Frozen Ass 50 - RunUltra Marathon

So, it is at the Canoe Club, so you have to cross the frozen ass river to get to the "start line", which is where Gord stands with his hand in the air and says, "every one behind here".

He said go, we went.

I positioned myself at the end, there was some slow stuff for about 250 meters as people spread out single file and packed the snow down for me. I hit my pace pretty good, awesome actually. My goal was 6 hours, which I was confident I could make. I ran what felt like super slow, 6:45/km just trucking along,no problems, not breathing hard, I felt strong, I felt awesome, I felt that I would make it back by 2:45 actually which was when Gord said he would order the pizza for the second time.

I took NOTHING with me but an mp3 player and some kleenex. The temp to start was cold but I had on a long sleeved tech, a running jacket (shell) and my old battered and bruised warm up pants that I have been using as running pants for the past year (I actually wore them for the second time at this race last year).

So I am cruising, the course goes south for about 8 k, have to pee, so I stop and pee.

I continue to cruise, hit the first aid station, can you say smorg, wow, they had it all, cookies, jerky, bacon, nuts, gummies, oranges, bananas. I grabbed a stinger bar and a couple of the smallest dental office cups of Ultima and was off. My pace was bang on, 7:05. Good stuff.

Continued with more of the same, heading east now, had to stop for 30 seconds at a traffic light right after the aid station, oh well, didn't let it bother me, just trucked on. Passed the railway tracks, then saw a train chugging along,a long train, lucky I missed it. Last year I actually raced a train to the crossing point on the way back, not the smartest thing but the mind doesn't work great after 42 km of running.

Chug chug chug, actually passed a couple people, got to the next aid station at 18k. The ice was forming on my beard but I was like, whatever, it wasn't that cold, by 10 it was -13 C. No bars here so I had some ultima, grabbed some fig newtons and some jub jubs. Continued on.

Still on the pace, was feeling good. Met the first guy coming back at around 19k, so in the time I had gone 19 he had gone 31, flying, absolutly flying, then the guy behind him, about 6 minutes, I called out his split, thought it was the least I could do. They were flying.

Chug chug chug, hit my pace, think I hit a walk break around 22 k. First walk break, no prob, had to go up a slight slope and figured whats the point in running it.

Got to the turnaround, 2:58, 10 minutes faster than last year. Felt awesome. Gave my 8 1/2 month pregnant wife a kiss, LOVE her for following me around. My dad was there, nice surprise.

No bars there, grabbed some cheap cookies, or did I grab a bar too, yeah, grabbed a bar too, I don't know. Anyways, also had some pb&j wraps, which hit the spot, a glass of Ultima, head on out.

That is when I felt the headwind.

Not much of one, but it was there, about 8-10 km an hour. Cold on the face, even though by then the temp was -5 C (it as around noon).

I felt sooooooo good at the turn around. I started to slow down. I started to walk. First I slowed to 7:30/km, no big deal, then 8, then 9. Groan. My legs got so sore. My feet were sore but not that bad but my legs, my thighs, calves, ached. Whatever.

So I chugged it along. Falling behind on my goal. Minute by minute. I felt every little uneven bit on the snow trail. I felt like crying. By 30 km I was at 8 minute a km. By 33 Km I was at 9 minutes a km. I was getting tired, I mean like sleepy tired. I was not breathing hard, but my legs.

Got to the next aid station. Took me 50 minutes from Aid station to turnaround and about 55 minutes the other way, guess I didnt lose tons of time there. Took 66 minutes from Aid station one to aid station 2, 94 minutes from Aid Station 2 to Aidstions 1. BRUTAL. I hated life out there. There was no one. And then it started to warm up and I had to carry my toque and gloves. GRRRRRRRR

For all my complaining I was not running that bad. I was hitting 10 minute run 1 minute walk for a while. Then I ran into this parked train and I was like, lets run the whole train, but that was a long train and I didn't make it. Ran about 14 minutes that time though.


Got to the next aid station (I call it aid station 1 above), buddy tells me my wife was just there but he told her that I passed a bit ago. I was like great. She is going to be sitting out there at the finish in the cold waiting for my sorry ass to roll on in. Grabbed a chocolate and a couple of those small dental cups of ultimat and I was off.

8 k to go and I was moving. I had been listening to old Q and This is American life episodes, they may have been slowing me down. Got some music going, I was flying, cranked off 2 10 minute sets of around a 7:00 minute pace. Awesome. Kinda fell apart again after that.

I made a good effort though. My split to get to Aid station 1 was 58 minutes, my split to get back was 64, so not bad. I shuffled, sped up, walked. Did a lot of undeserved cursing. I was not in a happy place.

I kept thinking why in the world I was doing this, what point does it have. Here I am, a year later, still stumbling in for what is last or close to last place. What is the use. Not fun times.

My dad came hiking down the trail at the end, about 700 meters out. It was great to see him. He ran with me a bit at the end, gave me some energy. Then I saw Marjorie, and my mom and Sister, it put a big smile on my face. "Sprinted" to the finish.



Better estimate my pace somy wife is waiting for me for over an hour.

Carry some water or ultima. I was well hydrated and peed twice during the race, but, I always seemed to pick it up after an aid station and i think it was the ultima. I ate 1.5 stinger bars, a bunch of cookies and gummies. It worked, I think,for energy but I was down as far as liquid goes.

I need to get some sort of fuel belt, I just dont like the idea of it.

Not much. Wandered my ass across the river to the Canoe club. They were having the awards ceremony. At least I made it this year. Just caught the end. Had like 7 pieces of pizza. I was STARVING, having eating next to nothing for almost 21 hours. Drank two electrolyte drinks, a bunch of coke. Drove home.

Tried to have an ice bath, failed. Milk, banana, more milk, juice, shower, bath, crawled into the fetal position. Feeling a little better now that I write this.


I don't know. I ran lots. Almost 140 miles in January, a high. I felt strong. I think I tappered well. The one thing I neglected was back to back long runs that I did last year.

That being said, I did better than last year. I am over my little crisis I had betweein 42 and 50 km. I finished stronger. I was 10 minutes faster to the turnaround and 15 minutes faster on the return. I will be back, I will be stronger, I will have more experience. It's a learning process right, and no one said it was easy.

It really is a great run.


Awesome race. 30 bucks. Great volunteers. Great participants, everyone super friendly. I suppose they could have more aid stations but what are you going to do for 125 people.