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2006-09-11 6:44 PM

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Subject: Having to rely on others for important things.
I have a real problem relying on others to do things for me in important situations. This is why I HATE HATE HATE group work, mainly because I don't think people have the same standards of quality/timeliness/hard work as I do (or maybe i'm just horrendously egocentric). For this application I'm making, it has to be approved and all sorts of other administrative stuff that I cannot see/be part of. The bad thing is that there has never been another applicant from my university...so the whole process is going to be rough, and I feel that this is going to disqualify me from the process. It also has an upcoming deadline. I don't like that this is SO VITAL to me, my no. 1 priority, and it is definitely not the priority of other people involved in the process. Not that it is negligent, but that they have many responsibilities. I'm terrified about falling through the cracks. In addition, the comission that issues this award is less than forthcoming about returning emails reguarding the application process. This all has me very very stressed. Plus the HIM in 2 weeks, plus starting school...auugh.


2006-09-11 9:43 PM
in reply to: #537070

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Subject: RE: Having to rely on others for important things.
No practical advice other than "hang in there". I also dislike group work, so I understand completely where you are coming from.
2006-09-12 6:14 AM
in reply to: #537070

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Subject: RE: Having to rely on others for important things.
)begin mom-mode)

For those folks you need to submit something or do something for your application - do as much of it for them as you can. Write a letter for them to sign (or edit and sign), fill out the forms, tote the paperwork from place to place, put stamps on the envelopes or take them to the postoffice/fedex, send the emails for them, stalk them, in a very friendly, helpful way of course!, whatever. Do as much in person as you can, or at least on the phone. Emails are too easy to ignore. It will make them look good, too, if you get accepted, so by helping them help you you all win!

Use your training to deal with the stress...it works wonders, and sometimes eliminates brainblocks!

And as for school starting, the beginning is when the least is expected of you, so roll with it, time to dig in later on! There are a lot of things to do, but that's just stuff, one step at a time it will get done.

Remember a few of my perfectionist-battling mottos "They have stores there" and "It's good enough for who it's for".

And then give it all up to FAITH that the Universe will provide you with just what is perfect for you and SHINE ON!!!! :-)

(end mom-mode)
2006-09-12 6:34 AM
in reply to: #537070

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Runner
Subject: RE: Having to rely on others for important things.
Smart- comment begins now: Welcome to real life. Nobody is going to treat your stuff with the same level of concern that you do. Recognize that fact, so that you can learn to work around it.

Now to be helpful: I agree with the make others' lives easier comment. I also believe in papertrail. If you give something to someone, you need documentation of who, what, and when. Also, get them to agree to a deadline that it will be done by. Beyond that, if they screw you, they screw you. What are yo gonna do about it then? NOW is the time to be proactive.
2006-09-12 7:13 AM
in reply to: #537070

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Subject: RE: Having to rely on others for important things.

You will end up where you are supposed to be, no matter what the process is that gets you there.  The universe has a funny way of giving you what you're supposed to have, even if it's not quite what you thought you should get.  Just roll with it, train hard to de-stress, prepare for the worst and you'll be pleasantly surprised with what happens, no matter what

What's just as tough for me is "delegating," which gives me the same heebie-jeebies as group work used to when I was in grad school.   I'm in a position now at work where I have some junior staff on my projects, and it always freaks me out to hand things off.  I know it's best for everyone, I have to, I can't do it all.  But eeeeee, I guess that means I'm a Type A after all!

Hang in there!



Edited by maxpixie 2006-09-12 7:14 AM
2006-09-12 8:02 AM
in reply to: #537070

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Subject: RE: Having to rely on others for important things.

Yup, agreed, I hate relying on others.

But, unfortunately, I've also found myself in the position sometimes of having to put other people's priority issues to one side, which is awful for all concerned.

Hang in there Phoenixazul, I'm white-lighting you. It sucks having to wait, particularly when there is no-one at your uni who has done this before you.

You're the trailblazer, think positive!

Sorry I'm not much help- I feel for you!



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