Michael Sams (Page 5)

I have a somewhat unique perspective on this in that I get to know a lot of people who struggle with sexual issues of all sorts and journey with them throughout their history to see how they got where they are.  I can tell you that being sexually abused from anyone has a life long impact on the victim (same sex or otherwise).  I was simply mentioning that you can't lump everyone together on such a complex issue because every single one of us is different.  Our genes and our life experiences are all different and collectively make us who we are.  It's not as simple as all gay people are "born that way" or "everyone had bad parents" because neither have been proven by anybody and I believe both are untrue.

As you highlighted, most (but not all) people experience little or no sense of choice.  So, I was merely suggesting to not lump everyone together. 

I don't think you're trying to start a fight, and I appreciate the dialog.  Most people tend to shy away from these topics because there's no easy answer and I try to simply give another perspective that doesn't get brought up much.

I hope I don't come across as too much a whack job.  :-D

I have a somewhat unique perspective on this in that I get to know a lot of people who struggle with sexual issues of all sorts and journey with them throughout their history to see how they got where they are.  I can tell you that being sexually abused from anyone has a life long impact on the victim (same sex or otherwise).  I was simply mentioning that you can't lump everyone together on such a complex issue because every single one of us is different.  Our genes and our life experiences are all different and collectively make us who we are.  It's not as simple as all gay people are "born that way" or "everyone had bad parents" because neither have been proven by anybody and I believe both are untrue.

As you highlighted, most (but not all) people experience little or no sense of choice.  So, I was merely suggesting to not lump everyone together.  :)

I don't think you're trying to start a fight, and I appreciate the dialog.  Most people tend to shy away from these topics because there's no easy answer and I try to simply give another perspective that doesn't get brought up much.

I hope I don't come across as too much a whack job.  :-D

I have a somewhat unique perspective on this in that I get to know a lot of people who struggle with sexual issues of all sorts and journey with them throughout their history to see how they got where they are.  I can tell you that being sexually abused from anyone has a life long impact on the victim (same sex or otherwise).  I was simply mentioning that you can't lump everyone together on such a complex issue because every single one of us is different.  Our genes and our life experiences are all different and collectively make us who we are.  It's not as simple as all gay people are "born that way" or "everyone had bad parents" because neither have been proven by anybody and I believe both are untrue.

As you highlighted, most (but not all) people experience little or no sense of choice.  So, I was merely suggesting to not lump everyone together. 

I don't think you're trying to start a fight, and I appreciate the dialog.  Most people tend to shy away from these topics because there's no easy answer and I try to simply give another perspective that doesn't get brought up much.

I hope I don't come across as too much a whack job.  :-D

Nope, not a whack job.    But I have a somewhat unique perspective on this as well in that I am gay and a sexual abuse survivor.  I am very well aware of the impact it has.  However, I don't feel as though it is a lifelong issue.  I dealt with it and moved on.  Now, did the abuse help shape who I am?  Absolutely.  Did it affect my sexuality?  Possibly.  You are right, we will never know.  I 'went the other way' in that I tried 'being' straight for many years--boyfriends, even a husband (just for the record, HE ended the relationship, before I ever came out).  It wasn't until I came out that I truly felt like I was me.  

I agree, that we should not lump everyone together.  But to say that someone who identified as gay can get therapy and change is untrue, IMO.  Confused about their sexuality, get therapy and get it figured out, absolutely.  But do you think that I was heterosexual and then my therapy changed me to gay?

You need a new counselor if they turned you gay.  just kidding and no I don't think your therapy changed you to gay.  That would be a whole new can of worms right there.  ;-)

I think you described in your last paragraph how difficult it is because there are people who are the way they are and nobody is going to change them and nor should they try.  Then there are people who are confused about their sexuality that can benefit from counseling.  On the confusion front there could be people who identify as straight and are confused because they're really gay and people could identify or think they're gay, but really be straight.