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Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri) - TriathlonShort Course


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Windsor, Ontario
Canada
windsortriathlon.com
Total Time = 00m
Overall Rank = /
Age Group =
Age Group Rank = 0/
Pre-race routine:

Sorry in advance about the length of the report...heh. This is a jockstrap report for Trixie's first Tri, and G8RSAX / Grillmaster)

Got to Canada on Saturday around 3...by virtue of Victoria revealing her Secret for the border guard, discretely as always, so that he'd overlook the fact that Trixie didn't have a passport. Now THIS is going to be a solid weekend.

OK, as background, trix was a little worried about the swim. Like a little. A little dumptruck load full. With that as your perspective...

First thing we did was go to the race site of the swim, where Trix and Dwayne walked to the swim course, then got yelled at by lifeguards. Dwayne dolphined, and had an insta-chest-exfoliation. No need for mud there, and save the snazzy spa treatments. And we encountered two of the most amazing Canadian sunbathers. Mmmmm. I should take a picture.

Then, we drove the bike course. Dead flat. The only problem was that throughout the drive, we kept looking to the left, and continued to see buoys. At this point, Trix is fairly sure the swim is from Milwaukee to Cleveland.

Went to the Wal-Mart, where we took a call from Vinnie Barbarino at the store; he suggested trix wear toob sox with the red ripe under the water shoes for the walk, I mean swim. Wal Mart was short on the Kotter look, so Wendi and Trix scored some Ferragamo heels. Oh wait, those were $6 water shoes, which they needed for Sunday's walk. I mean swim. $6 Canadian. I think the brand was 'Buffalo Hide', but I can't quite be sure. Pictures are in the album, though, and I"m sure we'll all be impressed.

But all kidding asside, there was a tragic moment in the Wal-Mart. About 3/4 the way through gathering gatorade, coke, water shoes, yada, we were all stunned to hear a shotgun blast. Dwayne actually ducked behind some milk-in-a-bag. Only one person was hurt though....Unfortunately, it was a BT'er...Wendi was wounded in the ass, and had a giant, swollen, disfigured handprint from where Trixi's hand DETONATED on her rump and made the most unbelievable noise. That ass-slap left a mark.

Back to the Rennicks for laughs, round corn pops and a little, stress little sleep, and talking about all the utes we'd seen at Wal-Mart.
Event warmup:

Up around 6?! Breakfast was caffeine and crack cookies - a new pre-race favorite, even for jockstraps...and the four of us took off. We rolled into W-town thumpin' - 50 cent, ludacris, profanity-laden bass whonkin away. We were nassssty. :) Parked in the church parking lot.

Racked the bikes, prepped transition, took a few pictures, then I deleted all of yesterday's pictures (run through Hell, plus early Windsor tri pics) in a fit of technical competence. Dork.

Now...we're remembering that trix is nervous about the swim. So we watch the tri-a-tri wave go off first, 300m swim. They start at a buoy, all standing up. They WALK two buoys to the turn around...and I shit you not...the way they knew it was the turnaround was the lifeguard was standing at the buoy, waist deep in the water, with his hands raised over his head. Trix watches most of the tri-a-tri people finish the swim WITHOUT THEIR HAIR GETTING WET. See the photo album for photo documentary of that particular fact. So...now trix is feeling just a lil' better.

So Dwayne, Trix, and Wendi wade into the water...and poof!!! We have startage.
Swim
  • 00m
  • 875 yards
  • / 100 yards
Comments:

3/4 of the wave take off like Jesse Owens...running as fast as they can to the first buoy. Trix dives in and begins to swim, G8R walks beside her. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And I've got THAT in a pic, too.

Now the really funny part...they THINK that walking the swim is gonna help 'em; however, as we'll find out just a bit later, 800m in the muck - also takes just a little bit of effort.

Also, Wendi and Trix hadn't even gotten to the last boy, I mean buoy, before they had their wetsuit TOPS off. This is like with 200M to go. But if you're jogging...

And how many people can you say LOST A SHOE during the SWIM portion of a tri? It's just mind boggling.
What would you do differently?:

Control the giggles.
Transition 1
  • 00m
Comments:

Dwayne looked great coming out of the water and running up the sand hill. Trix looked pretty good, but a little tired. Wendi - notsomuch. :) But all made it successfully through T1.

Wendi FLUNG the B2 on the pavement coming out of T1...and I'm taking pictures of her mounting, and cringing. Eventually, she's got her entire lower body, and parts of her upper body, covered in chain lube. This is a classic. How does THAT happen?

Two guys behind me are saying..."OMG, she can't get on the bike". To her credit, her legs were spent from the walk (swim), and were shaking. (YOW). But finally she got on and PR'ed the bike. So all was not lost.
Bike
  • 00m
  • 18.64 miles
  • 0.00 mile/hr
Comments:

They all had awesome bikes. One guy didn't though...he locked up the front brake at the dismount line, and went right over the top. Landed on his head, skidded to a stop minus a bunch of skin. Eventually he walked away, but it was ugly...

Ooooh, and I took the opportunity to give myself a bath using bottled water in the church parking lot. I somehow missed the morning shower, and it was hot, and well, if you can smell yourself (just kiddin...or was i?)...
What would you do differently?:

Learn to use my camera. I missed Dwayne, and most of Trix with the pics. And take a shower the morning of...
Transition 2
  • 00m
Comments:

Trix had a good T2. if you count weaving shoelaces and threading them, plus lacing them up. It worked for her. :) Wendi had a good T2, but also managed to run around in circles like she was doing the bat race. The mello yellow will come up again later in the race report, though. :)
What would you do differently?:

Shut the hell up. :)
Run
  • 00m
  • 3.73 miles
  •  min/mile
Comments:

Sat by the finish...Got everyone finished. Everyone looked strong coming in ...
Post race
Warm down:

Hung out with Rennick, C1 & C2, Dwayne, Trix, and Wendi as they plowed through some stories, some Tim Horton's, and some soft drinks.

Then...the rennicks took off, and we found out trix had placed in AG, so we waited for the plaques....and literally, there were 300 people registerd, and 400 age group awards...it was AMAZING.

"Mixed and semi-mixed masters duathletes, ages 37-38, French-Speaking and handicapped - Jean LeTour, come get your award!!!"

"Non-Canadian relay, M/M/F, mountain bike division, ages 104-122"...and it kept going, and going, and going.

We got sunburt waiting to see Trix get her award and see if we could score one of those SWEET Tim Horton's beach cruiser bikes as a door prize. Nogo. Didn't even get a snif at them. But Trix got some ass-tasting heed, and Wendi got a backpack. Not bad swag...

Then...into the car, through the tunnel, and back to Detroit...

Event comments:

Excellent company, fantastic Rennick hospitality, and good times accompanied by the Ass-Smack heard round the world. It doesn't get any better than that.

And Trixie's a triathlete. You's a ho. :)




Last updated: 2006-08-14 12:00 AM
Swimming
00:00:00 | 875 yards | / 100yards
Age Group: 0/
Overall: 0/
Performance:
Suit:
Course: Out and back in 30 inches of water.
Start type: Plus:
Water temp: 0F / 0C Current:
200M Perf. Remainder:
Breathing: Drafting:
Waves: Navigation:
Rounding:
T1
Time: 00:00
Performance:
Cap removal: Helmet on/
Suit off:
Wetsuit stuck? Run with bike:
Jump on bike:
Getting up to speed:
Biking
00:00:00 | 18.64 miles | 0.00 mile/hr
Age Group: 0/
Overall: 0/
Performance:
Wind:
Course:
Road:   Cadence:
Turns: Cornering:
Gear changes: Hills:
Race pace: Drinks:
T2
Time: 00:00
Overall:
Riding w/ feet on shoes
Jumping off bike
Running with bike
Racking bike
Shoe and helmet removal
Running
00:00:00 | 03.73 miles |  min/mile
Age Group: 0/
Overall: 0/
Performance:
Course:
Keeping cool Drinking
Post race
Weight change: %
Overall:
Mental exertion [1-5]
Physical exertion [1-5]
Good race?
Evaluation
Course challenge
Organized?
Events on-time?
Lots of volunteers?
Plenty of drinks?
Post race activities:
Race evaluation [1-5]

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2006-08-14 8:47 PM

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Champion
6627
5000100050010025
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Gold member
Subject: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)


2006-08-14 9:14 PM
in reply to: #511658

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Master
1480
1000100100100100252525
Plant City, FL
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

2 days later...and I STILL have the handprint to prove it!  I didn't hear the border patrol complain either... btw...just sayin'

Thanks for the good times BDK, Trix, Rennick & Grillmaster!!



Edited by G8RSAX 2006-08-14 9:18 PM
2006-08-14 9:37 PM
in reply to: #511658

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Extreme Veteran
316
100100100
Nashville TN
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)
now that is my kind of race report!! loved all the extras! good job on the reporting rick
2006-08-14 9:50 PM
in reply to: #511658

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Champion
8766
5000200010005001001002525
Evergreen, Colorado
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

EXCELLENT jockstrapping, Rick!  We need more jockstrap reports.

I'm most proud that you didn't cry when your bike fell over!

2006-08-14 10:30 PM
in reply to: #511658

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Elite
2661
20005001002525
DC Metro, slowly working my way to NC
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)
Awesome report - I'm glad you were able to capture the moment for all of us that couldn't be there to watch Trix nail her first tri!
2006-08-15 12:03 AM
in reply to: #511658

Champion
8903
500020001000500100100100100
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

Man, even I coulda placed in some sort of division.  Did they have an "over the hill, bald-headed geezer" category?

 



2006-08-15 6:21 AM
in reply to: #511658

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Master
1551
10005002525
Virginia Beach, VA
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)
What a great jockstrap report. Those are the kind of stories that built BT.
2006-08-15 8:29 AM
in reply to: #511658

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Crystal Lake, IL
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

I started this post like ten minutes ago but couldn't stop laughing long enough to type until now.  Hilarious.

 

2006-08-15 8:39 AM
in reply to: #511780

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Champion
7542
5000200050025
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Bronze member
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)
max - 2006-08-15 12:03 AM

Man, even I coulda placed in some sort of division.  Did they have an "over the hill, bald-headed geezer" category?

 



I think this category would be quite competitive

Nice report Rick!
2006-08-15 1:34 PM
in reply to: #511658

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Expert
941
50010010010010025
WA
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

RICK!  loved this - so awesome!!  looks like trixie is stealing my thunder as the -smacker.  i'll have to give her a run for her money.  poor wendi's butt! sounds like it was painful....or maybe pleasurable.  ooh baby!  hahaha, not sure which .

great report! 

2006-08-15 6:11 PM
in reply to: #511658

Member
21

Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

Windsor tri: $56

Crazy pink shoes: $7 (on sale)

Butt slap heard round the world: priceless



Edited by grillmaster 2006-08-15 6:23 PM


2006-08-15 6:56 PM
in reply to: #512716

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Champion
6627
5000100050010025
Rochester Hills, Michigan
Gold member
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)
grillmaster - 2006-08-15 7:11 PM

Windsor tri: $56

Crazy pink shoes: $7 (on sale)

Butt slap heard round the world: priceless

Unbelievable.  Absolutely perfect. 

2006-08-15 8:20 PM
in reply to: #511658

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Wife, Mother, Friend.
2457
20001001001001002525
South
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)

I have to teach Renee to slap my butt like that.

Great RR, Ricky.  Sounds like too fun a time!! 

 

2006-08-16 7:55 AM
in reply to: #511658

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Master
1457
10001001001001002525
MidWest
Subject: RE: Windsor Walk-Draft-Walk (Trix 1st Tri)
I am soooo impressed Trixie! Great job. My first isn't until next July!
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