Newbie - first tri, swimming torture, er training?

I'm VERY new to the swim also but what I will say to you is I can (still) only breathe bilaterally for two lengths of the pool and as you have stated und up stressed and out of breathe so... However I have completed several "long" swims 1 Hr+ only breathing out of one side and they were very relaxed because I decided to do what I'm comfortable with.

I have practiced the bilateral breathing but NO way will(would) I try it during a race without getting better at it!

I would say do what you can during your race and work on the bilateral breathing after. That's my plan at this point...

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I'm not too experienced a swimmer but I found swimming slower helped me a lot when I first started.  Don't be in too much of a hurry.

I started swimming/breathing bilaterally but when ever I tried to push beyond 100m or tried to swim fast (like for a time trial) I quickly revert to one-sided breathing.

If your triathlon involves an open water swim make sure you practice in open water before hand.  It is quite different from pool swimming.

Also newish to swimming, all summer I training with breathing only on my right side, ows, laps.  Well race day came - 1/2 iron distance and I was all over the corse because I didn't pratice sighting!  So 1 side is fine for starters, just remember it will pull you out of line after while.   The pool is easy to stay on target, evan swimming along the bouies in ows.  Race day is something different, sighting is really important, i wasted alot of time going of line.

Good luck, don't hurry, it will come.

I truly hope that is the case, and why I keep trying.  I had tried on and off for years to run, and would get to the end of the block, get a stomach cramp, and quit.  Then last year, someone explained that sometimes that doesn't work, and our bodies need to adapt more slowly to the stress. I followed the couch to 5k program, and a year later I am medaling in my AG. 

I feel comfy in back stroke, and can do the full race distance easily with back stroke.  Breast stroke is slower, but also I can do it for longer distances, though I haven't attempted the full race distance with that stroke yet.  Freestyle is kicking my butt.  I find it is easier if I use a pull buoy, so I think the kick is not helping my effort.  So I have been trying to kick less, much less, to see if this helps.  I have pretty low body fat, especially in the legs, so I think I have a tendency to overkick, wearing myself out quicker.

A couple of suggestions...

1)  Adopt a positive attitude about the swim as you drive to the pool, change, shower, and get ready to swim.  It's amazing how our minds work, and if you approach the swim as "torture" that is pretty much what you'll get!  If you approach it as an enjoyable, relaxing, experience, you're more likely to get that as well. 

2)  Relax...when you tense up (which starts with attitude), you have to work harder because you have one muscle working against another muscle.  Spend a few minutes relaxing in the water, floating on your back, gliding on your stomach with your face in the water. 

3)  Slow down!  If you're swimming with your face in the water (the water should be forehead or higher) and you are rotating (is your ear still in the water when you're trying to get a breath of air?), try slowing down and focusing on smooth and fluid motion. 

4)  Is your kick originating at your torso/hips or only from the knees down?  How much do your knees and ankles flex as you "flutter kick?"  (Hint:  sit on the side of the pool and gently kick your legs back and forth with your ankles relaxed...you should notice how your ankles flex forward and backward due to the water resistance.) 

5)  Exhale gently while your face is in the water (if you are getting water in your nose, try humming).  If you hold your breath, you'll try to "blast-n-gasp" that next breath in that short time your mouth is out of the water (not good).  It's good to practice breathing to each side so you're comfortable when you get a mouthful of water instead of air...you can get a quick breath to the other side instead of panicking. 

Great tips, thanks! 

I lovingly call it "torture"... but in reality, I want so badly to succeed, which is why I keep going...

I had hired a private trainer, and we were making gains, but the last lesson she pushed me harder than I like.  I don't think pushing myself to being scared is the answer.  I need someone to help figure out how to be more comfortable in the water, not more scared.  I am pretty self motivated, I need guidance, not a shove.