Becoming Sober
BY: RushTogether on 2012-02-20 10:19 AM

It has recently come to my attention that it is time for me to quit drinking.  It will be best for me, my training, my weight loss, and my relationships with people in my life.

 

I am just wondering if any of you have become sober successfully.  Any advice for me?  Just wondering your story...

 

Thank you in advance,

Tyler

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"Keep On Dreaming Even if it Breaks your heart"

--Tyler--

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: hildekq on 2012-02-20 10:36 AM

Yes, I believe there are quite a few of us on here, I know me and Yanti (Triaya) for sure.  I just passed my 13 years sober mark at New Year's... let me tell you life IS better without alchohol!  Waking up without a hangover is probably the best reason!  As is being able to drive ANY time!  I'm probably one of the odd ones in that I did this cold turkey with no help.  Made up my mind and just did it.  Never backtracked, fell off the wagon, just did it.  Lost about 50 pounds at the same time.  I will tell you that it is STILL hard to be around situations with alchohol... my husband has never stopped drinking so we have wine/beer/booze around our house all the time.  We have occasional dinner parties where I'm the only one not drinking... it all starts out fine, but there comes a point when it is like a switch has been thrown, every one has a really good buzz going on except me, and it ceases to be fun anymore.  It is quite eye opening the first time that YOU are sober and everyone else is NOT... you will wonder, "Was I that stupid acting"... well yeah, you were!  I was not the type who woke up and started drinking, hiding bottles in the dishwasher or anything like that... but I did reach a point that I was embarrassed that my kids had seen me out of control, and that my life revolved around where my next drink was coming from.  I NEVER ran out of wine/booze... I made sure of it.  If we were taking a drive for fun, I'd be thinking, hmmm, where can we stop for a few drinks...

You may have to give up certain friendships, and situations that have booze associated with them.  You may need help, no shame at all in going to AA if that's what it takes.  Luckily you already have another outlet... training!  I have a very addictive personality and I have thrown myself into this sport like crazy.  At some point you will have to face the fact that you may or may not EVER be able to have a drink.  I have a lot of friends who quit and then said they could "handle it", and just drink a few.  Guess what, they were right back into the old cycle within a few weeks.  I know that I cannot ever have "just" one, it would be the trigger to go back to that old lifestyle and I am not willing to give up how far I have come.  The sooner you can accept that fact, the better off you'll be.  I do have an occasional O'Douls, and a glass or 2 of Fre wine - alchohol free (although I stay away from the Fre for the most part, tastes too much like the real thing, so only for special occasions like Xmas dinner...)  Having a bottle of O'Douls at least makes me feel like I'm fitting in with everyone else, although I certainly have my share of Diet Coke too!

You CAN do it, it won't be easy, but you CAN do it!!  We will be here to help you along the way... anytime.  And I mean that... it does get easier the longer you go.  

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: tuwood on 2012-02-20 10:53 AM

Big congrats on making a change.  Just like getting off the couch and training the hardest part is starting.  

Good luck!!

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Tony

Romans 8:28 <><

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: TheClaaaw on 2012-02-20 11:11 AM

Get to an AA meeting, no matter how much you think you know about it, or whether you think it applies to you. I just entered 12step for overeating, and I resisted the concept for years. When I walked into a meeting and heard people reading my mind, I knew I should pay attention.
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The Doughboy Rises

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: mdg2003 on 2012-02-20 11:27 AM

Hopefully the person bringing this to your attention is yourself. Someone telling you they think you need to quit drinking will usually have completely different results in the quest for sobriety than YOU deciding you need to quit drinking. It won't work until you decide to quit. 

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Karma; It's the natural selection process f***ing with you a bit while it's
deciding when to cull you.

Think of Schroedinger's Cat, except with a lobotomy.

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: ChicagoMan65 on 2012-02-20 11:27 AM

I have been sober for a hair over 10 years now.  It sounds trite, but take it one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow until tomorrow.  All you need to do is not drink today.  Surround yourself with sober people.  If that means giving up on old friends, so be it.  If it means staying home on Saturday nite, so be it.  AA can and does do wonders and there is nothing wrong with it.  Granted, it may not be for everybody, but there is certainly nothing wrong with giving it a try. Keep an open mind because you will learn a lot about yourself the longer you are sober.

Its not easy, but if you work at it, it does get better.

You're not alone either.  There are some people on this site with a lot of sobriety.  Sober people tend to help each other stay sober.  If you have any questions, worries or just need to vent, don't hesitate to PM me.

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: powerman on 2012-02-20 12:25 PM

Everyone does not have the same "problem" or needs the same solution.

There are people in life that can take it or leave it. What's the problem... just leave it.

There are many people that find they do not care for the road they are on and reevaluate things and change direction.

There are many people that enjoy what they are doing, but then something bad happens that makes them aware that the consequences are not worth it and the change direction.

There are some people that have their troubles brought to their attention by those that care about them and they decide they do not like hurting those they love and they change their ways and go a different direction.

I am "none of the above". If you are one of the above, great. It's all about priorities in life. Learn which ones are important to you.

But if you are like me, someone that "all of the above" was not a good enough reason to change, then I will tell you the same thing I was told when I asked the same question.... if you think you have a problem, then it will be a problem from this day forward and it will never go away until you deal with it... oh ya, and it will only get worse from here. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just have to live with them.

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: mrbbrad on 2012-02-20 2:20 PM

This. In spades.

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Put your worries on hold; get up and groove with the rhythm in your soul.
-Yauch

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: cdban66 on 2012-02-20 2:29 PM

I have no help to give other than to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Good luck and congratulations on seeing that you need to take this step.
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Chris Banting
"The liver is evil and it must be punished" - VC
http://instagram.com/cdban66
http://app.strava.com/athletes/2116063

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: Kido on 2012-02-20 2:35 PM

I'm assuming that you are saying this because it's a real problem/addiction?  Not just a lifestyle change?

I mean, I could say I'm giving up sweets for training and health, but it's really not a problem.

 

Good luck either way for the lifestyle change.  It's in the right direction, that's for sure.

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- Je Ne Regrette Rien
- Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
- Challenges are what make life interesting;
overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
- Maybe strong is just what you have left when you've used up all your weak.

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: byoung73 on 2012-02-20 4:04 PM

It is a life commitment.  If you want it bad enough you can do it.  You may need help from others.  Don't be afraid to ask.  What is the worst that can happen?  Somebody that probably thinks you need to quit, is going to hear it from you.  It is not weakness.  Weakness is the easyway; continuing to live with your hangup.   If you can do this, you can do anything.  But it never goes away.

Life is awesome when you can really see and feel.  And you can still be the person that you want to be.  Just be honest with yourself.  If you like to dance poorly, dance poorly.  Be you. 

 

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: BbMoozer on 2012-02-20 4:50 PM

Hey Tyler!

I can tell you this - if you think you have a problem, drinking will NEVER be the same once you cross that sobriety bridge. Only you can cross that bridge though and I can tell you that it ain't always easy, but so worth the effort and journey. Last drink for me was '92. I honestly would not be doing tri's let alone taking care of myself physically had I not put down the booze. Sobriety has afforded me the ability to become the hero that my cats think I am! Seriously though, you helped keep me sober one more day. Thanks for sharing.

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**Sarah

Tri-ing to enjoy the better half of the rest of my life! :)
"Can I pretend to puke as an excuse to stop for a second?- don't worry about it, just go..it will be over soon" Av8rTx aka Jeff

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: TriAya on 2012-02-20 11:29 PM

If drinking is negatively affecting your life, training, health, and relationships (possibly then also the lives of those around you) ... you're very wise to take a look at it.

I'm sober 9 years now. The quality of my life now simply isn't comparable to what it used to be like. Being sober also made everything else easier--got me into endurance sports, the weight loss, the clearer thinking, seeing where others are coming from and being able to be there for them.

I got sober through AA, with people helping me to do the twelve steps so that I could clear away and address my fundamental problems and continue to live well.

If you want more info about AA, there will be what's called a central office somewhere in your area that you can look up on the Web or in the Yellow Pages and call. You can usually also arrange to meet someone from the office at one of the meetings they go to so that you don't have to feel like you're going in there alone, if you prefer.

All the best to you. Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions or thoughts.

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Coach Y Tri Multisport
~ Ironman(R) Certified Coach, Founding Member
~ World Open Water Swimming Association Coach & Official
~ Triathlon Australia Professional Development Coach
~ American Swimming Coaches Association

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: RushTogether on 2012-02-21 5:30 AM

Thank you all so very very much for taking the time to respond.

I am looking forward to the journey, that is for sure.  I do realize that I  can only take it one day at a time, so that is exactly what I am going to do.

I have told a few of my close friends on my decision, and they have all been very very supportive, which is helping a lot. 

 

Thanks again everyone for all the advice, I will keep you up to date on my progress as time goes on.  

 

Tyler

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"Keep On Dreaming Even if it Breaks your heart"

--Tyler--

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: maxmattmick on 2012-02-21 6:06 AM

good luck, buddy!!

i admire you immensely! Ain't gonna be easy but I'm sure you'll do it!

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from the movie "Parenthood"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1h_hmdVJAc

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: Renee on 2012-02-21 9:14 AM

Best of luck to you, Tyler. I admire anyone who faces this issue square in the face. Takes a lot of strength and courage to get to where you are.

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: So Fresh So Clean on 2012-02-21 9:51 AM

All I can say is that I always get encouragement to quit things when I hear about other people trying to quit things.  Good luck, and surround yourself with like-minded people.  I can't imagine how hard it is (but I can imagine how possible it is).

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--
A helmet is like a back-up parachute. You may never need to use one, but don't jump without it.

If I wash my cat in beer, I'm going to have a very drunk cat and a very frantic dog as she is a total alcoholic and would be chasing the cat around, trying to slurp her. - Yanti

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: SoberTriGuy on 2012-02-21 10:14 AM

You've heard my story in our PM's..  All of this is good advice, I sent you a helpful link this morning.  Good luck keep sending me PM's if you need to!!

 

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Minnetonka, MN

Jesus does hand farts when he prays for me.

RE: Becoming Sober
BY: faded_memories on 2012-02-21 12:42 PM

I can't imagine the challenge of getting sober.

Alcohol is everywhere, and sometimes I am shocked by just how much.  Group runs seems to end with beer all the time, and even some of the triathlons are beer sponsored with loads of it just sitting around. 

Personally I find beer (and coffee for that matter) bitter and nasty so no problem, but for a drinker it must be heaven or hell depending on the side of the fence one finds themselves on.

All I can say it that if you want to you will do it.  Whether it's losing weight, kicking smoking or any other drug. The most important step is making that decision. Then it is time to seek out support, so you are on the right track!

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Eric : Yanti's personal surrogate eater of abandoned Pop-Tarts!
http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/discussion/forums/thread-view.asp...