How Rasta is BT?

That's so funny for me personally, on several levels.  For our honeymoon (9 yrs ago) we went to the Sandals in Negril, Jamaica.  I have never been able to sleep in the mornings so at about 6 am everyday I would get up and go walk around.  The second day there I walked all the way to the end of the property's beach.  As I turned to walk back there were 3 Jamaicans behind me walking toward me (and eventually off the resort).  Now I'm 6'1", back then about 200lbs.  Not a shrimp.  These guys were all lean and muscular, over 6'5" with long dreads, snorkeling equipment, big strings of fish and spearguns.  SPEARGUNS!  I said "good morning" and walked by trying to act cool but all I could think of was the phrase, "no one will hear you scream."

So the next day I decided to spend my early morning closer to the main resort.  I went to the sport shack and decided to try the water skiing.  Now, keep in mind I grew up doing this and was a very good water skiier.  But it had been about 6-7 yrs since I'd been behind a boat.  So they take me out on the ocean and I'm slaloming ok, but I got tired quickly.  I signal to take me into the beach.  I want to show off how good I am so I cut hard to shoot towards the beach and finish in shallow water.  I shot WAY too hard and by the time I realize I'm going too fast I'm only in a foot of water so I can't just lay it down.  I decide that when I hit the beach I'm going to "run it out".  In skydiving when you come in too fast you have to run out the landing, so that's what I'm going to do, right?  Ok.  So everyone knows a water ski has absolutely zero ability to slide over wet sand when a 200lb. man is standing on it.  That ski hi the beach and launched me like a harpoon head first through the air.  There was a 10 ft. span between the ski and where my head dug a trench in the sand.  Yes, I cleverly avoided any damage to my arms, shoulders or legs by making sure that my forehead was the first part of my body to contact the sand.  So I stumble back to the room and walk in.  New wife says, "how'd it go?" without really waking up.  I said fine and laid down next to her and fell asleep.  I woke up an hour later to the sound of her screaming when she finally looked at me.  I had sand embedded in my ripped up forehead.  All of the rest of the pictures from our honeymoon have me with a Gorbachev style wound on my considerable forehead.  After that I stuck to Vodka and and hangin' wit da rastafarians!

Anyway, I love Sandals.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I laugh because I have a similar snow skiing/body launching story but in my case I ended up on my back, trying to breathe (had the wind knocked out of me) and my ski instructor standing over me saying (in his Italian accent) "Rrrrenee. What arrr you doing? You arrrr a kami-kazee. Why deedn't you slow a-down?"

Snow doesn't have the abrasive effects as sand (thank heavens).

Well, when I was 16 years old, I went to visit my sister at college and we went to this party with her best friend. There were 3 rasta dudes there who began to hit on us. I wasn't really interested (he wasn't tops in the personal hygene department), but growing up in such small towns, I'd never met a rastafarian before and liked trying to decipher him talking. Anyhow, they invited us to come over to the house where they were staying the next day and they'd make us Jamaican Jerk Chicken (yes, folks... run with that one). As we were leaving, the crusty rasta I'd been chatting with pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "I play witchya body tomorrow babay, okay?" Like I said, I was 16 and very innocent, so I bolted out of there. Needless to say, we did NOT go have "Jamaican Jerk Chicken" the next day.

To this day, I still cannot hear a rasta accent without hearing "I play witchya body tomorrow babay, o-kay?" That was some funny sh**....

stupidnickname - 2006-03-17 12:01 PM

Oooooh, an excuse to post this.

Ya know, my cats do a lot of things, but not this. Figures.