Kids Say the funniest things!

My 4 year old grandson:  "I'm going to have a new sister!"
My wife:  "Do you know where she comes from?"
Grandson:  "I think from my Mom's China."

I guess he thought "vagina" was just another country.

Yesterday my 3 year old had me wearing a childs cowboy hat, a purple feather boa, and holding a magic wand while we we chasing monsters.  That was followed by the nightly chasing her around the house while she is butt nekkid while I yell NEKKID, this is right before her bath.

Today we had to hide from the "finches" that were flying around the house, trying to attack us. I have no idea how she knows what a finch is.

Last week we went to the neck party, the mirror party, the head party, and the knee party.  Then at the knee party she found some stuffed kittens.  The kittens were sick so we had to take them to the animal doctor.  You know, the fodge-anea?

Your daughter is awesome.

My 5 year old brother-in-law was sitting on my lap and sort of petting my collarbone and he said, "I like you. You're soft... like a squirrel's armpit."

Our two and half year old son has often seen momma using the breast pump.  The other morning she gets down a pump bottle, Christian grabs it and says, “My pump!”  He runs to the living room, hooks the hose to the pump bottle, turns on the pump, and tries to lift HIS shirt to pump breast milk.  It was difficult to not fall on the floor laughing.

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This jarred my memory.  Last week I was bathing my little girl and she said, "Daddy these are my boobies (pointing), they're small like your boobies.  When I grow up I'm going to have great big boobies like mommy. (as she spreads her arms out)"

And daddy is going to have a great big shotgun.

My almost 3 year old daughter was going pee on the potty when she called out for her grandmother, who watches her while my wife and I are at work. When my mom got there my daughter yanked on her underwear and asked, "grandma, can I have have a pad?" My mom could barely contain her laughter, as did I when I told the story

Oh man- my kids (6 yo triplets) have been full of them lately.....  Kennedy says to me " When I get big I am going to marry someone rich and handsome"  I said- "Well thats pretty smart miss"  She says "yeah- you didnt do that did you??" 

Tucking my son into bed he says " You are the most beautiful mom in the whole world... except when I get married I am going to marry someone with a more round head".... ????

Kaitlyn says "how come you dont want any pets here in our house?"  I say "because I already have three kids to take care of and there are enough animals out at the farm "  she says "Well why dont you move out so we can get some?"

LOL. Kids are so cute.

When my cousin's daughter was in the 3ish range (she turns 5 next weekend), she went through this phase where whenever someone asked/told her to do something that couldn't do or didn't want to do, she would respond with: "I can't. I have two shoulders." The phase lasted a few months.

When my cousin first told me this, I was like, "Maybe she's saying "I have to be older'." My cousin said, "No, it's clearly 'I have two shoulders'." Sure enough that's what it was. We don't know what she thought her shoulders were doing to her, or what she thought she was doing to them...but she did not want to upset them.

(Actually, we later determined it was probably because she spent a lot of time with her grandfather, who had an injured shoulder at the time and was unable to do a lot of things because of it. So, that was probably her interpretation of the situation.)

LOL. Kids are so cute.

When my cousin's daughter was in the 3ish range (she turns 5 next weekend), she went through this phase where whenever someone asked/told her to do something that couldn't do or didn't want to do, she would respond with: "I can't. I have two shoulders." The phase lasted a few months.

When my cousin first told me this, I was like, "Maybe she's saying "I have to be older'." My cousin said, "No, it's clearly 'I have two shoulders'." Sure enough that's what it was. We don't know what she thought her shoulders were doing to her, or what she thought she was doing to them...but she did not want to upset them.

(Actually, we later determined it was probably because she spent a lot of time with her grandfather, who had an injured shoulder at the time and was unable to do a lot of things because of it. So, that was probably her interpretation of the situation.)

LOL! Oh I nearly spewed my cereal all over the keyboard! I gotta remember that one !

This gem is from last night while I'm getting our two and a half year old son ready for bed:

While changing Christian’s diaper he pulls his knees up, puts a hand on each butt cheek, pulls, and says, “My open my butt!”  I about fell on the floor laughing.  He then lets go and says, “My close my butt!”  OH!!  MY!!

My son just turned 4 and even though he is potty trained he does not like to clean himself up so my wife or I get called to do it.  We were getting ready to start in in preschool and my wife told him he was going to have to learn to clean himself up after #2.  His response "I don't want to, that is a lot of work".

And then the other day he was watching America Funniest Video's and says "Mom, they are going to scare the F--- out of that cat".  My wife and I decide we need to stop swearing so much.

Oh how kids will teach you the misgivings of the words we choose.

We’ve not had any swear words repeated and I’ve already started replacing most swear words with “Bugger” when the kids are around.