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2013-02-03 11:22 PM

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Subject: Triathlon before a wedding?
Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 


2013-02-03 11:27 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:22 PM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

I love this - I'd say do it.  on my wedding day I was on the beach having a swim  a beer and a few cigarettes (oh clearly before triathlon came into my life!)  My future husband phones me and says where the heck are you????  I said, well I'm at the beach with my friends - I looked at my watch I had about ten minutes before hair and make up etc needed to be done!  I had a great day doing the things that i loved before the big ceremony etc.  No nerves at all.

2013-02-03 11:29 PM
in reply to: #4607089

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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
Best case, you sleep on the couch on your wedding day

Worse Case, she says no during the vows
2013-02-03 11:30 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:22 PM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

On another note...did you not plan the day together?  How come she chose the date...?

2013-02-03 11:35 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
jobaxas - 2013-02-03 9:30 PM

jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:22 PM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

On another note...did you not plan the day together?  How come she chose the date...?

she more or less planned the date for when her parents would be able to make it to town... timing sucked!

2013-02-03 11:38 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

My first thought was why the date of the wedding wasn't mutually agreed upon.  It sounds like she just picked a date and told you after she made her decision.  Not very good communication.  Wouldn't you talk through something that important?

 



2013-02-03 11:40 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
jkossman - 2013-02-03 9:35 PM
jobaxas - 2013-02-03 9:30 PM

jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:22 PM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

On another note...did you not plan the day together?  How come she chose the date...?

she more or less planned the date for when her parents would be able to make it to town... timing sucked!

So if the wedding was a week later her parents wouldn't be able to make it to town?  What else do they have going on that so limits their schedule?



Edited by popsracer 2013-02-03 11:41 PM
2013-02-03 11:44 PM
in reply to: #4607103

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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
popsracer - 2013-02-03 9:40 PM
jkossman - 2013-02-03 9:35 PM
jobaxas - 2013-02-03 9:30 PM

jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:22 PM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

On another note...did you not plan the day together?  How come she chose the date...?

she more or less planned the date for when her parents would be able to make it to town... timing sucked!

So if the wedding was a week later her parents wouldn't be able to make it to town?  What else do they have going on that so limits their schedule?

they live and work out of country... it's kinda a hit or miss when they can travel.

2013-02-03 11:54 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:44 PM
popsracer - 2013-02-03 9:40 PM
jkossman - 2013-02-03 9:35 PM
jobaxas - 2013-02-03 9:30 PM

jkossman - 2013-02-04 4:22 PM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

On another note...did you not plan the day together?  How come she chose the date...?

she more or less planned the date for when her parents would be able to make it to town... timing sucked!

So if the wedding was a week later her parents wouldn't be able to make it to town?  What else do they have going on that so limits their schedule?

they live and work out of country... it's kinda a hit or miss when they can travel.

. Ok hate to say this mate your triathlon will be there next year or another one after the wedding. This is one of the biggest days of your life certainly the biggest if hers before kids. Commit yourself to it tell her you've pulled out she will love you for that even more!!! Congratulations!!!
2013-02-03 11:54 PM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

Well, I'd come to some understanding with her and not just do it anyway thinking she wouldn't know what you did that morning.  More bad communication is not a good way to start things.

Is she generally supportive of your training and racing?  If so, I'd let the race go.  If not, you got problems.

 

 

2013-02-04 12:19 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

How early is the tri vs. the ceremony? Usually the women need to start getting ready about 4 hours earlier than the men, so you should have plenty of time for a sprint while hair and makeup is happening. I spent my wedding morning drinking pre-noon beers with my groomsmen, which seems more problematic (from a bride's stance) than a quick SBR.


I'm in a similar predicament, as my wife is due to have our second baby two weeks after my first HIM. I told her if she goes into labor before the race then I'll cancel but if I'm already on the bike she should just focus on her breathing and I'll promise a record finish.



2013-02-04 1:58 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
You gotta go for it. I had a great round of golf with friends pre wedding. If you're running late just give her a call and like Daniel says tell her to focus on breathing, you'll be there soon. 
2013-02-04 4:35 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
Danielfberlin - 2013-02-04 5:19 PM

How early is the tri vs. the ceremony? Usually the women need to start getting ready about 4 hours earlier than the men, so you should have plenty of time for a sprint while hair and makeup is happening. I spent my wedding morning drinking pre-noon beers with my groomsmen, which seems more problematic (from a bride's stance) than a quick SBR.


I'm in a similar predicament, as my wife is due to have our second baby two weeks after my first HIM. I told her if she goes into labor before the race then I'll cancel but if I'm already on the bike she should just focus on her breathing and I'll promise a record finish.

you must let us know how that goes - you may not be able to remove that bike from where she shoves it
2013-02-04 4:47 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
I'd still go for it. With kids there could always be the next one. Actually that could apply to the wedding as well...
2013-02-04 6:36 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
Danielfberlin - 2013-02-04 1:19 AM

How early is the tri vs. the ceremony? Usually the women need to start getting ready about 4 hours earlier than the men, so you should have plenty of time for a sprint while hair and makeup is happening. I spent my wedding morning drinking pre-noon beers with my groomsmen, which seems more problematic (from a bride's stance) than a quick SBR.


I'm in a similar predicament, as my wife is due to have our second baby two weeks after my first HIM. I told her if she goes into labor before the race then I'll cancel but if I'm already on the bike she should just focus on her breathing and I'll promise a record finish.

did you forget the sarc font?

2013-02-04 7:03 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

How hard do you pan to race?  Maybe she's thinking of your endurance for the evening... Do you really want to be sore/tired on your wedding night? 

Or maybe you're supposed to entertain her dad?  Or be around for any last minute organizational issues that she's too busy to handle because she needs 4-8 hours for hair/makeup?

I'd personally not do more than the sprint, but if she has something she'd like you to help with, I'd skip racing altogether.  You'll have lots of races in your life, but probably only a couple weddings.



Edited by Zero2Athlete 2013-02-04 7:06 AM


2013-02-04 7:26 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

My 2 cents...

 

What's more important... a race or your life together?  She's already stated she would prefer you not do it.  Not a great way to start a life together by ignoring her request (even if it is not 100% fair) and going behind her back.

Also keep in mind the worst thing that could happen is NOT "you'll be tired".  I had a 1/2 IM where I woke up in the back of an ambulance because a truck pulled out in front of me.  Try explaining that one when you're late.

It's juts a race.  Your wedding day is more important.

I'll also echo the comment that the communication could be a bit better.

 

2013-02-04 7:29 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

And the glaring thing to me is this: what kind of relationship are you expecting in the future when you have a race planned, and she simply picks a date and expects you to drop everything because of it. The "or else" part really sticks out to me.

Dude, this does not bode well for you.

2013-02-04 7:35 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

jkossman - 2013-02-04 12:22 AM Ok, so here is my life... I ask my girlfriend if she would marry me, and she says YES!  Makes me a very happy man! Then she decides to plan the wedding date for the same day I already have a Half-Ironman race planned.  She says I better not race the morning of our wedding or else...... and my reply was, 'since we can not see each other till the actual wedding anyway, how will you know what I do in the morning?'  So I was thinking about changing from the Half and only doing a Sprint distance so I wouldn't be too tired and late for the ceremony... Am I wrong by doing a race in the morning or is it a good relaxing thing to calm the butterflies before a big wedding???? 

a race planned or a race paid for??  if it's just a plan, find a different race, bro. 

but, yeesh the poor communication and selfishness on both sides of this conversation is a little scary.  (sorry for sounding harsh, but we don't really have a lot of info to work with, and i'm sure it's not as bad as it sounds)

2013-02-04 7:54 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
I wouldn't do it. What if someone kicks you in the face during the swim and gives you a black eye or busted nose or something? Or, what if there is a crash on the bike course and a trip to the ER is in order (or you're covered in painful road rash)? Just go for a nice solo run or swim that morning and race another day. Congrats on the pending nuptuals.

Edited by LaurenSU02 2013-02-04 7:56 AM
2013-02-04 7:59 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

I'd talk to her about doing the sprint race.  Then treat it just like a fun training day.  Some guys golf or grab a few beers before the wedding.  As long as there aren't any possible time constraints, then she should be amendable to this.

Tell her your other option is to join your buddies at the local strip bar.



2013-02-04 8:04 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
briderdt - 2013-02-04 8:29 AM

And the glaring thing to me is this: what kind of relationship are you expecting in the future when you have a race planned, and she simply picks a date and expects you to drop everything because of it. The "or else" part really sticks out to me.

Dude, this does not bode well for you.

 

I'll cut the OP some slack for possible palyfulness in his original post.  Perhaps there was communication and he agreed that it was the best date to do the wedding.  And the"Or else" part...I know a lot of people (I'm one of them) that would tease like that...When I've claimed that my significant other required something "or else," it really just meant that they expressed that something is important to them, and since their happiness is not less important than my own, I'll usually want to find a way to accomodate them if they'll beneift from their thing more than I'd benefit from mine...If you're a couple, whatever results in the greatest net benefit gets priority, right?  If an actual ultimatum was thrown down, then...yeah.  No bueno.

2013-02-04 8:57 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

If she was infinitely cool and you infinitely stupid I say go for it.  Would be a cool story to tell if everything went perfectly but too many things could go wrong here.

What would super suck is the night before the wedding.  To be honest, for an A race I am about as crazed the night before as I was the night before I was married. 

Too much to do.

Now if it was a simple 10k or HM then that would be a different story....

2013-02-04 9:00 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?

there are plenty of other races.  That being said, there are also plenty of weekends in a year.  Agree upon a date together. Her parents can't make it any other weekend? Come on now...

But don't race and do the wedding.  Thats just asking for an ER visit or flat tire or some other sort of last minute panic you don't need for a wedding. My friend and I were almost late for hers due to a flat tire on a bike ride.

2013-02-04 9:04 AM
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Subject: RE: Triathlon before a wedding?
turtlegirl - 2013-02-04 10:00 AM

there are plenty of other races. 

There are plenty of other chicks.

 

 

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