I am heart broken.... (Page 2)

Oh dear..I am so sorry for leaving you hanging on this one.

At the time I posted this, I was reeling with heartbreak, b/c my boyfriend at the time told me in a nutshell that I wasn't good enough for him. He decided that he someone else who lives in another state was better than me. Nor was he supportive of my triahtlon venture trying to discourage me in everyway possible. Over time, I started to believe him.

I'm still a bit heartbroken, but I did prove him wrong, when I finally do my triathlon. Albeit, I didn't have the most fabulous time, but I still did it.....more than he'll ever do.

I'm sorry for leaving you hanging on this one. Thanks for all the encouraging words...

Oh dear..I am so sorry for leaving you hanging on this one.

At the time I posted this, I was reeling with heartbreak, b/c my boyfriend at the time told me in a nutshell that I wasn't good enough for him. He decided that he someone else who lives in another state was better than me. Nor was he supportive of my triahtlon venture trying to discourage me in everyway possible. Over time, I started to believe him.

I'm still a bit heartbroken, but I did prove him wrong, when I finally do my triathlon. Albeit, I didn't have the most fabulous time, but I still did it.....more than he'll ever do.

I'm sorry for leaving you hanging on this one. Thanks for all the encouraging words...

Oh, that puts a whole new spin on things. Anybody who does that isn't WORTHY of a triathlete! Do more tris, and watch for the guys that don't have any friends/family waiting at the finish line. At least they'll be more supportive of your training.

What a cruel thing to do. I hope he gets a flat tire driving to that other state, his jack is rusted, and his spare is flat, too.

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Remind me never to tick you off! I'm thinking I'd rather take the time penalty for drafting than pass you on the bike, too!

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hi TriMommy, just wanted to throw in my support as well. Training for the tri's is time consuming, and and we all know, mentally consuming as well. So having a non-supportive person out of your life - well, there is a freedom there to do your training with out apologies or guilt.

Congrats on the finished tri - YOU DID IT!!

That's good old fashioned justice!!! Maybe he'll get a ticket too!!!

And in pretty darn good shape!!!

I suspected as much. I'm sorry for your hurt. I know where you are on this one. Rejection is never easy, especially when it's someone we care about.

Just remember:
Time heals all wounds.
And time also wounds all heels.

Send him off on his way and take care of yourself. Do you have friends and family in the area? Take some time to get away from the situation, go see a movie, get a pedicure, go for a long bike ride, run away from him.

I think you know in your heart of hearts that he's wrong about you. And you're probably feeling a bit guilty and gulible about believing him a little -- for letting him hurt you. Forgive yourself. Love yourself.

{{{{{HUG}}}}}

I agree with some of the advice above. Finding someone in your areas of interest is definitely a plus, especially because of the time devoted to training and racing.

When I started training for adventure races, I tried to drag my girlfriend at the time into training with me (she rode MTB and ran, from time to time). However, I decided to take it just a bit more seriously than she did and began training with teammates and doing day-long training sessions on weekends and then competing. That time not spent together put a bigger strain on an already downward relationship. And that was that.

A year later, in my first expedition race (multiday), one of my teammates got sick and we spent the last two days of the race completing the course with 3 other four-person teams under similar conditions.

My current girlfriend was a member of one of the other teams. After the race, we started training together, became teammates and well have been together for a year now. We competed in the 2004 edition of that race and our team finished 8th. She is my training partner, motivator, supporter and can still kick my butt at trekking.

The question is not whether you are good enough...you are just too good: you are a triathlete and a trimommy!

I know it's unbelievably hard right now to believe and that it's easier much easier for me to say. But, you're better off. You are now free to find a man worthy of your love, to pour your heart into triathlons (and anything and everything you choose to pursue) and believe in yourself. He was a hindrance to you being YOU to the fullest! Good riddance. *Hugs*

even though you may have mixed feelings about his departure, good riddance is right! you completed your race and invalidated all his opinions of you. it's always difficult when someone chisels away at your self esteem over time because it can be subtle, yet no less damaging. the further you get from this relationship, the happier you will feel that it is over. and when the wonderful, supportive man comes along, he will show the respect that you deserve!

CONGRATULATIONS on becoming a TRIATHLETE and starting a new chapter- without EXCESS baggage !!!!!
Y'know- he did you a favor- now you don't have to figure out how to get rid of him,,,,

I gotta say this: Anyone who dumps you for someone in another state has mental issues. You're better off without him.

You'll get through this and meet someone MUCH better. So, hooray for new opportunities for someone better who might actually deserve you!

And just at the point that he realises all this, he hears a banjo in the distance

Seriously though, it's obvious that the only thing you weren't good enough at, was being an emotional doormat for him to wipe his feet on. You are a triathlete, something that I currently aspire to be and will soon be able to call myself. With the community that resides on this board, I'm gonna' take a wild guess and assume I'm not the only one in that position. So face it, for the next two weeks you're my hero and after next weekend, I'd be proud to call myself your peer.

-Frank