Very negative response (Page 3)

Originally posted by blueyedbikergirl

The response is different in my family depending on which family member you ask... my dad (who has been active for his entire life) loves it and supports me in my MOP triathlon endeavours.  My brother hasn't gone faster than a walk in about 15 years (other than chasing after his 2 kids) and I think lives a bit vicariously through me and likes following my races.  My mom, on the other hand, I would rather not let her know at all what I'm doing.  I'm sure she means well, but her general response is "well, if that's what you want to do..." complete with the facial grimace and eye-roll.  

Thankfully my hubby also does triathlons so we can motivate each other along the way and complain about aches, pains and getting up way too early in the morning for training. 

Originally posted by noelle1230

For those who say, "I just don't bring up my hobbies", what do you say when someone asks you what you do for fun?  Do you just lie and say "nothing" because someone might either not like it, or not really care?  That seems silly.

If someone asks me, "what did you do yesterday" and I did a race, or even a long workout for a race, I say so.  Why hide stuff just because you may not like the response you get?

This has a lot less to do with triathlon and a lot more to do with people who are just negative in general.  I don't think it really matters what you say you do for a hobby--some people will find a way to put a negative spin on it regardless of what it is.  It's called insecurity.  People are too lazy or too comfortable in their little boxes to pursue things they say they want to do, so they have to bust on you because you're out there stepping out of the comfort zone and pursuing your passions.  It doesn't matter if it's triathlon, joining a book club, underwater basket weaving, etc.

Anyone who has to rip on someone else's hobbies is kind of sad.  Asking questions, not a problem for me, who cares if they ask 20 questions or don't seem to get the appeal of my hobby?  But talking about my hobbies, then hearing what's interesting or appealing to them instead, that's just called having a social conversation.

The negative nellies are going to be negative no matter what comes out of your mouth and unfortunately, some of them may be your family members!  Just keep talking about whatever you find interesting and don't worry about what someone else's reaction might be.

Originally posted by noelle1230

For those who say, "I just don't bring up my hobbies", what do you say when someone asks you what you do for fun?  Do you just lie and say "nothing" because someone might either not like it, or not really care?  That seems silly.

If someone asks me, "what did you do yesterday" and I did a race, or even a long workout for a race, I say so.  Why hide stuff just because you may not like the response you get?

This has a lot less to do with triathlon and a lot more to do with people who are just negative in general.  I don't think it really matters what you say you do for a hobby--some people will find a way to put a negative spin on it regardless of what it is.  It's called insecurity.  People are too lazy or too comfortable in their little boxes to pursue things they say they want to do, so they have to bust on you because you're out there stepping out of the comfort zone and pursuing your passions.  It doesn't matter if it's triathlon, joining a book club, underwater basket weaving, etc.

Anyone who has to rip on someone else's hobbies is kind of sad.  Asking questions, not a problem for me, who cares if they ask 20 questions or don't seem to get the appeal of my hobby?  But talking about my hobbies, then hearing what's interesting or appealing to them instead, that's just called having a social conversation.

The negative nellies are going to be negative no matter what comes out of your mouth and unfortunately, some of them may be your family members!  Just keep talking about whatever you find interesting and don't worry about what someone else's reaction might be.

Originally posted by Kido

That's weird that anyone would look negatively at exercising.  Maybe it's retaliation if you are rubbing it in their faces about how active you are?  It's a put off to hear someone go on and on about how much they train.  May want to knock them down a notch, perhaps?

I generally don't talk about tri.  I'm sure they don't care about it and I don't care how they spend their time.

I find it interesting that people are upset that someone speaks negatively about doing triathlon in our spare time and how unfair/rude/jealousy/whatever it is...  Then in the same breath, speak negatively about someone drinking wine or watching TV in THEIR free time.  If you don't like someone speaking ill of your activity then speak ill about theirs?  hmmmm

As for me?  I watch TV for four hours a day, work for 8-9 AND train for an IM during the season (along with keeping a healthy marriage going).  So I'm a loser for watching TV or a stud for training 12-15 hours a week?  Good thing is, it doesn't matter to me if you think I'm a loser OR a stud based on what I personally like to do in my free time.

Originally posted by Kido

I'm curios how you equate "not bringing up your hobbies" to lying and hiding what I do based on a possible negative response.

In my world, it's different to blurt out "I rode 70 miles yesterday" to somehow strike up a conversation, than if someone ASKS me what I did and my response is "rode 70 miles".

Most people don't care I rode 70 miles (or triathlon), so I don't bring it up.  But if someone asks me what I did, why would I consider lying about it?  I would answer to be polite that I rode.

Not sure of the leap in logic that not STARTING a triathlon conversation means I'm also going to lie/hide it if asked.

I'm sure there are lots of topics that people may not bring up, but will answer honestly if asked.

Originally posted by Kido

I'm curios how you equate "not bringing up your hobbies" to lying and hiding what I do based on a possible negative response.

In my world, it's different to blurt out "I rode 70 miles yesterday" to somehow strike up a conversation, than if someone ASKS me what I did and my response is "rode 70 miles".

Most people don't care I rode 70 miles (or triathlon), so I don't bring it up.  But if someone asks me what I did, why would I consider lying about it?  I would answer to be polite that I rode.

Not sure of the leap in logic that not STARTING a triathlon conversation means I'm also going to lie/hide it if asked.

I'm sure there are lots of topics that people may not bring up, but will answer honestly if asked.

Originally posted by Kido

That's weird that anyone would look negatively at exercising.  Maybe it's retaliation if you are rubbing it in their faces about how active you are?  It's a put off to hear someone go on and on about how much they train.  May want to knock them down a notch, perhaps?

I generally don't talk about tri.  I'm sure they don't care about it and I don't care how they spend their time.

I find it interesting that people are upset that someone speaks negatively about doing triathlon in our spare time and how unfair/rude/jealousy/whatever it is...  Then in the same breath, speak negatively about someone drinking wine or watching TV in THEIR free time.  If you don't like someone speaking ill of your activity then speak ill about theirs?  hmmmm

As for me?  I watch TV for four hours a day, work for 8-9 AND train for an IM during the season (along with keeping a healthy marriage going).  So I'm a loser for watching TV or a stud for training 12-15 hours a week?  Good thing is, it doesn't matter to me if you think I'm a loser OR a stud based on what I personally like to do in my free time.

Originally posted by tri808 I think you're taking the comments of your friends and family way too seriously and personally. If one of my friends told me they decided to devote 10-15 hours a week of their free time to learn how to play the piano, with their goal to become a middle of the road amateur piano player in 4-5 years, I too would say they are wasting their time, and start making jokes about them. Doesn't mean I should be taken seriously, and that I have some sort of jealousy, negativity, or disdain for their new hobby. It's simply something I wouldn't do myself and I don't understand. It's human nature to make fun of the things we can't comprehend. I make fun of almost half of the Olympic sports because I simply don't "get" them. It doesn't mean I'm right, or should be taken seriously by those who do participate in those sports.

Originally posted by dbrook1

Hi.  I just came from a "family" gathering (not really family, but as close as you can get without being blood).  One of the gals was joking about Speedos and I said I bought one the other day.  She thought I was kidding but my wife confirmed it with the mention that it was actually more like bike shorts.  She (my wife) then said I was planning on doing a couple tris this summer.  The reaction was surprisingly, unanimously negative.  Not just in a kidding way but basically calling me an idiot--Why would you do that? Why waste your time? What's the point? Have fun wasting all that time while I'm sitting on the couch with a glass of wine? etc.  Now let me say this didn't bother me in the least because I dish it out plenty, have very thick skin, and have no need to justify what I'm doing (even though I think I could have pretty easily).  I was however very surprised at this negative response and it led me to wonder what the responses are that you all get/got.  Sarcasm?  Incredulity?  Negativity?  Admiration?  Jealousy?  All of the above?

Duane

Originally posted by guppie58 It's not lying, just some people are overly dramatic about it. Somebody asks me how my day at work is and I say okay, yet there were highs and lows, does saying okay mean I'm lying? Am I suppose to go into detail about my day to avoid 'lying'? Here' s the definition to help: lying Use Lying in a sentence ly·ing1 [lahy-ing] Show IPA noun 1. the telling of lies, or false statements; untruthfulness: From boyhood, he has never been good at lying. Synonyms: falsehood, falsity, mendacity, prevarication. Antonyms: truth, veracity. adjective 2. telling or containing lies; deliberately untruthful; deceitful; false: a lying report. Synonyms: deceptive, misleading, mendacious, fallacious; sham, counterfeit. Antonyms: true, candid, actual, correct, accurate, trustworthy.

Originally posted by noelle1230

It seems you missed my post above.  But thanks for clarifying the definition of the word lying for me.  Love it when people do that.

If you just spent the day busting your a$$ racing, or training hard for an upcoming race for which you are super excited and that race or training session pretty much consumed your whole day(s) and is at the forefront of your brain.......and someone asks, "what did you do today?".......and you say "nothing" because you're worried that the person really doesn't like or care about races and training........yes, that can absolutely qualify as a lie of omission.  Perhaps look up lie of omission and come back to me.

And, you can talk about racing and/or training without being overly dramatic as you say.  My point simply: being super duper into a sport and really passionate about it (or any hobby) then purposefully avoiding ever talking about it in mixed company because someone else might not like it just seems dumb.

Originally posted by MOlsen

Originally posted by juniperjen

Generally people are very positive about what I do.  Many have even said it's inspirational and I know with a few people (my sisters in particular) they've been able to get into it doing half marathons and other run races.

The funniest though was a colleague who asked me basically why on earth I would want to do an ironman as I was gushing about training for it - and lots of people I wouldn't talk to about it but the kicker is she's a marathoner.  I thought of all people she would understand and had just spent time telling me about doing the NYC Marathon.  

You just never know who will think it's awesome and who will be scratching their head. 

Originally posted by Left Brain

Good point.  From now on when someone asked me what I did after I've spent the day busting my arse racing or training I'm going to say, "something".   

Look, I have no worry that they don't like or care about racing or training....I just don't want to talk about it.  I don't want to answer questions about it.  I don't want to explain it, and I damn sure don't want to hear anything about it.  I'll talk about my kids all day....but I'm not interested in talking about what I did.