Spouse Approval

without your spouse /significant other's approval = No

 and/or support = maybe

IMO regardless of distance training without approval is going to cause problems.  Your significant other doesn't necessarily have to support your efforts although it would be nice.  But without approval I couldn't see getting in enough training without it turning into arguments. 

If you are in a traditional marriage of man & woman this is my suggestion:

If you are a man and want to not have to ask your wife's permission to do/buy anything then buy her a horse;  If you are a woman and never want to ask your husband's permission to do/buy anything then buy him a motorcycle.  For the most part, that's the last you'll ever see of them except for when they are not riding (which only ends up being when they are at work or sleeping)........and they won't give a rats arse what you are doing.

P.S. - the horse thing also works on teenage daughters.  It's actually amazing.

You're welcome.

I wouldn't  need to ask, but that's not because I'm inconsiderate, but because I've reconfigured my training times to 4-6AM, even on weekends as well as my work lunch hour, so my family never sees my training time cut into family life, even at 14-16 hrs/week of training. 

The few time that I do need longer than 4-8AM on the weekend, I do check with the wife that it's ok, and of course, I do check that clearing race day for travel is ok. 

Message is, that it is possible to work a full time job and train without hugely disrupting your family, if you can manage such a schedule. 

My younger brother did two (2) full Ironman in 2002.  He was a single college student at the time but when I learned in 2014 there was going to be a 70.3/140.6 triathlon in my home that had the starting line 10 minutes from my front door I wanted to do it to have that shared experience with my brother and other Triathletes that I had networked with through my work.  I was afraid to ask my wife if I could do it because I didn't know if I could find the time to train for a long course triathlon and still fulfill all my responsibilities at home.  I worked out a schedule that only require for my family to give me up to training three hour on Saturday mornings and on a few Thursday evening.  They were okay with that so I got the permission to do the race. Also since this was a home town race my daughter didn't miss your tt ball game on race day (which may have been a deal breaker if I had wanted to do another race).   

By talking to your spouse up front it allows both of you to look and what adjustments need to be made and come up with a plan together.  Every thing in a marriage should be worked on together.  There may be some compromises that have to be made on both part and if you aren't both on board with that before you start then your spouse will NOT be happy when you dump a bunch of your duties on him/her to make time for training or don't have time for family activities that they were wanting to do and expecting you to attend with them.  

So...yes...if you value your marriage then talk to you spouse before you sign up for something that is going to require hundreds of hours of training, thousands of dollars, and possible mean the difference between going to one of the tourist traps on you spouse's bucket list over the limited work vacation the bread winner in the home is given every year so that they can camping out on the side of the road in the blazing sun all day so they can see you for 10 seconds as you go by them on your bicycle.

If my wife said no...I won't do a race.  I only race with the family's support.      

If my wife said no...I won't do a race.  I only race with the family's support.      

Definitely not. so many aspects of life need to be coordinated - many have already said about the training time support but there's also the cost which is usually pretty significant unless you happen to live right where an Ironman is ... then plus all the nutrition and supplies. I can't imagine passing off the $800 race fee plus the vacation time and accommodation costs associated with that without asking. 

My hubby and i actually have a '$100 rule' where if we plan to buy something more than $100 we have to talk about it first. We rarely say no but it is an important way to keep the lines of communication open. 

Before kid, my DH and i did IM together. It was pretty awesome. Tiring but awesome. 

I have two kids under the age of four, and my wife is a runner. So, we talk about the races we want to do over the coming year, look at our non-athletic schedules, and decide together what is feasible for our family, both in terms of racing and for training. The primary driver for the discussion is to make sure we both have time to do our own training without pushing one parent to be solo all the time.

Because we discuss these things openly, it's typically not a question of approval of races, but more as a means of finding a way to make a preferred race happen.

10:00? By then, I've been asleep for at least an hour. I'm 35, going on 80.

Can't help with finances but for training I'd show her your training schedule or something similar to what you hope to follow.  Explain it's not set in stone and see if there's anything that concerns her and what alternatives there might be.

If that fails get the horse. 

I get up at 5:00 AM every morning (including weekends) but that doesn't make more time in the day because, yes, you do have to go to bed earlier.  

My wife and I used to play Settlers of Catan about every night or watch to show after we got the kids to go to bed.  If the kids go down between 8-9 PM and I go down between 9-10 PM there isn't much time for a board game or a show.  When your spouse is with kids all the time and you are the only adult they speak with some days that extra time together in the evening could be just as hard for the spouse to give as extra time in the morning.  

And ..This.