Horribly Hilly Hundreds 100K - CycleTour

Some of the grades were absolutely unfathomable. We were told we skipped the first loop, but I still can't figure out where we were supposed to go.

Anyway the first couple of hills sucked pretty bad. I was supposed to stay with my friends Mike and Steve but after the first time or so I saw LazyMarathoner and WaveDog so I stopped to see if it was all good. It was, they were waiting for 1TT, who I saw before the race, so I took off. Eventually I caught up to my friends, at the first rest stop. I saw Schmize and Core and Tripletmom and LazyMarathoner and MissKelly and Whizzz. Going into the rest stop was a killer hill. I was happy to be done with it. I took a photo with my phone as I was climbing and nearly tipped from going so slow.

After the first 35 I said to my friend Mike ... `You know I'm impressed with these hills and this is the toughest thing I've done but I actually expected it to be worse.' Request approved: It got bad. Really bad. Lots of killer hills that never seemed to end. The last two miles were one really really long hill on which lots of people were walking and then a turn back into the park where lots of people were walking. Those who weren't walking were suffering. Me included.

I swore I was NOT going to get off my bike. I wasn't unclipping even if it meant falling over still clipped and dying right there on the course. I actually contemplated for a second riding off into the woods and into a tree and saying I broke something just so I wouldn't have to keep riding up this mother. But that'd been really embarrassing so I just kept trudging up. I saw Craig with about 100 yards left and he told me I had a sexy ass. Dude, tell me something I DON'T know! So I crossed the finish line and rode straight to my car. I know if I'd have gotten off the bike I would've left it where I put it down. I didn't want to even see that thing.

All in all it was extremely taxing and tough but I kept my head and remembered what my pro-cyclist neighbor told me: Spin the ups and hammer the downs. That served me well as I stayed ahead or just with people who'd pass me on the ups then coast the downs. Plus I think it saved my legs for the last two hills.

Funny things heard on the course:

`Tony, I may like you again at the finish line but right now I hate you. And I hate Wisconsin.'

`Find the guy who talked me into this. I wanna have a word with him.'

`Mike. Just don't look up.'

Nothing. I had fun and did the course as fast as I could without doing any permanent injury. It was good to see all the donks again!!! Sorry we couldn't get more time with y'all!!!

Had food. And lots of it.


Sorry this is so long. I just felt you all needed to know how terribly long and hilly this crazy course was. I would recommend you all do it so you can say `I did it.' It's definitely a feat. Plus 18 percent of the field were women. And they represented! Thanks 18 percent!