Favourite Simpson's Quotes (Page 2)

A Sunday afternoon giggling.

Krusty: We're going to the happiest place on Earth—Tijuana!

Dr. Nick: singing The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch... Uh oh.

Upon arrival at the Chili Cook-Off, when Marge stops at a craft booth:

"C'mon Marge...less artsy and more fartsy!" 

I love Bart's prank calls to Moe:

"Is there a Seymour Butts here???......I need a Seymour Butts!!"

"Hey, Ivana Tinkle!!"

Troy McClure: HI. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!

My two favorites:

Episode when Lisa pretends to be in college - the other girls drop her off at home and Homer is inside with a keg singing (ala Chumbawumba):

" I drink the whiskey drink, I drink the vodka drink, and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink."

Homer is in a car wreck (can't recall specifics) but he prays to anyone that will listen: "Oh jesusallahbuddha, please save me."

Homer sez:

Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Homer no function beer well without.

Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at Church? That Captain Whatizname? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to see those Police academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear nobody laughin', did you?

I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.

No TV and no Beer make Homer something something

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene

When Homer gets his own gig as a security guard/police officer:

Homer: Finally, a job that combines my love of helping people with my love of hurting people!

~B

Two of my favorites, from the same episode:

Homer taking remedial science:
Teacher: I will now demonstrate the caloric content of this donut by holding it in this flame
Homer (in a panic): Noooooooooooo!
Teacher: As you can see from the bright blue flame, this was an especially sweet donut.
Homer whimpers

At the HS reunion:
And the trophy for "most improved odor" goes to.... Homer Simpson!

OH! and also from that episode:

Homer (monologue): Ok brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. But let's cooperate, and get through this, and then I can get back to killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal!

D'oh!

Almost forgot one!

The episode where Homer falls asleep while driving home from Moe's: (he its Marge's car with his own car in his driveway"

Insurance Man: Your report says you were coming home from Moe's. What kind of establishment is Moe's?
Homer's Brain: Don't say it's a bar!
Homer: It's a pornography store, I was buying pornography.

Drunken Homer: "Hey Marge...guess how many boobs I saw today....15!"

Smithers (making suggestions as to what kind of food to have for lunch): "How about Chinese?"
Mr. Burns: "No thanks; those people are all gristle."

Homer talking to a home security salesman

Salesman: But surely you can't put a price on your family's lives.
Homer: I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are.

Renee: Really? You think I'm gorgeous?
Moe: Yeah, well, the part that's showin. Guess you could have a lotta weird scars or a fake or somethin.
Renee: You don't talk to a lot of women, do you?

OK, I'm on a roll!