Everyone boards, we shove off. The solo swimmers started at 8:15 and the relay teams started at 8:30. Our fleet of boats all make their way out to the starting line. You have to imagine this now. You have 46 or so swimmer boats in the center of this race, you then have 3 lead boats, 3 sag boats, 4 state police boats on both sides, and 4 coast guard boats 2 on each side. We are a FLEET.

We kind of tool around waiting for the solo swimmers to start. I know people on 4 or 5 other boats and everyone is text messaging back and forth. We get a pic message from Kims boat with all her other chicks in matching suits. OMG, they got matching suits. We can't contain ourselves. I pull my pants down and Kristen takes a nice shot of my full moon with her camera phone. 5 other boats get a nice pic text message in response.

The solo swimmers start from the beach. The cannon goes off and we watch them run, jump in the water, and start their 17.5 mile swim. Relay teams start in the water, all in a line, 200 yards from the beach. We trolley on up to the line, the radio crackles to live, "swim across the sound relay, count down, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO!" We hear a gun shot and every boat and swimmer starts to motor. I am glad this was not my leg because 60 boats all going at the same time in a small area can cause quite a chop.

Our strategy was simple. We aligned our relay of 6 swimmers from from best ability dowd. The rules state that each member must swim a minimum of 15 minutes and no longer than 30 minutes. We chose 15 for each swimmer. Now you might say that 15 minutes isn't so bad... and you might be right. But when you are swimming as hard as you can, open water, in ocean type chop, it is pretty hard. Johnny goes, Jared goes, Laura goes, I am up next.

Transition. Lauras 15 minutes are up, Billy our alternate holds up an orange sign and she starts to sag near the back of the boat. I am on the edge of the boat. Billy does the countdown. Go. I dive off the side of the boat like David Hasslehoff in his prime and break the surface. I do about 10 dolfin kicks under the water and surface. I start my swim. I feel reaally good. I swim hard. I start to think, man I must almost be done alredy. I look over. Billy holds up a green sign. WHAT! I have only been swimming for five minutes! No way. I kind of settle down after that and continue to swim hard. Another sign, 5 more minutes. I keep swimming. The water is a like and emerald color with streaks of light swimming all around you. I rather light swimming than sharks. "Theres a sh-sh-shark... theres a shark in the pond." This is the quote that goes in and out of my conciousness. You see a a dark spot in the water next to you and you try not to think about it.. its not a shark, stop being such a wuss. Orange sign, I minute left. I sprint knowing this is my last 100 yards. I see the wetsuit diving over me and entering the water, I swim and cath the boat and grab onto the ladder and climb my tired ass out of the water. Phew! I only have to do that 3 more times. To say I underestimated the exertion level of this race might be a bit of an understatement.

My lats are really sore and I am hunngry. I eat some cheerios, down some dried mangos, eat some sweedish fish, and make a heed, powerade, aminovital jell cocktail that tastes like ass and chopped up slugs mixed together. I start to feel better immediately. Every one elses 15 minutes seem to go by really fast and before I know it I am up again. I re-hasslehoff my way back into the water and go. This leg is much better, it seems to go by alot faster, I feel good. Orange sign, wetsuit, enters, I'm out. I climb up, man did that leg feel really good to you guys? Yeah everyone felt good. Thats good.

I eat more. I drink alot. Johnny is in the water. Man I have to pee. I let it go off the back of the boat and I see johnny look up at me with the most appauling look on his face. What? Do you think fish don't pee buddy? This is when the waves start. The chop gets big. 2.5 feet I would say. It's my turn again and I get in. Apparently the boat had drifted and we were off course. Everyone was pointing for me to go in the other directiong. I go that direction. I get hit by some waves. Up and down, Up and down. Water in the mouth. Spear through a wave. More water in the mouth. Grab a couple Jelly fish. See Johnny trying to pee off the back of the boat in my direction. Laugh really hard. Swallow more water. IGH.

We are getting closer. We can see land now. This is exciting. We are neck and neck with 2 or 3 other boats. Kims boat is 200 yard behind us as is mossman. Cheryl's boat is 200 yards in front of us. This is going to be close. Jared and Johnny, the 2 strongest swimmers, decide to do 20 minute pulls to get us closer to Cheryl. They have great swims and get us really close. We are in the final stretch, we have 1.25 miles to go. Laura gets in and has a great swim. She takes us into the harbor. We notice instantly that the water color has changed. It is no longer a pretty emerald green but rather a brackish brown color. She is a good kicker and I happen to notice that the bubbles she is making are yellow. Disgusting. She over takes Cheryls swimmer. Diver dan, its up to you, you have the last leg, you can't let them catch us. OK. Lauras time is up, I can see Captains cove. I dive in. The water is yummy. It is brown fo sho. I cannot see my arm passing underneath my face, it feels as warm as it does when you pee in your wetsuit. I sprint as hard as I can. Everyone on our boat is yelling and pointing. We come to the dock and all my fellow relay swimmers dive in with me and we swim neck and neck to the finsh. People line the pier 5 or six deep and are all cheering for you for the last 100 yards, it's great. We touch the wall and we all high five each outher and get the F out of that slop.

What better way to warm down than with 3 or 4 pina coladas and some free buffet food. What do you get for your 65 dollar entry fee. A free shirt, a free minibackpack, a hat, a towel, open bar for 3 hours, a free buffet, and an awesome experience. I commence drinking...


You have to do this.