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2013-05-29 10:36 AM
in reply to: RussTKD

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by RussTKD
Originally posted by juniperjen

Generally people are very positive about what I do.  Many have even said it's inspirational and I know with a few people (my sisters in particular) they've been able to get into it doing half marathons and other run races.

The funniest though was a colleague who asked me basically why on earth I would want to do an ironman as I was gushing about training for it - and lots of people I wouldn't talk to about it but the kicker is she's a marathoner.  I thought of all people she would understand and had just spent time telling me about doing the NYC Marathon.  

You just never know who will think it's awesome and who will be scratching their head. 

Since she's a marathoner, she knows how hard it is to run a marathon.  The idea of swimming 2.4 miles and riding 112 miles before running a marathon is more daunting to her than it is to a couch dweller.

 

I think it's important to understand that alot of people don't consider an Ironman daunting....they consider it stupid.  To some degree they have a point as far as I'm concerned.  I've been fit my whole life.....and very happy with short course triathlon whenever I felt like it.  Training for an Ironman puts alot of stress on alot of phases of my life.....when it's over in September I will never do another.  It's alot of excercise, that's all.  I realize that for some it holds some great value in their life, and I think that's great....but most people don't care or they think it's ridiculous, and I get that too.



2013-05-29 10:44 AM
in reply to: noelle1230

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by noelle1230
Originally posted by Kido
Originally posted by noelle1230

For those who say, "I just don't bring up my hobbies", what do you say when someone asks you what you do for fun?  Do you just lie and say "nothing" because someone might either not like it, or not really care?  That seems silly.

If someone asks me, "what did you do yesterday" and I did a race, or even a long workout for a race, I say so.  Why hide stuff just because you may not like the response you get?

This has a lot less to do with triathlon and a lot more to do with people who are just negative in general.  I don't think it really matters what you say you do for a hobby--some people will find a way to put a negative spin on it regardless of what it is.  It's called insecurity.  People are too lazy or too comfortable in their little boxes to pursue things they say they want to do, so they have to bust on you because you're out there stepping out of the comfort zone and pursuing your passions.  It doesn't matter if it's triathlon, joining a book club, underwater basket weaving, etc.

Anyone who has to rip on someone else's hobbies is kind of sad.  Asking questions, not a problem for me, who cares if they ask 20 questions or don't seem to get the appeal of my hobby?  But talking about my hobbies, then hearing what's interesting or appealing to them instead, that's just called having a social conversation.

The negative nellies are going to be negative no matter what comes out of your mouth and unfortunately, some of them may be your family members!  Just keep talking about whatever you find interesting and don't worry about what someone else's reaction might be.

I'm curios how you equate "not bringing up your hobbies" to lying and hiding what I do based on a possible negative response.

In my world, it's different to blurt out "I rode 70 miles yesterday" to somehow strike up a conversation, than if someone ASKS me what I did and my response is "rode 70 miles".

Most people don't care I rode 70 miles (or triathlon), so I don't bring it up.  But if someone asks me what I did, why would I consider lying about it?  I would answer to be polite that I rode.

Not sure of the leap in logic that not STARTING a triathlon conversation means I'm also going to lie/hide it if asked.

I'm sure there are lots of topics that people may not bring up, but will answer honestly if asked.

I'll make it simple, apply it to a real life situation.

I raced Saturday.  I did really well, my efforts paid off, I was happy.  Didn't do much else that day.

Went to a party Sunday, some people I knew, some I didn't.  As we walked in, someone asked what we've been up to this weekend.  I said I raced yesterday.  A few people seemed interested, asked details.  I answered, said I was happy with the results.  After a few minutes, no one was interested any longer and the topic changed.

Why when asked what I did this weekend would I say "nothing"?  It was the highlight of my day, I shared it.  I don't care if people think it's a stupid hobby or a waste of time.

If I'm excited about something related to my hobbies, I'm going to share it.  Maybe lying was the wrong word--I'm not going to filter talk about triathlon or any other hobby when it's relevant to the conversation.  Why should I?

I'll make it simpler. 

When I say I don't bring it up.  That means I don't start the conversation going down that line.  That does NOT mean I lie/hide/or filter if ASKED.

I also don't bring up my cancer battle - it's not an enjoyable topic.  But if someone ASKS, I will share openly about it.

So I guess answering your original question to the people "that don't bring it up" what the response is if someone ASKS what I do for fun?  I wouldn't lie, I don't hide, or filter my response - why on earth would I?  They asked for god's sake and it would only be polite to respond to their inquiry.

I still think hiding or filtering a response to a question is worlds apart from deciding to simply not start a conversation about triathlon with non triathletes.

2013-05-29 10:51 AM
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Subject: RE: Very negative response

Originally posted by Left Brain Tonight I trained for 2 hours, drank 3 bottles of wine, watched 4 "My Three Sons" reruns, and then called some people I haven't seen for years and told them all about my escapades (is that a word??).  One said he didn't care, one said i sounded like a drunk, one said I needed to back away from the remote, and one, a girl, said that if I was working out that much every day I was welcome to come over.  In the end, I drank another bottle of wine, watched the third period of the LA/San Jose hockey game, ate 3 twinkies and 2 ice cream sandwiches, did 2 push ups and a sit up and called it a night. I was more wore out then this thread.

LB... Dude.. "twinkies"? tmi. You are wrecking the tough locker room guy image I have of you. 

 

And to the OP.. a pic of those speedos does not count.. You need to post a pic of yourself in them on  the BT Boys 2013 thread,

thank you very much



Edited by KateTri1 2013-05-29 10:54 AM
2013-05-29 10:53 AM
in reply to: dbrook1

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by dbrook1
Originally posted by Kido

That's weird that anyone would look negatively at exercising.  Maybe it's retaliation if you are rubbing it in their faces about how active you are?  It's a put off to hear someone go on and on about how much they train.  May want to knock them down a notch, perhaps?

I generally don't talk about tri.  I'm sure they don't care about it and I don't care how they spend their time.

I find it interesting that people are upset that someone speaks negatively about doing triathlon in our spare time and how unfair/rude/jealousy/whatever it is...  Then in the same breath, speak negatively about someone drinking wine or watching TV in THEIR free time.  If you don't like someone speaking ill of your activity then speak ill about theirs?  hmmmm

As for me?  I watch TV for four hours a day, work for 8-9 AND train for an IM during the season (along with keeping a healthy marriage going).  So I'm a loser for watching TV or a stud for training 12-15 hours a week?  Good thing is, it doesn't matter to me if you think I'm a loser OR a stud based on what I personally like to do in my free time.

Not sure if you're responding to my original post or not, but I think it was clear I was not rubbing anything in anyone's faces.  In addition, I did not speak negatively about their drinking wine and watching TV; I was providing a sampling of the responses I got (I personally watch as much TV as I can with 2 kids 10yrs old, dog, constant house upkeep/remodeling, work, training, etc).  I completely agree with your self-assessment in that I don't care what people think because I enjoy what I'm doing and know it's great for my health and better than the majority of things I could be doing.  Glad to see you're also comfortable with yourself and your activities.  Makes life easier, doesn't it?

I was responding to the entire string of threads that were "inspired" by your original post - where there was talk about TV watching, etc.

I also don't know if you "rubbed their face in it" or not.  I would assume you felt you didn't.  However, that may or may not be for you to decide.  It's the other person.  To YOU, it could be simple conversation.  To others that feel insecure, they could take it as someone bragging about what they did.  You even eluded to it yourself with the jealousy comment (along with the other possible reasons).

I'm not saying anyone is wrong or right - purely perception.

I think IM's are cool, some people think they are crazy.  I think doing double marathons is crazy, or sky diving, or motorcross is crazy.  Other people think they are cool.  Thank the stars we are all different otherwise the world would be a boring place.

2013-05-29 11:00 AM
in reply to: KateTri1

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by KateTri1

Originally posted by Left Brain Tonight I trained for 2 hours, drank 3 bottles of wine, watched 4 "My Three Sons" reruns, and then called some people I haven't seen for years and told them all about my escapades (is that a word??).  One said he didn't care, one said i sounded like a drunk, one said I needed to back away from the remote, and one, a girl, said that if I was working out that much every day I was welcome to come over.  In the end, I drank another bottle of wine, watched the third period of the LA/San Jose hockey game, ate 3 twinkies and 2 ice cream sandwiches, did 2 push ups and a sit up and called it a night. I was more wore out then this thread.

LB... Dude.. "twinkies"? tmi. You are wrecking the tough locker room guy image I have of you. 

 

And to the OP.. a pic of those speedos does not count.. You need to post a pic of yourself in them on  the BT Boys 2013 thread,

thank you very much

Not to worry, I had already beat up some crazy 70 year old dude using a hair dryer on his unit. Laughing

2013-05-29 11:36 AM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
My son has $20 riding on the first time he wears Speedos in a meet.



2013-05-29 11:51 AM
in reply to: Kido

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by Kido
Originally posted by dbrook1
Originally posted by Kido

That's weird that anyone would look negatively at exercising.  Maybe it's retaliation if you are rubbing it in their faces about how active you are?  It's a put off to hear someone go on and on about how much they train.  May want to knock them down a notch, perhaps?

I generally don't talk about tri.  I'm sure they don't care about it and I don't care how they spend their time.

I find it interesting that people are upset that someone speaks negatively about doing triathlon in our spare time and how unfair/rude/jealousy/whatever it is...  Then in the same breath, speak negatively about someone drinking wine or watching TV in THEIR free time.  If you don't like someone speaking ill of your activity then speak ill about theirs?  hmmmm

As for me?  I watch TV for four hours a day, work for 8-9 AND train for an IM during the season (along with keeping a healthy marriage going).  So I'm a loser for watching TV or a stud for training 12-15 hours a week?  Good thing is, it doesn't matter to me if you think I'm a loser OR a stud based on what I personally like to do in my free time.

Not sure if you're responding to my original post or not, but I think it was clear I was not rubbing anything in anyone's faces.  In addition, I did not speak negatively about their drinking wine and watching TV; I was providing a sampling of the responses I got (I personally watch as much TV as I can with 2 kids 10yrs old, dog, constant house upkeep/remodeling, work, training, etc).  I completely agree with your self-assessment in that I don't care what people think because I enjoy what I'm doing and know it's great for my health and better than the majority of things I could be doing.  Glad to see you're also comfortable with yourself and your activities.  Makes life easier, doesn't it?

I was responding to the entire string of threads that were "inspired" by your original post - where there was talk about TV watching, etc.

I also don't know if you "rubbed their face in it" or not.  I would assume you felt you didn't.  However, that may or may not be for you to decide.  It's the other person.  To YOU, it could be simple conversation.  To others that feel insecure, they could take it as someone bragging about what they did.  You even eluded to it yourself with the jealousy comment (along with the other possible reasons).

I'm not saying anyone is wrong or right - purely perception.

I think IM's are cool, some people think they are crazy.  I think doing double marathons is crazy, or sky diving, or motorcross is crazy.  Other people think they are cool.  Thank the stars we are all different otherwise the world would be a boring place.

It's not that I don't feel I rubbed it anyone's face--I KNOW I didn't because I did not discuss triathlon in any way...  My wife mentioned I was training for a couple.  That was it.  Nothing more, nothing less.  That is when the negative responses immediately poured out.  I also did not say anyone was jealous.  I asked what other responses people got and mentioned some possiblities.  Despite my not being the greatest communicator, if you look at my OP, I believe those points were made clear.

I'm done with this one.  Thanks again for all of your input.  You are all invaluable sources of information that I will continue to utilize.  Peace out!

2013-05-29 12:24 PM
in reply to: Left Brain

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by Left Brain
Originally posted by RussTKD
Originally posted by juniperjen

Generally people are very positive about what I do.  Many have even said it's inspirational and I know with a few people (my sisters in particular) they've been able to get into it doing half marathons and other run races.

The funniest though was a colleague who asked me basically why on earth I would want to do an ironman as I was gushing about training for it - and lots of people I wouldn't talk to about it but the kicker is she's a marathoner.  I thought of all people she would understand and had just spent time telling me about doing the NYC Marathon.  

You just never know who will think it's awesome and who will be scratching their head. 

Since she's a marathoner, she knows how hard it is to run a marathon.  The idea of swimming 2.4 miles and riding 112 miles before running a marathon is more daunting to her than it is to a couch dweller.

 

I think it's important to understand that alot of people don't consider an Ironman daunting....they consider it stupid.  To some degree they have a point as far as I'm concerned.  I've been fit my whole life.....and very happy with short course triathlon whenever I felt like it.  Training for an Ironman puts alot of stress on alot of phases of my life.....when it's over in September I will never do another.  It's alot of excercise, that's all.  I realize that for some it holds some great value in their life, and I think that's great....but most people don't care or they think it's ridiculous, and I get that too.

 

There's a certain level of stupidity with any athletic endeavor.  It's just a matter of how stupid do you want to be.

2013-05-29 12:25 PM
in reply to: dbrook1

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Outside of work and a few club members, most people don't know what I do on my off time. They eventually find out by a close friend or going on my facebook - but otherwise I don't mentioned it. I'm generally more interested in what other people do with their time/life and if they enjoy it, I want to know more.

I'm usually in 3 kinds of conversation if it gets into active lifestyle:

1. If they enjoy running or working out at the gym 6 days a week, I would like to know their routine and motivation. If they ask back, I would say i do a bit of everything.

2. If they want to get together for a social active gathering, I figure out what they want to do, conditioning level, and make up my mind about setting one up.

3. If they're negative about it, i do a positive association with their interests hobbies. It's just like their hobbies, but different. Sometime a parallelism is needed.

People really don't need to tear other people down to build themselves up.
2013-05-29 12:47 PM
in reply to: dbrook1

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
Originally posted by dbrook1
Originally posted by Kido
Originally posted by dbrook1
Originally posted by Kido

That's weird that anyone would look negatively at exercising.  Maybe it's retaliation if you are rubbing it in their faces about how active you are?  It's a put off to hear someone go on and on about how much they train.  May want to knock them down a notch, perhaps?

I generally don't talk about tri.  I'm sure they don't care about it and I don't care how they spend their time.

I find it interesting that people are upset that someone speaks negatively about doing triathlon in our spare time and how unfair/rude/jealousy/whatever it is...  Then in the same breath, speak negatively about someone drinking wine or watching TV in THEIR free time.  If you don't like someone speaking ill of your activity then speak ill about theirs?  hmmmm

As for me?  I watch TV for four hours a day, work for 8-9 AND train for an IM during the season (along with keeping a healthy marriage going).  So I'm a loser for watching TV or a stud for training 12-15 hours a week?  Good thing is, it doesn't matter to me if you think I'm a loser OR a stud based on what I personally like to do in my free time.

Not sure if you're responding to my original post or not, but I think it was clear I was not rubbing anything in anyone's faces.  In addition, I did not speak negatively about their drinking wine and watching TV; I was providing a sampling of the responses I got (I personally watch as much TV as I can with 2 kids 10yrs old, dog, constant house upkeep/remodeling, work, training, etc).  I completely agree with your self-assessment in that I don't care what people think because I enjoy what I'm doing and know it's great for my health and better than the majority of things I could be doing.  Glad to see you're also comfortable with yourself and your activities.  Makes life easier, doesn't it?

I was responding to the entire string of threads that were "inspired" by your original post - where there was talk about TV watching, etc.

I also don't know if you "rubbed their face in it" or not.  I would assume you felt you didn't.  However, that may or may not be for you to decide.  It's the other person.  To YOU, it could be simple conversation.  To others that feel insecure, they could take it as someone bragging about what they did.  You even eluded to it yourself with the jealousy comment (along with the other possible reasons).

I'm not saying anyone is wrong or right - purely perception.

I think IM's are cool, some people think they are crazy.  I think doing double marathons is crazy, or sky diving, or motorcross is crazy.  Other people think they are cool.  Thank the stars we are all different otherwise the world would be a boring place.

It's not that I don't feel I rubbed it anyone's face--I KNOW I didn't because I did not discuss triathlon in any way...  My wife mentioned I was training for a couple.  That was it.  Nothing more, nothing less.  That is when the negative responses immediately poured out.  I also did not say anyone was jealous.  I asked what other responses people got and mentioned some possiblities.  Despite my not being the greatest communicator, if you look at my OP, I believe those points were made clear.

I'm done with this one.  Thanks again for all of your input.  You are all invaluable sources of information that I will continue to utilize.  Peace out!

Relax.  It's just a conversation.  Not all posts are specifically tied to YOUR post - just the conversation in general.  I wasn't accusing you of anything.  Just talking about perceptions.

I'm sure you did nothing wrong and it probably was sarcasm/incredulity/negativity/admiration/jealousy/all of the above.

I wouldn't sweat it.  If you like doing it, knock yourself out.  It doesn't matter what they think.  Just what you and your wife think.

I probably would steer clear of that topic though if they are that negative and calling you an idiot for doing it.  No point going through the brain damage.

2013-05-29 2:29 PM
in reply to: dbrook1

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Subject: RE: Very negative response
I think talking about triathlon as a hobby is different than talking about playing the piano for example because some self conscious people will equate a person's discussion about triathlon as they're a better person because they're fit...

I truly believe many non-athletes harbor some resentment towards those who are....Either because they wish they personally were active OR because they hate athletics (and all they stand for) and want nothing to do with it..

Don't get me wrong though, I love talking about training and whether it's with others who train or someone who's genuinely interested in what I'm doing, I think it's great.... I just try to be cognizant that not everyone will share the same view...


2013-05-30 9:04 AM
in reply to: TriMike


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Subject: RE: Very negative response
"You look great! What have you been doing?"

Triathlons. Nothing major like an Ironman. Just little ones.

"Seriously? That seems rather extreme!"

Well, the doc said my weight was extreme too. Never do anything halfway, I suppose.

"I've heard that all that running is really bad for your knees."

The doc was doing fist pumps, giving me high fives, and hugging me when I told her. Knees really didn't enter into it.

"Do you actually win?"

Nope. Never. They have a special category for big fat guys and I don't win that either. But there's nothing like an upcoming one-mile swim in a river to focus your diet and workouts. The race does nothing for me but force me to exercise. You can't cram for an endurance event.

"Well, anyway, you look great."
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