Ironman 70.3 Timberman - Triathlon

.....and into the drink we went, sans me. I stood and waited for about 10-15 seconds to ensure I had space and lessen my chances of getting clobbered in a beat-down. It was worth getting 10-15 seconds behind. I then took off and whaddya' know, this "flying wedge" formed in front of me, clearing the way doing much work for me giving me a great draft. I had it made. I had hardly any contact at all during the whole swim. By around Buoy #4, I looked over my right shoulder and saw a cluster of lime green caps behind me, so I was making some good progress. Happiness is seeing a cap from the prior wave to the side of you and that happened past Buoy #5. Inspiration is seeing a cap from the wave after you creep up on you and that was by the time the 1st turn happened - actually, a wolfpack of roughly a half dozen females laying down the hammer with authority. I tried drafting them, but that was futile. Sighting was working perfectly and clouds obscured the sun, hence no solar glare. I was having a blast and I had to remind myself to conserve energy and keep it conservative as I had a long day ahead of me. I kept up the mantra of "swimming is fun" in my mind and that powered me into the shore until my hand consistently hit bottom. I stood up and did not have an issue with dizziness and then climbed up the concrete curb.

Go for another lap! Hey, it was fun. Other than that, nothing.

On to the Stripper Station I went. I spotted a female volunteer and ran up to her and bellowed "strip me baby, strip me" to which she got a good laugh. Hey, this is supposed to be fun. I thanked her profusely, though there was a tense moment when I was very close to getting a cramp in my thigh....close, but didn't happen. I then went to my bike and got a bit disoriented and nervous about forgetting something for my bike ride. I stuffed a pack of Nutter Butter cookies into my shirt as an Emergency Reserve Comfort Food pack in case my spirits got low and I got tired of gels.

I dunno'.

I took on the first hill out of the park which is not immediate - you go about 1/10 mile out of the chute, first. I soon picked up speed and spirits but also mindful that Monstah Hill was coming. I reminded myself that I did biking in Vermont a few weekends prior on hills much more bad-a$$ but that woudl still not make 'da Monstah any easier. By the time I got to the base of the Monstah, I had averaged 15.9 MPH (I think). Into the easiest gear I went and whaddya' know, my Wattdaphuckdood Hill training paid off as I actually passed a few fellow warriors on the ascent and the turn onto Leavitt Road happened sooner than I had anticipated. "We own 'da Monstah" I shouted out at the top. If I can do that, I can finish this race.

Then came the long haul down Route 106, where I had to resist the temptation to stop at the Subway. I regained all of my average speed lost on 'da Monstah and had to remind myself to settle down and keep it conservative so that I can have gas in the tank for the run. But wouldn't ya' know, my average speed kept creeping up and with just a little push, I got it up to an average of 18.0 MPH at the halfway aid station. OK, if I average 14 MPH on the second half, I'll check in at 16 for the entire trip. At the halfway aid station, a woman got me a banana and asked if I needed anything else to which I responded with "a pizza". I wanted to use that aid station for a short minute or 2 mental health break and prep for the second half, but instead I wolfed down my banana in less than 30 seconds and the uncontrollable urge to fly and compete kicked in and I was off. I was stunned at the number of warriors fixing flats on the side of the route.

Well, the second half went well and much faster than anticipated - I just couldn't chill enough to bring the trip average down to 17 MPH, though it was dropping. I worried about Farrarville Road hill, but by standing up and laying down some string strokes, I knocked that off with little trouble. Down Monstah Hill I went with some braking as my biking skills still aren't up there to warrant speeds in excess of 40 MPH. As I approached the top of the last major hill, my average speed dropped to 16.9 MPH, but I made a deal with myself and that was to go for 17 MPH if it was not too much of an effort. I was hydrating well all along with Gatorade G2 and popping shot block units once every 15-25 minutes and that was paying off, though I was getting a little tired of biking. The final turned surprised me by coming up quicker than I thought - yikes, don't blow the turn and crash into the good volunteers. At the end, I was stiff and had a tough time getting off the bike, almost plopping to the glee of the spectators - we all had a good laugh! My bike computer read 17.0 MPH average - mission accomplished beyond expectations.

Bring my wallet so I could stop at that Subway for a 6" Meatball Sub. Other than that, I think I could have cranked out an extra .1-.4 extra MPH and still had enough in the tank for the run.

Time for the run - my weakness, my toughest task. It dawned on me to break out the Nutter Butters to ensure my spirits were elevated - deploy the comfort food! That and doing some quick squat exercises took some time, but also ensured I'd be at my best for the run - I needed that. I had no problem burning up some extra time, here. On the way out, the porta-potties had a line and I figured I'd catch one on the run course.

Go faster.

My spirits picked up and I felt good and started with a slow strong steady consistent pace. The good news was that I found a vacant porta-potty. The grim news was that it was out of toilet paper. The okay news was that I could get away without it and I will not get any more graphic. I burst out and got back on that slow strong steady consistent pace....... as slow as one could go and still call it running.

For the run, I actually walked much less than I intended – I’d run up to the water or oranges, stop for a moment to grab them and then take off and drink/eat on the run. At the end of the first loop where everyone says it’s discouraging because you see the Finish Line right under your nose, I didn’t feel discouraged at all – I felt great that I was half finished and I had such a good experience on the first loop, that I had no problem in my mind about doing a second loop – “Half Way, HALF WAY” I bellowed to the spectators. For the second loop, I had heard of some “wall” at 8 miles in these events where nearly everyone risks bonking, so at around mile 6.75, I reached in my back pocket and downed a Hammer Gel before I reached the water at the Mile 7 aid station so that I can be prepared for this Mile 8 “wall”. That “wall” never happened and at Mile 10, I told myself that this "wall" just ain’t gonna’ happen – it’s cancelled and if this “wall” shows up, a big surge of my adrenaline will make it road kill. I ate many orange slices on the run and I could feel the fructose energizing me and I just stuck with water for hydration as well as 2 or 3 gels. On the second loop, there were many more warriors walking especially on hills and I took note of that – remember, that’s what you don’t wanna’ do and mentally prep for this right before these hills that are being walked. Shortly after that small hill on Route 11 where you go back into the neighborhood and on my way home on the final lap, I looked at my regular wrist watch (heart rate monitor has been acting up lately) and figured out that while I was close, I still was probably not going to break 7 hours. On that last steep hill – I still ran not walked, albeit very slowly – I think my body was subconsciously thinking that it was all downhill afterwards, I had been very diligent about nutrition, my spirits were high and I was feeling great and that if I pick it up a notch I just might get lucky and make it plausible to break 7 hours. So, I was probably actually running much faster on the last 1.5 miles and not realizing it. When I saw the finish area about ½ mile through the trees and across a little bit of the lake, it did not seem that far – a voice inside of my head asked: “is that far away, or what” to which another voice responded with “of course not – you’ve gone 69+ miles so this is just a drop in the bucket so proceed ‘cuz if you made it this far, you can make it all the way, DUH”. When I approached the finish chute from the road, I saw the digital clock in the distance and saw 7:24:35 and it hit me that my wave was scheduled to start at either 7:24 or 7:26 and whether or not our wave start was on time was unknown. Either way, that meant that breaking the 7 hour mark just might be down to a few seconds. So, I went from “Beast Mode” to “James Bond 007 Mode” and I picked up my pace and the closer I got, the faster I ran and then I sprinted (or what seemed like sprinting) as hard as I could and I howled 4 or 5 times, SPRINT!, SPRINT! out loud in front of everyone until I crossed the finish line. I just didn’t know how close I was to 7 hours, so I just had to unload and whaddya’ know, I beat it by 55 seconds.

Oddly, on Sunday night, splits by quarter were posted and have since been replaced. They did reveal the following: Run 1 3.3 miles: 12:50/mile; Run 2 6.5 miles: 12:42/mile; Run 3 9.8 miles: 12:50/mile; Run 4 12.1 miles: 12:19 mile. A consistent pace, but also revealing that I had some surge of adrenaline in the last 1.5 mile.


Go 2 more loops to see if I have what it takes for a full Ironman. Bring toilet paper. Other than that, nothing. Running is my weakness, but I have made big improvements and I intend on building on these improvements for an eternity.

After crossing the Finish Line, some very nice lass presented me with my finishing medal. I was very elated. I wanted to kiss her, but a voice in my head me "DUH, dude, that won;t be appropriate and you're brain is so toasted right now, you better just go away and chill before you do something ridiculous even by your standards". It might have been Melissa Hauschildt for all I know and she could kick my arse. So, I just settled for whimpering out cerebral comments such as "umm, thanks" and "wow, this was my first Half-Iron" and "duh, wow" and of course I said "many, many thanks" :)

I then walked around and did not want to sit as I was worried about getting so stiff that I would not be able to stand up. I went to the food and just got chips and pasta salad as eating whatever meat was on bones woulda' been too complicated for me. After eating, it had come time for you-know-what and I had to hunt a little bit - were they hiding it from me? I ultimately found it......2 cans of yummy 603 Brewery local beer. Prohibition was repealed.


Being still in the learning stage. I dunno; what else......whatever. I'm still savoring the fun and am not in the mood to do in-depth analysis. I highly recommend this race.