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2007-11-01 2:58 PM
in reply to: #986605

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Master
2808
2000500100100100
, Minnesota
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
Nephew is at day care watching out the window for his parents to arrive. The kid turns to the provider and says 'Here comes my f'ing dad!". Methinks he learned that one from his mother!


2007-11-01 4:09 PM
in reply to: #986605

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Champion
4942
2000200050010010010010025
Richmond, VA
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

Last night, my two sons were dressed up as spiders.  My little guy (20 months) had a little costume with a hat.  They were trick-or-treating and happen across another little boy wearing the same costume as my little guy, but without the hat.  My older son (almost 5) says to the boy:

"Wow, you have the same costume as my little brother.  But he is much cuter!"

 

2007-11-01 4:38 PM
in reply to: #986605

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COURT JESTER
12230
50005000200010010025
ROCKFORD, IL
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

Just got a surprise visit at work from the wife and kids.  Christian looks at the cubicle and says, “Daddy live there?”  

Yup, at least part time.

2007-11-01 5:01 PM
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Edited by Zilla 2007-11-01 5:01 PM
2007-11-01 5:09 PM
in reply to: #986605

Subject: ...
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2007-11-01 5:35 PM
in reply to: #1033442

Master
2051
20002525
Portland, OR
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

leapdog - 2007-11-01 11:13 AM My sister in law relayed to me the story of her last shower with one of her boys (4ish?). When they were toweling off the lad says "Mom, do you pee through your hair?".

My 5YO asked me the other day, "Mom, do you pee out of your butt?"  WTF??  "Um, no...why?"  He screwed up his face and said, "Because you don't have a penis, duh!"



2007-11-01 7:24 PM
in reply to: #986605

Veteran
377
100100100252525
Waukesha, WI
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
A girl in the school where I work, Victoria, had a disability she disguised, as she didn't like the other kids knowing about it. I was talking to her friend Brittany one day, when the topic turned to Brittany's friends. Brittany got real quiet, leaned in, and whispered...

Do you know about Victoria's Secret?
2007-11-01 7:37 PM
in reply to: #986605

Master
1655
10005001002525
NJ
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
My daugher Emily who is almost 2 1/2 can't say her sister's name, Kate. She calls her cock. Needless to say, we crack up all day. "Mommy, is cock up ?" "Stop touching me, cock"
"Come here - Im going to tee-gle you, cock-ie" The other morning my husband got Emily out of bed and I called for her to climb in bed with us for a few minutes - "No mom, I love cock - I want to go to cock's room"
me with the video camera "Hey EMily, who does daddy love?
Emily "Cock."
it's endless
2007-11-02 12:43 AM
in reply to: #986605

Master
1809
1000500100100100
hiding in your closet
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
a few years ago i was picking my girls up from school. we would wait outside for the kids to come out.one parent had a nose ring, and as the kids were coming out one 2nd grade child says to the lady "some cows have nose rings and they are fat too". she looked at me shrugged and walked off. from that day on she no longer wore the ring.
2007-11-02 12:58 PM
in reply to: #986605

Veteran
165
1002525
Aylmer, Qc
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
Since I am a francophone, I guess most of the things I could add about the numerous things my girls have "invented" would not make too much people laugh.

But here's one I can translate easily.

Last week, my almost 4 year old daughter walk over to the living room look at me and said:

"Dad, I am going to go over to the kitchen to see if I am hungry"...

A new family classic!
2007-11-02 3:01 PM
in reply to: #986605

Elite
4504
20002000500
Columbus, Ohio
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
My brother and I were playing monkey in the middle with my 6 year old neice. My entire family is sitting around enjoying the day. She is having a great time running around and tackling us to get the ball... but stops dead in her tracks. Just standing there. I run over and crouch down making sure everything is okay. She looks fine and I ask

Me: "Hey, what's wrong?"
Her: smiles "Nothing"
Me: "So why did you stop so suddenly?"
Her: shrugs "I don't know, I just was thinking"
Me: "What were you thinking about?"
Her: looking me straight in the eyes "Ponies"

I could not help but laugh. The rest of the family lost it too. Me and my wife use it on one another when we stop to think or get side tracked. Gotta love kids.



2007-11-02 3:20 PM
in reply to: #986605

Champion
4835
2000200050010010010025
Eat Cheese or Die
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
I was a camp counselor for a summer. I had a flock (between 7 and 15 depending on the week) of 4-5 yo boys. Some of the things they said would drop me to the floor. For the life of me I can't remember. Doh!

The worst part was that they were all crotch height. I got punched in the junk more times then I can remember. Only once was I sure it was intentional. I'm on the ground and the kid walks back to his buddies and says "I got a bull's eye"


Ah, just remembered another.

They had to change for swimming and anyone who has boys that age knows, that once the close come off it's hard to convince them to put them back on. They all put sunscreen on before swimming. One day Eddie is standing there butt nekkid rubbing sunscreen all over his butt. I ask him why and he says "So I don't get burned." Ok.

If myself and my assistant counselor stayed on them they could all change in 15 minutes. One day we got tired of saying "Put some clothes on" so we just let them go. I took and hour for them all to get changed, and the only reason some of the boys finally got dressed is because the rest of the group wanted to go swimming.
2007-11-02 5:30 PM
in reply to: #1035541

Champion
4942
2000200050010010010010025
Richmond, VA
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

graceful_dave - 2007-11-02 4:20 PM I was a camp counselor for a summer. I had a flock (between 7 and 15 depending on the week) of 4-5 yo boys. Some of the things they said would drop me to the floor. For the life of me I can't remember. Doh! The worst part was that they were all crotch height. I got punched in the junk more times then I can remember. Only once was I sure it was intentional. I'm on the ground and the kid walks back to his buddies and says "I got a bull's eye" Ah, just remembered another. They had to change for swimming and anyone who has boys that age knows, that once the close come off it's hard to convince them to put them back on. They all put sunscreen on before swimming. One day Eddie is standing there butt nekkid rubbing sunscreen all over his butt. I ask him why and he says "So I don't get burned." Ok. If myself and my assistant counselor stayed on them they could all change in 15 minutes. One day we got tired of saying "Put some clothes on" so we just let them go. I took and hour for them all to get changed, and the only reason some of the boys finally got dressed is because the rest of the group wanted to go swimming.

 

oh, see I thought you were a crumudgeon when I read your location.  but alas, you mean the --wurst kinds of brats...  

2007-11-02 11:57 PM
in reply to: #986605

Extreme Veteran
315
100100100
South Jordan UT
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
My daughter is always soooo much fun to take places. I never know what she is going to say. She has no fear and anything in her head gets spoken immediately.

Sarah to a man with lots of tatoos - "Your mommy needs to take your markers away."
Sarah to a black man(we don't have many in Utah) - "Did you stay in the sun too long?"
Sarah to a fat lady in the grocery store - "I think you better buy the nonfat milk from now on."
Sarah to old lady - "Why is your face wrinkly? I hope mine doesn't look ugly like that someday."
Sarah to a group of Mexicans - "do da ya no we ha nee day! See mommy! I can too speak spanish!"

The list goes on and on. I am sooooooo glad she is in 1st grade now and I can go grocery shopping without her.
2007-11-03 8:14 AM
in reply to: #986605

Regular
86
252525
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

I could go on forever about all the funny things my kids have said.

While shopping in Meijer, a black woman stopped me to ask if my children were twins (one obviously a head taller than the other and opposite sex). I said no. My son, about 4 years old, blonde/blue eyes and as white as can be, says "I have a black grandpa!" She gave him a perplexed look and quickly walked away. I had to think for a moment... his grandpa was always out in the sun, very bronzed and dark hair. I laughed so hard, I nearly wet myself.

Same son, fast forward to age 12. Turns to me one day and says, "Mom, I am not having sex until I get married." He pauses, and says "Do I have to call you when I am on my honeymoon and ask you if I can have sex with my wife?"

2007-11-03 3:39 PM
in reply to: #986605

Champion
6285
50001000100100252525
Beautiful Sonoma County
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

My cousin's son has always had a mouth on him.  He gets it from his mom, so it's no real surprise.

When he was 2 or 3, he was getting scolded for something, and he turned to his Aunt, and said, with all seriousness, "Don't you yell at me, or my momma will be on you like white on rice!" 

 



2007-11-03 7:20 PM
in reply to: #986605

Master
2278
2000100100252525
State of Confusion
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

I was recently telling my daughter that no matter how old she is, she'l always be my baby"

Her: Even when I'm like, 40??

Me: Even when you're 40.

Her: Well, what about when I am old and 80?

Me: Well, I'll be dead then.

Her: I don't ever want to be 80.

2007-11-03 8:51 PM
in reply to: #986605

Master
1381
1000100100100252525
Clifton, NJ
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

There are a thousand or more of these that I could contribute.

one that comes to my mind is a classic that my husband loves to remind me of from time to time.

me: Brianna, you need to brush your teeth, its not healthy to go to bed without brushing

Brianna: ok. (pause) mom, how do you know its not healthy?

me: because i've been around a while and i know a few things

Brianna: and Papi knows the rest!

2007-11-03 8:58 PM
in reply to: #986605

Extreme Veteran
549
50025
Marietta, GA
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!
Last week my son was the 'Kid of the Week" in his class, and got asked questions by his teacher to go up on the bulletin board.

Teacher: "Stone, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Stone: "I want to be a dentist like my dad, and work making coffee at Starbuck's"

Teacher: "Why do you want to work at Starbuck's too?"

Stone: "So I can see my daddy every day."

The teacher sent it all home at the end of the week, and I laughed & cried at the same time.

I cried both because I'm touched with his love for me and the fact that he has identified my one true vice. Kids see everything! Can you say addiction?
2007-11-05 12:08 AM
in reply to: #986605

Expert
941
50010010010010025
WA
Subject: RE: Kids Say the funniest things!

when my kid sister was 6, we were trying to teach her subtraction, and the concept of "borrowing."  so, we asked her to do 13-7, and she came up with the answer 16.  we asked her how she got it, and she said, "the 3 borrows a 1 from the 1, and 13 - 7 is 6.  then 1 - 0 is 1."  and we were like, "but you borrowed the 1 already, so why did you do 1-0?"  and she said, "because when you borrow something, you have to give it back."

so cute.   

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