.

 I have little respect for any dude too wimpy to do it. Tubal ligation is vry invasive , painful and way more expensive.

You guys are awesome and I love you for it.  My husband had it done a year ago, but it was definitely HIS decision as opposed to something I wanted.  I do/did understand his perspective:  he has two teenagers from his previous marriage to Voldemort, he's ten years older and ten years more tired than I... but I always wanted more than two children.  So, while understanding it, that was a painful time for me.  Needless to say, his expectation of being waited on hand and foot for a long, lazy recovery weekend really didn't happen that way.  I cared for him, but the pictures on the brochure of the supercilious wife bending over him with peeled grapes and crackers--no.  Didn't happen like that. 

That said, I do agree that if both agree they're done, it's the least a guy can do.  We've spent years messing with our bodies and taking primary responsibility for it, putting OUR feet up in stirrups, going through childbirth... this is not that big a deal compared to the woman's side of it.  I lost all respect for my brother fairly recently in discovering that he didn't get snipped after the second and very surprise child.  His wife is not a functional adult, barely handles the most basic of child care responsibilities, and they are not financially stable by a LONG shot due to his own choices.  SURPRISE--child #3 is due in a few weeks.  We were all so furious we could barely speak.  Initially he told me it was because insurance wouldn't cover it (for the love of all that is holy, we all would have chipped in) but recently made a more candid comment that, "Well, you hear of things going wrong and it made me nervous".  No, really, you don't hear of things going wrong.  I know your penis is utterly precious to you, brother, but this is a minor procedure with an infinitestimally low rate of complications.  Compare that to tubal ligation, pregnancy, and/or childbirth, which you've now subjected your wife to?  As a previous poster said, perhaps a vasectomy isn't necessary because there's a real lack of balls there.  ***stepping off soapbox***

So, to all of you gentlemen (in every sense of the word) who take that on out of respect for your partner's contribution, melon presses to all. 

As I've said, we have 5.  My wife decided she was done......she never asked me, she just asked the doc.  

Maybe our relationship is different than most.  If you asked my wife, she would tell you that it's her body, and she is responsible for it.  She will tell you that she is the one who decides if she will carry another child.  I'm good with that.  I trust her.  

She never asked me to get snipped, and like I said, she never asked my opinion on getting her tubes tied.....she just told me she was doing it....I don't argue with her.  Our relationship has worked wonderfully because neither of us feel like we gave up who we are for the other.  We keep separate identities as we work together. (we don't even share a joint bank account)

Lot's of people say it, but my wife is my best friend, the person I turn to for everything.....if she decides something without asking me, I'm good with it....she's never let me down, and I'm sure she'd tell you the same about me because I owe her the same consideration.  

I adore my wife, I'm confident she would say the same about me.....but we don't EVER discuss surgical procedures on our bodies.....that's a personal decision.  For me, HELL NO....I'm not having a procedure that doesn't affect my health....for her it was different, I get it. We're good to go.

After my third child was born 3 years ago, I knew for certain that I didn't want any more kids.  It took more than 2 years to convince my wife that I should get snipped, but now she is on board with it.

I haven't actually gone through with it yet.  I had originally planned on doing it after completing my marathon this month.  Unfortunately I just switched jobs and insurance has been a mess.  I have started tri training and don't want to loose a week of training so now I am planning on doing it in October.

He had a better insurance plan

Just something my doc brought up for the "What if's" - you can get sperm frozen and stored for something like 150/year (cheaper than birth control) if you think there's a chance 5 years down the road, if something tragic was to happen for instance. 

My wife and I had the blunt "would we want more kids" if something happened to our kids and we said no, we're done. But I could see a 20 something maybe freezing for 10 years just in case.

One cannot replace a child if something "tragic" happens just by having another.  One cannot replace them at all.  I am sure you know this but it needed saying and was a conversation I had many years ago with my mother after my brother died.

I find your attitude towards your wife to be very refreshing (and consistent).  When I read your posts where you say "My wife is my family" I always nod in agreement.  I had a relationship that I thought was going to be lasting; he said he saw us as partners, I said I saw us as family. That was certainly a big clue that the relationship wouldn't last. Partnerships can always be dissolved. My husband is my family. That's the point of getting married - to make us family.

I like the stats on the poll. I'm sure it's skewed; probably men who have had a vasectomy are also men who are more likely to respond to such a poll. More so than otherwise.

Im glad all the others procedures went well. Mine didnt.

The needle was a needle - a small sharp pain. The doctor then proceeded with the business and I could feel every pull, squeeze and cut. The freezing didn’t completely freeze. It really did hurt like hell.

Just to put it into perspective I was hit by a car - that wasnt the painful part. The painful part was with the ortho surgeon when he pulled my broken leg to set it, then had to do it again because it didnt set just right. That was a 10 out of 10 pain.

The little snip snip was way worse than that, still 9 or 10 out of 10 but instead of a moment of absolutely excruciating pain it was spread over minutes over and over again. The nurse said I didnt look well, all the blood had drained from my face and I was on the edge of passing out. I was also yelping from time to time which must have really freaking out the waiting room. (I was the first appointment of the day) After they gave me another needle it was better and I couldn’t feel a thing. They wouldnt let me leave for over an hour until I looked a little better. Worse still was that I had driven myself to the hospital which was an hour away. When I booked the appointment I was told “no problem – wont hurt a bit”. I drive a 5 speed so need to use my legs a bit while driving which put some stress on some parts. I had to stop a number of times to rest and the drive took at least 2 hours.

 After a few days things were fine but if the procedure didn’t work Im not so sure I would be rushing back in there again. Thankfully it did work.

this is interesting...

i'm going to assume that you both decided you were OK with no more kids or planning to adopt when she made the decision.  i agree that once we, as a family, decide we are done having kids, i would never ask my husband to have surgery, but if he would have it done without the kids discussion i would be pretty pissed.

i think that is a fair expectation from your spouse, no?

This is the point of the cryo-storage. Doctors want the general masses to consider the procedure permanent as it's a misconception that it's a easy to reverse. Up here the process is free/100$ to get done, it's 10,000 to reverse with a pretty crappy sucess rate to boot.

I waited until our 2nd was 1 year old before booking the procedure. That's also the reason we didn't get her tied (c-section so it would have been easy).

I'm sure we all know a few couples that had kids in their early 20s and split up to have new families in their 30s or 40s.

Nah.....she pretty much informed me that she wasn't having any more kids....there wasn't much of a discussion. 

I would have been OK with more kids, but she was done.  The last two came as a pair so we had our hands full anyway.  

I guess it wouldn't be fair to say we never had a discussion about how many kids, because we had lots of talks about it over the years, but it was absolutely her decision to not have any more and to get her tubes tied.....she didn't ask, and I could tell it wasn't open for discussion....so that was that.  It's her body. I respect that.

Thank you Dave for making me feel like less of a woos!  My God that sounded terrible!