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Breaking up and seeing your ex at races (Page 2)
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 2013-07-08 1:37 PM in reply to: powerman |
Member  390  |  Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at racesPart of racing / training for a race is the ability to train your mind on focusing on the race and not letting outside situations influence the way you race or the outcome of the race for you. If you feel negative vibes directed at you out power them with your positive vibes. I often tell my students that you are in control of your emotions you can react in a health or unhealthy manner to others behavior. |
| 2013-07-08 1:50 PM in reply to: Hook'em |
Pro 5755  | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by Hook'em Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly So, basically, you can't handle getting chicked? I think HonoluluAngel is a chick. The subject doesn't seem to match the OP's post. The post seems like a work/training relationship gone bad, but the subject implies something more. Either way, quit worrying about the other person. That'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not  I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. |
| 2013-07-08 1:57 PM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Master 2167  Livonia, MI | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhillyThat'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. Ouch....how'd you fare in that race?? Talk about trying not to let stuff get to you mentally when racing! |
| 2013-07-08 1:58 PM in reply to: noelle1230 |
Queen BTich 12411 , | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by noelle1230 Originally posted by BrianRunsPhillyThat'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. Ouch....how'd you fare in that race?? Talk about trying not to let stuff get to you mentally when racing! Yeah...and why didn't one of you just run away?! LOL. You must elaborate here. |
| 2013-07-08 2:00 PM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Regular 5477 LHOTP | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by Hook'em That'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly So, basically, you can't handle getting chicked? I think HonoluluAngel is a chick. The subject doesn't seem to match the OP's post. The post seems like a work/training relationship gone bad, but the subject implies something more. Either way, quit worrying about the other person. I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. Oh that is AWESOME! Sorry, Brian, but that is faching hilarious. Full story please. |
| 2013-07-08 2:10 PM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
| Veteran 183 Honolulu | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Now that's the kind of response I was looking for, could be way worse situation. Thanks |
| 2013-07-08 2:31 PM in reply to: HonoluluAngel |
Expert 1951 | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by HonoluluAngel You had to be there at work to know why I asked to move desks, she would antagonize me so I ended up wearing earphones to get work done. We worked a few feet apart on the same project. It was normal protocol in my firm to move, she just took it too personal when I asked management to move, and then walked off the job. I wanted to remove myself from a very negative situation so I could work without her antics. Same for the race. My post was to ask how a negative vibe affects your race. I'm not worried of her beating me, I'm also 12 yrs older. When she left the company, she was crying hysterically and making a scene. That's high school . I really think people on here have lost the supportive vibe. I understand how it feels to have a close friend/working relationship go bad. It sux. I totally know how you feel. That being said, I agree with the others in the sense that I suggest that you move on. You only really have to concern yourself with your side of the street. I'd go to the event, be polite, smile at her and wish her luck and do your best to focus on the race. It takes a lot of courage to face down difficult people and I don't do well with them so I get it. From what you've said she sounds like she's got a lot of issues. Let them be her's alone. I'd make the effort to let any bad feelings toward her head down the river. |
| 2013-07-08 2:34 PM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Expert 1951 | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by Hook'em That'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly So, basically, you can't handle getting chicked? I think HonoluluAngel is a chick. The subject doesn't seem to match the OP's post. The post seems like a work/training relationship gone bad, but the subject implies something more. Either way, quit worrying about the other person. I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. omg!!! you can't leave us hanging.. either create a new thread with all the dirty details or fess here... Pleazzzzzzeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! |
| 2013-07-08 3:48 PM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Champion 14571 the alamo city, Texas | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by Hook'em That'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly So, basically, you can't handle getting chicked? I think HonoluluAngel is a chick. The subject doesn't seem to match the OP's post. The post seems like a work/training relationship gone bad, but the subject implies something more. Either way, quit worrying about the other person. I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. getting beat by a girl is still getting chicked, whether you are male or female, right?
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| 2013-07-08 4:05 PM in reply to: noelle1230 |
Champion 34263 Chicago | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by noelle1230 Originally posted by BrianRunsPhillyThat'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. Ouch....how'd you fare in that race?? Talk about trying not to let stuff get to you mentally when racing! Yeah! Did you at least beat her to the finish line!? |
| 2013-07-08 4:16 PM in reply to: 0 |
Sensei Sin City | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races I'll play armchair physcologist... Even if I agree with everyone to let the "drama" go and mature adults "shouldn't" feel uncomfortable and such - easier said than done. It's easy for everyone to say "that's stupid, just don't feel that way"... But if that's really how you FEEL, then you need to think about that. Why do you feel intimidated or uncomfortable? Something they are doing? Something you impose on yourself? Still have feelings? Feelings of resentment or betrayal? All valid (just may not be "healthy" after a given amount of time). You need to figure out what's making you feel this way and address that and determine if it's worth it. Are you holding on to something? Not enough time for closure? It's not as easy as "just don't feel that way" - they are your feelings and you can't just turn them off or dismiss them. You need to determine exactly why you are feeling the way you do, determine if it's worth it, and change THAT. Maybe it's not woth the heartache to go to the racem OR it could be a step in moving forward and not allowing someone to have that kind on influence on your emmotions. Edited by Kido 2013-07-08 4:17 PM |
| 2013-07-08 9:02 PM in reply to: Kido |
Elite 6387 | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races |
| 2013-07-08 9:57 PM in reply to: HonoluluAngel |
Regular 88 Chicago IL | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races I ran a popular 5 mile race here in Chicago with some friends last year. I finished ahead of my friends and was waiting in the finisher area for everyone else. I saw an old friend I hadn't seen in years. I went to say hello and got ignored, I realized that this former friend had apparently taken sides on a bad break up I had about a year earlier. Obviously it wasn't my side he took. So I took the high road and said it was nice seeing him and moved on to congratulate the people who actually do mean something to me. Life is too short to give a s*** about people who don't care about you. To the OP people can be difficult to deal with at times, but you can let that affect the way you live your life. Enjoy it. Oo I almost forgot, I am running a 5k in October that is organized by an old high school track teammate of mine and my former friend. I am looking forward to racing him now. |
| 2013-07-08 11:46 PM in reply to: superjorge1 |
Elite 3090 Spokane, WA | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races This thread makes me sad  |
| 2013-07-09 3:59 AM in reply to: HonoluluAngel |
Regular 1023 Madrid | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean This is an interesting thread on so many levels. I think there's a potential tv series here somewhere. Carry on. Please. |
| 2013-07-09 7:59 AM in reply to: KateTri1 |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by KateTri1 Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by Hook'em That'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly So, basically, you can't handle getting chicked? I think HonoluluAngel is a chick. The subject doesn't seem to match the OP's post. The post seems like a work/training relationship gone bad, but the subject implies something more. Either way, quit worrying about the other person. I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. omg!!! you can't leave us hanging.. either create a new thread with all the dirty details or fess here... Pleazzzzzzeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! Why not? I'll start a thread called 'bizarre breakup stories' so I'm not the only loser posting |
| 2013-07-09 8:16 AM in reply to: 0 |
Champion 10471 Dallas, TX | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. *EDIT* Wait a second... the title of this post is "Breaking up and seeing your ex at races"... yet you are telling us you two WERE NOT dating???!!!! Come on now. Which is it? Dating or not dating? Edited by KSH 2013-07-09 8:19 AM |
| 2013-07-09 8:18 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Champion 10471 Dallas, TX | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by Hook'em Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly So, basically, you can't handle getting chicked? I think HonoluluAngel is a chick. The subject doesn't seem to match the OP's post. The post seems like a work/training relationship gone bad, but the subject implies something more. Either way, quit worrying about the other person. That'll teach me to make snarky comment. OK, probably not I still think I hold the prize for having my GF break up with me DURING a marathon. Cops laughing at us as we run past, her screaming at me. WOW! Now that's some drama! I bet she was back with you by the end of the marathon... huh? |
| 2013-07-09 8:18 AM in reply to: KSH |
Regular 1023 Madrid | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. Lot of denial going on here. No ? |
| 2013-07-09 8:20 AM in reply to: gr33n |
Pro 5755 | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by gr33n Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. Lot of denial going on here. No ? If you are going to talk about De Nile this has to be in the politics thread |
| 2013-07-09 8:21 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Champion 10471 Dallas, TX | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by gr33n Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. Lot of denial going on here. No ? If you are going to talk about De Nile this has to be in the politics thread AND.. the title of this thread is "Breaking up and seeing your EX at races". But they weren't lesbian lovers? Something isn't adding up. |
| 2013-07-09 8:26 AM in reply to: KSH |
Regular 1023 Madrid | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly AND.. the title of this thread is "Breaking up and seeing your EX at races". But they weren't lesbian lovers? Something isn't adding up. Originally posted by gr33n If you are going to talk about De Nile this has to be in the politics thread Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. Lot of denial going on here. No ? Gotta love the veiled mystery.... |
| 2013-07-09 8:47 AM in reply to: BrianRunsPhilly |
Pro 9391 Omaha, NE | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by gr33n If you are going to talk about De Nile this has to be in the politics thread Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. Lot of denial going on here. No ? Isn't that a river in Egypt? |
| 2013-07-09 10:13 AM in reply to: tuwood |
Expert 1951 | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Originally posted by tuwood Originally posted by BrianRunsPhilly Originally posted by gr33n If you are going to talk about De Nile this has to be in the politics thread Originally posted by KSH Originally posted by HonoluluAngel Lol we weren't lesbian lovers or anything. Actually, the person I started training with is gay and the ex friend is very anti gay so this added to the tension. She would constantly make negative anti gay comments. So I stopped talking about my training because she would retort with bs, the resentment was festering between both of us. So that's the whole story and again thanks for the positive comments, and you mean people can go on being mean Now I'm really confused. So you two weren't lesbian lovers... you weren't seriously dating... and she was THIS PSYCHO towards you? Over.. triathlons? Then she was so upset by the situation that she walked OFF THE JOB? That is SO WEIRD. Really weird in fact. Lot of denial going on here. No ? Isn't that a river in Egypt? I thought it was in South America. |
| 2013-07-09 10:16 AM in reply to: KSH |
| Veteran 183 Honolulu | Subject: RE: Breaking up and seeing your ex at races Yeah sorry if it seems confusing. I titled the post that way as I thought it would be broader. For the record neither I nor my ex were lovers or lesbians. At one time we had been very good friends, working together 5 days a week and training on weekends, that's 7 days a week spending time together. She was a control freak and it didn't bother me until she got pissed at me training w someone else who IS gay and she happens to dislike gays. Then other issues at work deteriorated the friendship. She did not walk off the job due to triathlons. The issue I wanted feedback on was how you handled seeing an ex or ex friend at races and how negative emotions affected your race, was it worth it to go. Instead many people just told me to harden the F up. Honestly It's been good to vent and despite the negative comments I feel better. I also appreciate the constructive remarks. I felt I was proactive in 1) finding a different training partner and 2) moving my desk to further avoid tension w a psycho. The fact that she decided to quit is not my problem, and I couldn't control her reactions to me training w a gay person. I really hate drama but this unfortunately did happen and could be good reality tv material. It's more peaceful at work and I will go to the race and do what I love. |
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