I did IM and so what? (Page 2)

I've done one, I'm glad I did it but I don't see myself signing up for another one any time soon.  Not because it wasn't worth it or too selfish, I just haven't felt any draw to go back.  (maybe puking my guts up all night afterwards has something to do with that.   ) Now the half IM distance has me hooked - totally different experience IMO!

I don't believe IM training and racing is in and of itself selfish.  instead, I think the way people go about it can be very self-centered and detrimental to overall balance in their life. They don't have the time for IM training unless they take it away from their family or job. They don't have the money for it unless they take it away from their family. They end up tired all the time, and thus have problems at work, with their spouse, or with their children.

If you are guilty of what I describe above, then it's likely you are being selfish.

I have completed 9 IMs (one or more each year since 2006) and cancelled four more. The first time I cancelled because IMAZ was the same weekend as my daughter's first Dad's Weekend at college. Doing that IM instead of going to her college would have been selfish. I cancelled. The second time I cancelled was because of work commitments. I just didn't have the time to do the training and still get done what I needed to get done. Doing the IM training and not getting my work done would have been bad for my family and thus selfish. I cancelled.  The third time I cancelled because of a bike crash and broken collarbone a couple months before the race, and the fourth one five months later because I wasn't healed. Trying to do IM training while still healing would have likely caused longer term health problems which would impact my family and job. That would have been selfish.

Another aspect of selfishness is expecting other people to make sacrifices and large accommodations for your personal wants and get nothing in return. 

I started IMs with my children in their teens, in high school. No daycare, not much homework help. My oldest had a driver's license and she could drive her sisters places. They had dance, drill, schoolwork that kept them busy. I often trained in the garage while they were out and we had dinner at 8pm as a family.  My wife was a stay at home mom.

I can easily afford the gear, training costs, and travel for destination races like Lake Placid, Cabo, Cozumel. . My job has flexible hours.I have a trainer and a treadmill at home. My pool is walking distance from my office. I don't have other hobbies. No one had to make any sacrifices or large accommodations for my IM hobby. 

This is directed at no one in particular, so don't be insulted if it sounds like you: when I read people's descriptions of how they try to squeeze in jobs, volunteer time, young children, spouses, and IM training, then I have to think "your life is hard enough as it is. It's already tough for you to juggle all that you have. You may be already struggling. Why would you ever add IM training to your life? It will probably not be worth it when you are done, and people will likely resent you."

Really depends on the individual situation. I have no kids and I think my wife was more excited about me signing up for IM than I was. Yes, she did gripe heavily about me waking up at 5:30am every Saturday for my long rides, but other than that no complaints. She likes to weight lift at the gym, I like tri, she has a 45-60min commute after work, I have a 15min and I get off earlier. So between her commute and going to the gym, I was usually home before her on the weekdays.

The trip to the race was a nice vacation for both of us, I tired to keep the focus on the vacation until just before the race, then it got serious. My situation and family worked fine for IM because we don't have kids and we are both active in different sports so the time spent was not an issue. Also my wife is pretty awesome and extremely supportive of anything I set my mind to. It is definitely a give and take. She got interested in bikini bodybuilding shows in late 2011, so 2012 I pretty well took the year off of tri and went to the gym to weight lift with her 5 times a week. Woke up early in the morning to take her walk with her, and walked late at night before bed with her. 2012 was the year of her "show" so I tried to make it all about her and my sport took a back seat. Last summer we agreed it was time for me to do my IM so winter and Spring 2014 was all about me and my IM. Now that my IM is over she is talking about another show. I will likely drop back to HIM for next year and maybe do some bike racing. I won't do another IM just to do it, I will wait till I know I can break the 12 hour mark.

Everyone has a different experience and personality. For some of us completing an IM is a huge deal, for others it is not. I tend to be very even keeled and keep my emotions (if any) to myself. Did I feel great about finishing an IM? You bet! Did I dance around, post to FB, have a party, cry, etc? No, just not my thing. I don't get a warm fuzzy feeling calling myself an ironman, I am proud of what I did, but I don't need anyone else to be happy for me or excited about it. So no, IM was not "life changing" for me, but I am glad I set the goal and accomplished it, I still get my butt handed to me on a weekly basis on my group rides, so I am nothing special.

Sorry you didn't have a great experience OP. I'm sure one day you will look back and be proud and happy that you set the goal and met it, but for now focus on your family and drop back to HIM or Oly. My riding buddies keep asking me if I am going to race an Oly or HIM this year, "if you finished an IM you should crush an Oly or HIM". I tell them, wrong! The training to actually race an Oly or HIM can be much more intense and difficult than IM training, and it takes a lot less time.

Without prying too much, can I ask if there any details you can share about this specific part? Is there anything you would do differently if there were a next time? Maybe others can learn from it. 

Let's get this straight, it's not the IM that wasn't worth it but, rather, the weekly volume. You can spend 15+ hours a week prepping for sprints or just running or doing anything else really. It is not the event or some lack of satisfaction from the event that you didn't enjoy, you just feel you spent too much time away from your family. That's fair enough. Zero family at home here but I could see how putting one into my life would make me second guess the training weeks I've always done regardless of sport. If I had to drop that though to 10 or less hours a week I'd put triathlon racing down permanently and go do something else.