Falling for my best friend (Page 2)

I think you should take a step back and take stock of your own feelings on this.  Since you have posed this question on a Triathlon Forum it seems to me that you already have your answer but are looking for others to guide you.

The truth is that women aren't that much of a mystery, if you have these feelings she knows it and if she hash't acted on them you probably won't like her response if you put her on the spot with the question.

Like someone else said, decide first, what is the friendship worth and if you're prepared to lose that?

Just my two centavos on the subject.

See here is the thing.  You are the attractive one.  As a male who has had female friends that I wanted to be more, it was (can I say) emotionally painful to just be friends.  It was great for her, but not for me.  I can say while I miss the friendship, I was better off moving on.  And now that I have my best friend and wife, I don't miss those friendships.  Because on my side they were built on the hope something would happen.

And you are right it is up to the OP to judge.

Fixed that. 

I say go for it. Make her "poop or get off the pot", so to speak. Relationships like this are, in general, all an ego-stroking for the woman -- she has all the power, and reaps all the ego strokes as her male "friends" fawn all over her. Of course, if she's got several male "friends", she may be very willing to let one go. Best to just get it out there, move on, and eventually she'll see the one that got away.

x2!!!!

I was in her spot a while back - and I disagree with the statement that women pick up on these things ... I had NO IDEA my best friend of 16 years was in love with me. NO. IDEA. Not a clue.

One day, out of the blue, he walked up to me and kissed me. At first I was like DUDE WTF you're like my BROTHER! He confessed his love - and we opened a bottle of wine and talked about it. What it would do to our relationship, our friendship, what a romantic relationship would look like ... and after a few days of thinking about it and getting over the creepiness of kissing my "brother" - I fell in love with my best friend. And it rocked my world.

Then several years he left me for someone he'd been cheating on me with - and he destroyed my world. 
So ... if you're serious about her -  please make sure you are really serious about making it work. You lose a lot more than the relationship when/if it ends - you lose an irreplaceable friendship too. But if it works - it'll be the most amazing experience of your life. 

Good luck.

Let this be a lesson to all men out there...do NOT become friends with hot chicks.  It's that simple.  

Let this be a lesson to all men out there...do NOT become friends with hot chicks.  It's that simple.  

OK... so then how did your's turn out?

Actually I have been on the reverse too and it ended up being my first wife... but she was my sister's friend, she liked me the whole time, and we were only friends for about a year before dating. There was no big "reveal" we just started dating. Not exactly the same.

The alternative is not telling her......that's dumb.

Hints are for school kids.

Just tell her, and be prepared for anything.....that's life.

Not telling her is not living.

I would not trade friendship with ANYTHING. 

True friend will always be yours.  You are pretty sure she's your true friend after all these years. 

A romanic relationship, well, when flame dies, you're going to lose a relationship - can you go back to the friendship?  It's more likely you're going to lose the friendship, too. 

I wouldn't be married to my best friend if I never took that chance and told her how I felt and then begged/groveled for that first date.  It was a relationship that started out as two strangers, that grew into friendship, that grew into a relationship, that is now a happy marriage with one child.

I say you go for it and let the chips fall where they may. 

After spending A LOT of time thinking about this and reading all of your replies, I decided to go with this.  I know that I would be A LOT happier just having her in my life as a friend, then not at all.

Thank you all very much.

...edited because silence is golden...

You can say whatever you want, won't hurt my feelings.

Am I doing the right thing?  No one can answer that.  But in my heart I feel as though I am, so for now that is good enough for me.

{{{MELON PRESS}}}

You are a good man, Charlie Brown.

I guess I just hope your last post was coming from your heart and not what you think she would want you to say.

...As long as you can hold that in your heart while she is living and sleeping with another man ...I guess I have to respect that...Because it WILL happen.  She isn't going to be single forever, and it is either you or someone else.

I just don't see why 2 single people our age would hang out as much as you did and still keep the intention of Just Being Friends.  

I guess that was all I was going to say.

I hope the best for you both.  I would rather it end in gushy love...but reality doesn't always make that possible, I guess. 

But Duct tape is silver! 

It may not always be wise to follow your heart but if it is what you feel is right it is the only thing you can do.  Good luck.

I know you have made up your mind for now, but here is my 2 cents anyway.

You regret the stuff you didn't do more than the stuff you did do later in life. 

Friendships are good, but they come and go, especially friendships with the opposite sex. I had lots of friends in high school and college that were female. Once I got married most of those friendships went away. My best friend in college was a girl that I later found out was interested, she never pursued it until later, now I am married and she is married, I haven't talked to her in years.

My wife had plenty of guy friends too, those friendships have all but gone away. It is difficult to form "couple friendships" when it is members of the opposite sex that are the original friends. Not saying it isn't possible, but in my experience it doesn't happen often. The couples we hang out with are guy friends of mine and their wives, and girl friends of my wife and their SO's. 

If you really do have feelings for the girl it might be worth a shot. Chances are if you don't one or both of you will get married and the friendship will either fade away or be changed forever, pretty much the same result as if she doesn't feel the same way now. 

And I agree with those that say hints are for kids. Adults should be able to have an open convo about these sort of things. My friend in college finally told me about her feelings for me, but I was in a relationship at that point and it was too late. Who knows what may or may not have happened if she had been open before.