Did you know your kids aren't yours? (Page 6)

Tony's comments made me think of this book I read about a few years ago.

It's called "Generation Me", and it came out in 2006. It's a study of the ME Generation. (Everyone born in the 70s,80s,90s). He did a 12 year study comparing the "happiness" rating of our generation with people who were born in the prior generation using the responses of a questionaire given to over 1.2 million people.

I personally think that it provides some insight as to why, even though ours is the first American generation ever to be taught from childhood to put our own needs above those of someone else's, we are overall more unhappy than any of those in prior generations. 

That translates to marriage and family values. And whether or not separation is the best thing, both the march toward separation and the resulting instability of it is hard on kids. it just is. 

My husband and I have gone through rough patches. Our marriage could have gone either way. No abuse involved, but surely mistakes on both sides. We chose to work things out. I'm glad we did. I'm sure my son is too. 

Go back to the original exchange between Meh and I about it being socioeconomic vs # of parents. # of parents has a socioeconomic impact! That was the extent of my statement. You can research for yourself the socioeconomic impact on crime rates, dropout rates, educational achievement, etc.

(see bolded sentence above)  I'm in my late 30's (born in the '70's) and I can honestly tell you I don't remember ever being taught to put my needs above those of others.  I just don't.  

btw, I was 5 when my parents divorced...and I'm quite happy that occurred.  Likewise, no abuse in their situation, but I am who I am today because of the dissolution of a bad marriage.  I'm still poopin' rainbows after 15+ years of marriage as well with the greatest wife and kids in the world.  Dr. Huxtable, Steven Keaton, and Dr. Jason Seaver provided me wonderful examples of great dads...single dad Tony Macelli wasn't bad either!  I will say I feel sorry for this generation because I don't know of any tv dads kids can look up to anymore.  :/

I do agree with Tony when it comes to stable families.  But, the tough part is determining how best to encourage a stable family structure.  Strong family values are great, but unfortunately those who beat the drum of family values most strongly tend to be out of touch right-wing religious ideologues whose interpretation of "family values" is extremely narrow and outdated (think Rick Santorum)  I think outlawing gay marriage is preposterous and does nothing to serve the nation's best interests.  Let gay folks be gay.  Their marriages don't affect my marriage one bit...but that's for another thread on another day...

I don't think it's so much that we were taught, it's more that we weren't necessarily corrected.  From the moment we're born we're naturally very selfish.  "it's all about ME", "I'm hungry, i don't care what you just went through mom... feed me now.... waaah".  However, as we grow up we have historically been taught to put others in front of ourselves through many different ways.  Hold the door for people, stop and help a stranger change a flat, welcome a new neighbor to the community.  There's probably 1000 examples, but they generally add up to us being polite, kind, and thinking about others before ourselves.

***For the record, I did not have any part of bringing gay marriage into this discussion and avoided it completely... Please take note. 

Tony, what I was trying to get at was, how was I (or anybody born in the '70's or later) raised differently than those before us?  Kate mentioned this Me generation thing, and I was genuinely stumped.  It was put forth that my generation was taught to put our own needs above those of others.  I'm not necessarily buying that.  If the previous generation was raised to put others before themselves, why did they not raise their children the way they were raised?

I apologize for the mention of gay marriage btw.  It was off-topic.  I've gotta work on containing tangent thoughts!  The whole "family values" term evokes the Santorums and Huckabees of the world that subconsciously fires me up.  Sorry 'bout that.

 Going back to the OP, I'm just not a fan of the message she's delivering.  I've never been a big fan of the "it takes a village" philosophy.  

Why don't you ask a teacher who has 30 to 40 years of teaching experience if kids attitudes/behaviors have changed over the last 40 years.? (along with those of parents)

I think that would give you a good understanding of the (overall) change in social philosophy over the last several decades. 

Left Brain - 2013-04-12 9:35 AM I was born in 1960 and Kate is right.....ya'll are a pain in the arse.

Well that would make you part of the Boomer Gen so it is still your fault since these are the Boomer Gens kids who weren't taught right!

trinnas - 2013-04-12 8:36 AM

Left Brain - 2013-04-12 9:35 AM I was born in 1960 and Kate is right.....ya'll are a pain in the arse.

Well that would make you part of the Boomer Gen so it is still your fault since these are the Boomer Gens kids who weren't taught right!

Sort of.  My parents were only 17 and 16 when I was born, so they were true Boomers.  Unlike most Boomers, it was my Grandfather and not my father who fought in WWII, my father actually served in Vietnam.

Left Brain - 2013-04-12 9:43 AM

trinnas - 2013-04-12 8:36 AM

Left Brain - 2013-04-12 9:35 AM I was born in 1960 and Kate is right.....ya'll are a pain in the arse.

Well that would make you part of the Boomer Gen so it is still your fault since these are the Boomer Gens kids who weren't taught right!

Sort of.  My parents were only 17 and 16 when I was born, so they were true Boomers.  Unlike most Boomers, it was my Grandfather and not my father who fought in WWII, my father actually served in Vietnam.

 

Yeah I am just the other side of the Boomers, both of my grandfathers fought in WWII, but still a 60s child. 

Better yet, we could look back at the writings of teachers prior to this generation to see if this is something that happens every generation.  Has there been a generation of teachers that heartily expresses just how much better the new generation is?  The point I'm getting at is that every generation moans and complains about the next.  It happens with music.  It happens with style.  It happens with social behavior, culture, etc.  

Yet we still march forward.  Technological growth still manages to accelerate.  Yes, the negative headlines will appear to accelerate as well.  But of course they're going to because negative news sells.  Last I heard (because it was barely audible) is that we are currently experiencing the lowest teen birth rate ever in the United States.  Good news doesn't sell...now I've gotta go yell at those young whippersnappers on my lawn!!!

But it is interesting though that if one visits another culture, with a different set of cultural values, one does see a difference. I've experienced that in teaching overseas. 

^Yes, and in many instances those cultural differences have been there for a long, long time.  I'd love to hear some unfiltered opinions from those lands about what they think of "this new generation."  I would betcha their opinions of the current generation would be a bit less flattering than that of the older generation.

Plus, as bad a rap as we give the younger generation here in the States, I'd rather be a girl here in the U.S. than anywhere outside of the western world.  Every area, every generation, has its plusses and minuses.  It's easy to fall into the trap of romanticizing the prior generation.   

I attended a lecture given by a history prof who looked a this very topic via writings and letters by more aged authors across many cultures through the last 2500 years or so and came to this very conclusion.  Every generation thinks the one following them is bereft of morals, has no work ethic, will generally ruin the community/country/culture/whatever, and they all yearn for "the good old days."

So get off my lawn and get to work, you young whipper-snappers!

My above comment based on yours, but my original statement was based on the book "Me Generation". I don't think the premise of the book was to criticize the current gen. per say, but it was studying an over the years shift in regards to the concept of building "self esteem" over achievement, and the impact that's had on modern society. 

Anyway, the book is good and I can't say what I really mean in a few sentences. One just gets misunderstood.  

The only thing I'd throw in for the current generation is their level of change (good or bad) is probably greater than in any other generational change in history.  From 1920 to 1940 there wasn't a lot of change in the world as far as kids growing up;  Dad played with a stick and hoop, kids played with a stick and hoop. However, from 1990 to 2010 we went from no internet, no cellphones, no social media, etc...  It is an interesting thing to think about though.

Personally, I fall into the camp that people in general are a lot more rude and selfish today.  I think both adults and children changed through the last twenty to thirty years due to the culture/technology shift that transpired.

Truth

Well, 30 years ago, stupid teens couldn't assault someone and then immediately post pics of the attack with Instagram... It's a lot easier to do really dumb stupid stuff a lot faster.

A divorce attorney survey claims that FB figures into a third of all divorces. 

lol, you're bringing back some memories now.  I was around 150 lbs. and played nose tackle on our Class 4A (that would be the big schools) varsity football team.  I think I'd have to be 250+ to play there today.

Been there, done that! Well except for the bit about the porn, I was an angel!