The water was cold I was ready to go
The gun went off time for the show.
I put my head in the water and off I went right at 7,
The lack of contact was like manna from heaven.

I thought I'd swam straight, heading into the bright sunlight,
Then realized I'd gone too far left and needed to move right.
I swam toward the pack and got back into the scrum,
Next thing I knew I took a right cross from some bum.
Not a big deal despite a bloody nose,
Nothing was broken, whew that was close.
Made the first and second turns, trying to stay on route,
Took a foot to the face, it never really cleared out.
Made my way back trying to keep warm,
I knew I'd been out there a while as I was losing my form.
Made the last turn, which gave me time for one more pee,
Got pulled out of the water, after nearly 1:43.

Perhaps I should swim more in the Chicago lake,
My lack of swim training was a huge mistake!

My hands were frozen and my feet were like ice,
The warmth of the transition tent was really quite nice.
I couldn't feel my hands or my face or my feet,
Finally got dressed and headed out to the street.

If I could feel my hands, that would've been best,
But that's OK, I had a nice rest.

The first loop was dreamy despite the headwind we were facing
So I figured I'd take it easy, while others were racing.
I ground up the Beeline with no end it was seeming,
I turned and came down the hill fast, boy I was screaming!
I made the first loop at about hour 2,
But then the hill and the wind would drop the other shoe.
I ground up that hill, forever it took,
For another 75 miles I was on the hook.
My stomach was hurting, I had to text Zilla,
So I did and boy, that deuce was straight up killa.
I had to stop four times as my stomach wasn't right,
But I didn't want to quit, I wanted to fight.
I stuck with it through loop 2 and loop 3,
Just off that bike I wanted to be.
Finally came in after 112 miles,
I handed off my bike with all grins and all smiles.

Train on some hills from time to time instead of rolling the dice,
Maybe do a 100-miler and try to ride the course at least twice!

Ran into T2, took off my helmet, jersey and shoes,
I didn't rush it as I really had nothing to lose.

To catch Monica was the entire goal,
So off I went about 15 minutes in the hole.
I stopped and saw her parents and friends and went off in a whirl,
But then took off like a flash to find my girl.
My first couple miles were at about a 9 minute pace,
But I knew it wouldn't last as it's quite a long race.
I found Monica before mile 3
I approached her and we hugged with much glee.
WE ran one and walked one and tried to be strong,
But dang that marathon seemed long!
We weaved our way through the Tempe streets,
Smiling and waving and hollering out happy warm greets.
Saw the parents and Mav and Chad,
We finished loop two and boy was I glad.
Monica wasnt feeling well, she was woozy and weaving,
But at least she kept herself from heaving.
We chatted up the awesome volunteers who kept us in the race,
And kept moving forward, because FORWARD IS A PACE!
Came to miles 23, 24 and 25,
I was hoping our friends were watching on ironmanlive.
We finally got to turn left instead of going straight,
Headed up the shoot, and man that felt great.
We jogged down the shoot, finally and end to this game,
Heard Mike Reilly perfectly pronounce MacLeod but butcher my name.
I heard him say `they just met during the race.'
Looked at Monica who had a shiteating grin on her face.
We crossed the line hand in hand and all those crazy miles
I can tell you that we couldn't have had a much bigger smiles.
She went to med and I went for food,
Got a massage from some kind-of-strange dude.

I couldn't think of anything better than to finish with Mon,
though to make it less painful, I could've done a couple more runs long.

Her dad and I collected our gear and our bikes,
Checked my facebook and liked all the likes.
Went to check on the lady over at med,
She looked pretty good and proud of her new triathlon street cred.
We loaded up the car and headed for the room,
Got a burger from Wendy's, happy we avoided certain doom.


Well we wanted to finish and that's how I ran my race,
Hand in hand with Monica and a smile on my face.
I have to thank so many a friend,
But let's face it, I'll forget someone in the end.
So I'll just leave it, and say thank you all so so so much
I will NOT be doing another one. Nope never again. And such.
Mostly, though, I am so proud of my wife,
The toughest, baddest-ass, strongest person in my life.
She forced me sometimes at 5, for heaven's sake!
And we all know how much I hate to awake.
We made it through the journey, and that was the key,
And finished together, just you and me.