Comments: I am going to be laid up for the next six weeks so this race was very important to me. Running is more than just a way to keep my body fat low. It is my mental health break. It is my meditation. It is the time I think through problems, make plans, and reflect. It is also a big part of my personal identity. I am a runner.
So who will I be when I can't run? I know I'll suffer from a bit of depression. Even short term illnesses find me depressed. I know I'll feel a little lost. I know I'll be a lot cranky. You may want to pray for my poor husband. So running a marathon two days before surgery, and a day after my nasty bout of pancreatitis was a personal coup. I am going to take my shirt to the hospital to remind me that I am STILL a runner and marathoner.
I know in my head that I have years of running ahead of me. But my heart fears "this is it." I *know* that isn't true. I just wish I knew it weren't true.
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