Just over a mile with Ellie Mae after I discovered she dug a HUGE hole in the back yard. I can't get mad at her - dachshunds were literally bred to do that - and she's never done it before?! Not sure if she was chasing a mole or what.

Well - goodness. I had a conversation with my boss's boss this morning who has gone through both multiple lumpectomies and recently the double mastectomy. Her story is changing my perspective (things that she doesn't share with everyone), and I'm now leaning more towards the lumpectomy. In short, she said she regrets getting the mastectomy, which is ... surprising.

My plan is to get some more information before I make a decision: I'm going to get genetic testing done first. If I have a genetic mutation that puts me at a high risk, I'll do the big surgery. If not, I will heavily consider the smaller surgery. I also scheduled a consult with the plastic surgeon to see what that would look like and things to think about long-term.

Ellie Mae walk

I suddenly have a lot of things swirling in my mind - lists of things I need to do and it's a bit paralyzing. I need to call the doctor with my decision, schedule a consult with the plastic surgeon, tell my work team, tell other people in my life. I need to get my affairs in order - making sure important emails are re-routed to my personal email account as my work email will be shut off if I go on leave over a certain number of weeks. I need to prepare for my Mom staying with me for a month. I need to write a will. 

Small things I've done already that make me feel like I'm making progress: I set up bi-weekly lawn maintenance for one less thing to worry about. Ordered a robot vacuum, something that's been on my amazon list forever and now is the time to get it. Changed my tri club membership to "remote" - which is only $10 a month and allows me to still stay connected through the private social media groups. I considered cutting everything off from the tri club, but in reality it will make me happy to cheer on my friends from afar.

Last, I have come to terms with not being able to race IM Wisconsin this year. But I'm keeping my flight, hotel with the girls and car rental reservations in HIGH HOPES that I will go ahead and be there in person to cheer on Amber and Linda. That would make me incredibly happy, so that's something to look forward to after recovery.

Quick walk with Ellie Mae before the rain.

Brenda and I went to the local Farmer's Market after we slowly got up and drank coffee. It was a nice morning - I bought a huge tray of broccoli microgreens, then a bundle of leeks. Not a big market, but it was the first one of the season so hopefully they get more vendors. We are both on a kick to support local growers and local entrepreneurs. Brenda headed out in the early afternoon then I took a nap - I'm not-surprisingly not sleeping well. Then googled myself into an oblivion before putting my phone down and watching a dumb Netflix show. 

More googling at 1 a.m. when I couldn't sleep ... the current ridiculous question on my mind is ... can I get bigger boobs? hahaha... I mean why not ask? I have always BARELY filled an A cup. I would not mind going one notch up. Even a half a notch up, you know?  The only answers I got from the internet is that the plastic surgeon will let you know what your options are. But probably, within reason. A silver lining.

Shorter Ellie Mae walk as I have a 6-7 p.m. meeting and spent the rest of my down time cleaning the house as my sister is driving up tonight to go with me tomorrow.

Thank you for all of the inspires, positive thoughts and love. I am meeting with the doctor tomorrow to get all of the details and set a plan. Will share more after that happens - but the (probably obvious) news is that I have breast cancer. 

I am feeling hopeful and positive, but still accepting all of the prayers and good energy. <3

Long walk with Ellie Mae

Getting an MRI this afternoon, and that will determine next steps.