Conflicting emotions/post-triathlum depression

BUCK UP Renee!!  YOU FINISHED!!!!     Now that you know what it takes to finish, now you can work on improving your training, physical and mental.  And understand what kind of pace you need to in your next event you can do a good run.   :-)

KEEP IT UP YOUNG LADY!!!!

That right there is enough to smile forever!  You have already accomplished more than 95% of the population.  Now, you can just continue training and work improve your times!

GREAT JOB, RENEE! 

On the other hand, I am very proud of my war wound! Elbow to the chest during the swim melee...

No peanut gallery remarks!

(Picture 204.jpg)

Nice. A breast shiner!

Glad I don't have to swim with those brutish chicks.

Who knew 40+ women were so savage?!

I have a lunch date (first) in 15 minutes. Think I'll scare him off if I give him a modest peek at the shiner?

First date peek at the breast shiner might come off as a little too aggressive. I'd wait and feel him out (not literally) first.

Hey Renee,

I am now in my 2nd year of triathlon and one of the best parts is that I can run some of the same events I did last year, and now enjoy some better performances.  Its a huge contrast to where I was last year.

You can beat yourself up forever for not doing as good as you would like, but you can also take a HUGE amount of pride in your accomplishments and keep building on them.  It may be a slow, gradual process to meet all of your goals, but you are WAY ahead of the game already!

Congrats on putting that first notch on your tri-belt!

Danny

Yes, I think what you're feeling is normal... I felt the same way after my first race... except I wasn't even that jazzed that I finished... Once I saw my time, and saw how miserably I did on the run, I was entirely disgusted with the whole idea and minimalized it... people were proud of me and I was like "Yeah, well I didn't do that well!"

So I signed up for another race... same thing.

I signed up for yet ANOTHER race... only this time it was storming and raining, and I couldn't concentrate on anything except NOT falling off my bike... I couldn't even find the time or mind energy to beat myself up over this performance because I was concentrating on not killing myself by sliding downhill on the wet pavement. I still don't know what my time was in that race... and I decided then that I was going to ignore the importance of "rankings" and "times" all together, from that point forward. It didn't really matter. 

Now, I concentrate on improving over those prior performances... and trying to get better (at least in SOME respect) each time I race...that way, even if I'm miserable on the run, or slow on the bike, I can point to some improvement I've made. Also, I've stopped making my important goals about a specific outcome, and decided I'd try to make them more performance driven... so instead of finishing at a certain time or in a certain placement, my goal would be to "keep my elbows high throughout the swim..." or "pull up after the bottom of the pedal stroke"... if I concentrate on those things, then I'm bound to have a better swim/bike or run!!! PLUS, I might feel better because I wouldn't have failed to reach any specific goals! I can feel like I achieved something... that is, what I specifically set out that morning to achieve.

 
For example, I rode with the "serious" bike group this weekend... My goal was to hang with them, not get dropped, not get lost, pedal evenly through each stroke, maintain a pace of at least 16 mph, and return alive. 54 miles later, I'd met all those goals, but I still felt a wee bit disappointed because I didn't feel like I'd done well enough... I did hang, but they ALMOST dropped me! I had to remind myself (multiple times) that I DID accomplish what I set out to accomplish, and each time I go out with them now, I'm going to focus on improving. We all have to start someplace... and I think that can be difficult to remember... especially if you're at all competitive by nature.

I'm not sure when this became a meandering dissertation on goals. Sorry for digressing.

Renee, you did great. Next time you will do even better and the time after that... etc etc... Nice work. We're proud of you!!!

Whizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hey Renee!

What you are feeling is normal.  It happened to me, too.  I went to my first tri with two friends who whooped my butt!  I also panicked during the swim, and I was not impressed with myself at all.  I wish I could have turned my thoughts around to enjoy the finishing moment, but I couldn't.  I didn't even have BT to share the experience with at the time.

Boy did I learn from that!  Now I am happy with finishing, no matter what.  Next time will be better for you....we're all here pulling for ya!  You rock!

Jen

Thanks, everyone. Accepting that I suck is tough.

It's the same reaction I had when I took a picture of myself 2 weeks into training - THAT'S WHAT I LOOK LIKE?! I was aghast. So this is like that picture, a snapshot of my level of fitness, just more ugly details. Well, that's why I'm tri'ing - to get fit and get my ass in shape while having fun.

Can I join in at Flatwoods if I promise to pull every now and then? 

I'm feeling there too after seeing my times.  I'm going to see if Coach Bass is still doing track workouts at Riverview Highschool.  He has them on Thursday evenings, free.  It may be a drive for you, though.  At the time I was talking to him, life was too busy (football practice on Thursdays).  Now it's summer and he may not have them.   He's a local tri-geek, wins his AG almost every time.  He coaches cross country there.

I think I may start AM runnings now it's lighter at 6am, on my days off.  I'll also make EVERY OW swim session Matt holds.  We need to set the bar.  

On the other note, I forewent the beer and had strawberries with cool whip instead.  (this is going to make Jeff bring me down a notch).  

I agree on the pics too- I got my St A's pics in yesterday and oh my gawd!!   Nobody's seein' them. 

Hey now! You don't suck. Like you, the hardest part for me is accepting that I'm never going to win a race given my genetics, level of fitness, etc. I have to compete with myself only. It sounds like you are ready to do that. You're tracking your progress and you're motivated to keep at the training.

I'm such a novice in all areas. It is so very humbling riding with the tri team and being the one that they are always waiting for. I'm so competitive (always played team sports) so it's easy to get down on myself. I figure that I have 2 options: a) quit because I'm the worst and won't ever be the best, or b) keep at it and be the best that I can be! I choose 'b'!